Page 73 of Cries of Cassie

She needs our help. Not someone tiptoeing around her because she's too afraid to face the shit that we got her into.

"So, how long should she wait to smile? How long will it take for it to be okay that she feels happiness? Or will it always be fake? Will she forever be a victim not a survivor? Even then, I'm pretty sure a victim can have a genuine smile."

The gulp that cramps my throat forces me to pause. It sounds fucked up when he says it like that.

Maddox isn't ready to pull his punches quite yet. "I don't think Cassie needs a crash course on trauma, but you do. When did it become unacceptable for someone who's gone through something awful to feel something positive?"

"I—"

Maddox sits forward, pinning me with the most serious stare I've ever seen. "I'm not finished."

Another gulp, this time accompanied by images of my mom living her best life. She went through the same thing Cassie did, for a longer stretch of time, yet she's the happiest, most loving person I've ever known.

"Do you remember the night we professed our love for Cassie? The story you told?"

"Do you remember that night in the kitchen?" I murmur, staring at the wall now. "You told me you were happy. That you were feeling like you were close to living your dream. Did you mean that?"

Gulping, Cassie fidgets, remembering that odd conversation."Yes. I meant it."

"Instead of asking about your dream, I told you about my nightmares." My chuckle is humorless. "And do you remember what you said?" She frowns, trying to recall the specifics, but I continue. "You flipped my script effortlessly. When I told you my greatest fear, you heard my dreams."

She had said, "Your dream, one of the things that matters most to you is ensuring your loved ones are safe and live full lives."

"Of course I responded like an ass, yet you wanted to know what makes me happy because your happiness confused me that night." God, I was awful.

She nods. "A foreign concept."

"The only thing that confused me that night was how in the hell you could feel any joy with me around. But that's not the point. Come here," I whisper, leaning back against the headboard. She doesn't hesitate to climb onto my lap and straddle my thighs. "You see the light in the dark. I was an ass complaining about my nightmares, and you had me listing off all the things that make me happy in under a minute. You're my sunshine. That was the moment I fell in love with you. It was then followed by immense guilt because I sent you to your room."

"You did do that..." she murmurs, playing with the collar of my black tank top. "I left because this is your home and your safe space."

Cradling her face in my palms so our noses are close together, I breathe her in. "And now, Sunshine, this is your home. Your safe space. Because ours is no longer within these walls. It's you."

"Our Starlight," I rasp, the meaning of it all hitting me square in the chest. My sunshine. "Fuck."

"I love you, Parker," Maddox whispers, adjusting and putting my forehead on his shoulder. "Every argument, fight, and disagreement we've had about our woman is in the past. But I'll always make damn sure you remember why you fell for her in the first place."

Pinching my eyes closed against the burn of emotion flooding my senses, I grab hold of him. "I just can't stop picturing her broken body. Most people wouldn't be smiling so soon after that."

Maddox grips my neck, grounding me. Guiding me. "We might be surprised. The happiness of an individual after a traumatic experience doesn't invalidate any of it. Not the laughter they find or the pain they suffered. We just have to be there. To look deeper and help her heal while cherishing those gorgeous fucking smiles."

I swallow a few times to get my wits about me before pushing back and staring deep into his eyes. "She's so fucking strong. I'm in absolute awe."

He smiles and presses his mouth to mine. Shit, when's the last time we kissed? Our groans are deep as our tongues touch and tangle. It's not a fight for dominance this time, but a reconnecting of two men who love each other through all the bad shit.

Words bubble up on my tongue that I never felt the need to say to Maddox until now. With a hand firmly on his chest, I nudge him back and rest our foreheads together. "I'm sorry, Mads. Sorry for all the times I encouraged us to push her away. Sorry for wanting her to hate me so I could keep my head and heart buried in the sand. I didn't help anything by being an ass, and I wish like hell I could go back to demand you bring her home."

His shuddering breath almost makes my bottom lip tremble. "Me too, Parker. Me fucking too. I'm sorry for all the fighting and feeding you lies about her being unimportant. Your defense mechanisms latched onto my stupid fucking plan and I only made everything worse for everyone."

"We're a pretty fucked up coin, huh?" I huff a sad laugh.

He kisses me softly before saying, "Not with her around. She shines us up real nice."

Groaning, I pull away and scrub my hands down my face. "You know what's incredibly uncomfortable? I fucking miss her. I kissed her two fucking hours ago and tucked her into bed with Koa. She's right upstairs and I miss her."

"Come on then," Maddox chuckles and drags me to my feet, remembering to be slow to keep my leg from hurting. As he pulls me through the house and up to our big bedroom, he admits, "I miss her even when I'm holding her just because I know what it's like to be without her. That's love in its purest form."

Cringing from that holy word, I shove him. "Ugh, maybe don't call me pure after I felt a man’s skull shatter in my hand a few days ago."