Page 69 of A Kingdom of Magic and Rain

His chest heaved on a heavy sigh. “I feel conflicted. I know that’s not what you wanted, but I’m grateful that it’s you.” I should also feel grateful because I had found a way to save my kingdom, but all I felt was bitter regret about how everything had unfolded. “Your patterns…they’re gone.” When I lifted my hands to inspect them, my skin no longer shimmered with golden designs. “Except for the star.” His left hand engulfed mine, and he ran his thumb over the star near the V between my thumb and pointer finger.

His touch elicited a shiver, and I pulled my hand away and asked, “Did you find Tarn?”

“I did. He’s demobilizing our forces as we speak. He didn’t take the news well, but he isn’t foolish enough to go against my wishes since I’m now the most powerful being in the Fae realm.”

“Are you still the most powerful? Even after I siphoned the ancient magic from you?”

“I am. You siphoning some of Silberium from me took the edge off, but it didn’t diminish my magical strength.” He didn’t sound proud of the fact, and when I glanced at his face, I didn’t find the same power-hungry gleam I had seen in Sorin’s eyes.

“Lady May told me that Estelle and Oberon were lovers. It’s them I have been seeing in my dreams, not us.”

“I see. The Golden Queen and the Silver-eyed King. I wonder why our history doesn’t mention that.”

“Our history doesn’t mention many things. There is only one person who knows what truly happened.”

Feeling steady on my feet, I stepped away from Adrian, and we both turned and looked at Lady May.

“Do you think we are them from another life?” I faced him again.

He met my gaze. “Even if we are, we can forge our own path…together.” He tried to reach for me, but I folded my arms over my chest, avoiding his touch. Frowning, he balled his hand into a fist and dropped it. “I must return to Aubrielle, but I’ll be back to discuss the wedding.”

“No!” I interjected. “Send Thea instead.”

His frown deepened. “Emelin⁠—”

“Please. I need some time away from you. I’ll see you at the wedding.”

AFTER

January 17th

A tear splattered on the page, smudging the ink.

“No, no, no,” I muttered, lifting my gaze from the diary. “I can’t be crying!”

Reaching into the vanity drawer, I retrieved a handkerchief and dabbed the corners of my eyes. Two weeks had passed since that fateful day in the throne room in Aubrielle when everything had changed. I was about to return to that place. The place where I had slain the Fae king and changed the course of history. The prophecy had turned out to be true, only not in the way everyone had expected. The world as we knew it had ceased to exist, but I had ushered in a new world—a better world—where Emeraldia and Aubrielle would coexist in peace and balance.

Closing the diary with a heavy sigh, I turned away from the mirror and looked around my room. I felt like a different person from the one who had left for Zalie over two months ago, but had I truly changed? I had been as heartbroken then as I was now. In a way, Adrian’s betrayal had cut deeper than Gideon’s because he knew about my past trauma. He knew, yet he had chosen to hide who he was from me anyway. Maybe if he had told me the truth, we could have found a way forward together. Now, we would never know if everything could have unfolded differently.

Even though dwelling on what could have been was pointless, I hadn’t been able to stop myself from constantly replaying the past two months in my head. Could I have known somehow that Adrian was hiding things from me if I had paid closer attention? Was that why a shadow had crept across his face when I had told him that I would always want him? Because he had known that I would change my mind once the truth came out? Had I changed my mind? I hadn’t seen him in two weeks, but my heart still longed for him; my body still longed to be near him.

“Because I’m foolish.” I shook my head in disappointment.

Before I could spiral deeper into my self-chastising thoughts, a knock drew my attention to the door. My mother walked in a moment later, resplendent in an emerald-green gown and her bejeweled crown.

“It’s almost time,” she said as she closed the door behind her. When she turned around, I noticed that she was holding a small black box. “You look stunning.” Her eyes misted over as she took me in.

I suddenly felt like a little girl in her presence. I don’t want to do this, and I don’t want to leave. I wanted to tell her. I kept my mouth shut, but even though I didn’t utter the words, she must have read them on my face.

“Oh, Sunshine,” she crooned, coming closer. “There is no need for that look. I know this is not what you wanted, but it’s not truly an arranged marriage. You and Adrian know each other.”

“Do we, though?” I challenged, rising to my feet from the cushioned stool before the vanity.

My mother didn’t reply. Instead, she set down the box she’d been holding and clasped my shoulders to gently turn me around to face the mirror.

“Look at you,” she said softly. “You have found a way to mend our broken magic.”

“If only I could find a way to mend my broken heart,” I said grimly, staring at my reflection.