Page 79 of Septembers

“Jesus Christ.”

“This is why I didn’t want to tell you.”

He threw the blankets off and got out of bed. “Because I would point out what a colossally terrible idea it is to move in with someone who led you on for years?”

She shook her head. “That’s rich coming from you.”

The accusation stabbed him through the chest, but he didn’t want to go there, not yet, so instead he threw up his defences. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“You know exactly what it means, Theo.” She spoke low, her angry glare boring into him.

“I don’t lead people on. They know exactly what they’re getting into with me.” Except for Nick. Nick had no idea what a piece of shit he was. At least not yet.

Jordan stood too, her shoulders pushed back. He’d seen her use this stance on sexist producers and overbearing fans but never him.

“The fact that you don’t know is the problem. You’re doing exactly what you hate Becks for.”

“I would never treat anyone the way she treats you.”

“Ha!” Jordan threw up her arms and stormed out of the room. Theo knew it was a bad idea to follow, but he did it anyway.

“Fool you once, shame on Becks. Fool you six fucking times, shame on⁠—”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about!” She went into her room and started shoving random things into her backpack.

“So what, you’re moving out tonight? Without even thinking about this?”

“I have thought about it.” A crumpled shirt, a balled-up pair of socks, her phone charger. “Believe it or not, I don’t tell you every thought in my head as they happen.”

“Since when?”

Her laptop wouldn’t fit, so she grunted, threw out one of her notebooks, then shoved the laptop in until she could zip around it.

Theo held up the notebook like it was exhibit A. “How many lyrics did you write about her breaking your heart? Why are you giving her the chance to do it again?”

She snatched the book back and tossed it into her desk drawer. “You’re being cruel. This isn’t like you.”

“Because I always tell you it’s okay, and that you can count on me to pick up the pieces after she destroys you, but I won’t this time, Jordan.”

“You won’t need to.” She hoisted her backpack onto her shoulder and went for the bedroom door, which he happened to be standing in front of. “People change,” she said, her voice shaking. “I know you don’t, but other people do.” That hit him harder than she must’ve intended because she closed her eyes, shaking her head. “Move. I’m leaving.”

He took her arm in one last desperate attempt to stop the disaster she was walking into. “Don’t go. Please, Jordan. Stay with me.”

She held his gaze, her eyes glassy with tears. He thought she would say something, thought they would talk it out, thought she would choose herself over the unhealthy infatuation. But no. When her mouth opened again, it was to say, “Move, Theo.”

He did, and she left.

What was wrong with him? He wanted to punch something. He wasn’t a puncher by nature, but this situation seemed like the right time to try it out. Not the wall, that was insane. A pillow. No, that wasn’t satisfying enough. His own leg.

He regretted it immediately and sunk onto the couch, clutching his now throbbing thigh. “I admit it,” he said out loud to the empty apartment. “This is a low point.”

A knock on the door made him think for a single, erratic moment that it was Jordan coming to her senses. But of course Jordan wouldn’t knock. This was still her apartment.

He opened the door to find Nick holding up a paper bag, handsome even under fluorescent lighting. “Chicken noodle. I know it’s cliché, but…”

Theo was going to throw up.

“Oh wow, you’re really in bad shape. Come on, let’s get you to bed. Do you have a fever?” He reached to touch Theo’s forehead, but Theo turned away. “Is everything okay?”