Page 75 of Cries of Cassie

Our relationship has had so many ups and downs, but I still have so much to learn about them. I want more, and I need it all. I'm just fucking sitting here, trying to stuff my insecurities aside until I can cry alone in the bathroom later, so why not talk about their childhoods or some shit?

"His uncle, Noah, the man my parents were in a relationship with in our early adulthood, taught him some hard lessons," Parker joins the conversation.

Recollection hits me. "Oh yeah. Needing to be ruthless all the time."

Parker nods sadly. "Pair that with don't let anything slip by you, and it filters into a lot of parts of life. Like sitting for a tattoo, even with mild pain, leaves you vulnerable. Add the healing time and a literal wound for all to see, and well...it's a weakness to get a tattoo."

Horrified and heartbroken for the boy Ripley used to be, I grip his knee, but my eyes trail across Parker's tattoos, confused.

Parker smiles softly as he sits beside Ripley. "Like I said, Noah calmed down when he got with my parents. I wasn't brainwashed by an enforcer. That position can do some damage..."

"Parker!" Maddy's warning tone snaps through the living room. Everyone stiffens and looks at me like I might fucking break.

"What?" I ask.

Maddy rushes over and drops to his knees in front of me. "I'm sorry for snapping. Did I scare you?"

I fight like hell not to roll my eyes. Instead I place my hands on his jaw and smile sweetly. "Maddy, it's you. You could never scare me. None of you could."

Of course I'm aware that my words are meaningful, but I didn't expect all four of them to look at me with varying degrees of heat and awe. "Stop. Shit, I'm not cleared for any sexual activity yet," I hiss, waving them off. "Someone tell me when they lost their virginity!"

Parker leans back against the couch and crosses an ankle over his knee with a cheeky grin. I need to see his smile more. "Koa definitely needs to share his story first."

Koa teasingly sticks his tongue out at Parker. "You only threw me under the bus because it's taboo and involves you."

"Oh my god," I breathe. "Wait. I forgot Parker's parents basically adopted you! Does that mean you're brothers?!"

That's so hot.

"NO!" they both bark, slamming the door on that fantasy.

I’m not sure what it is about these men, but they awaken sides of me I didn't know existed. It's terrifying and amazing at the same time.

Koa eyes Parker with so much desire, I almost need to fan myself. This is the distraction I need from the constant pain and whirring thoughts.

"I was fourteen when I was living on the streets and they found me," Koa states like that isn't one of the saddest things I've ever heard. "There was never any talk about adopting me, but I did live there with Parker for a while. He moved into the clubhouse a few years before I did since he's two years older than me. We never called each other brothers, just friends in passing. Never that close considering our age differences and my inability to trust that shit stinks."

Maddy groans and scrubs a hand down his face. My nose scrunches automatically, forcing me to stifle the wince at the ache. Koa really does have a way with words.

"Wait, so how did you all come together? Romantically. I’m assuming Koa lost his virginity to one of you?" I sound like a dork, but I'm trying here. We've been walking on eggshells around each other since I woke up in that damn hospital. I want us to get back to where we were the day before everything went to hell.

I want Ripley to look at me like I'm his queen, not a porcelain doll. Maddy needs to stop fretting over any possible PTSD response I might have.

Koa and Parker are acting the most normal, but I have noticed Parker's frowns and Koa's mother-hen side coming out with a ferocity I didn't expect. I just want to find our new normal, and that starts with talking. Not about the awful stuff.

Maddy shifts, glancing at Ripley with warmth that isn't returned. We're gonna need to do something about that soon. "Rip and I were best friends growing up. When we turned twenty, we kind of came together in a clash of muscles and tongues."

Parker slips into the story easily. "I was so excited for them. The three of us grew up doing everything together. So a year after they became official, well, Maddy cornered me and made me shoot my shot. He's always been way too confident in himself." He winks, making my heart trip over itself.

All eyes turn to Koa who actually blushes. "Um. I had a crush on all three of them forever. That part was probably a bit inappropriate considering Mom and Dad finished the job of raising me with Parker."

"And then?" I urge, needing to know the rest. How explosive was their first time? To have been a fly on the wall.

Koa clears his throat. "Let's see...Mads was twenty-eight when you guys met, you were twenty-five and I was twenty-six.” His head wiggles back and forth, calculating through time. "I walked in on them fucking in their living room a little over two years before Maddox met you, so twenty-four when I lost my virginity to Parker. Group sex for the first time is a little overwhelming.” He chuckles.

"He walked into the house and didn't so much as think about turning around. Never left," Ripley rumbles, finally with some softness in his voice.

I don't know if it's the lack of sleep lately or just the fact that I love their story, but I tear up. "I suppose you all know how Maddy and I met?"