Page 24 of My Single Dad Biker

She sets the ice down on the table. Looks at my face and then at my shoulder and then back at my face.

"I'm glad you're here," she says quietly.

Something in my chest loosens.

She stands up and takes the ice to the sink and comes back and sits down again but closer this time. Close enough that our knees are almost touching.

"I was scared today," she says. "After you left this morning. I kept thinking about those men in the parking lot and what would have happened if you hadn't been there. And then I kept thinking about the fact that they're still out there and you're dealing with them and I don't know how to help."

"You can't help with this part."

"That's what scares me."

I reach out and take her hand. Her fingers are cool from holding the ice and they curl around mine immediately.

"I'm not going to let anything happen to you," I say.

"That's not what I'm scared of. I'm scared something's going to happen to you."

I don't know what to say to that. Nobody has been scared for me in years. Louis worries sometimes but he's eight and I manage what he knows. Katherine is looking at me like I matter to her in ways that go beyond three days of knowing each other.

"I'm careful," I say.

"You had a man's throat under your forearm two hours ago."

"He was at a warehouse half a mile from your school with enough product to distribute through three counties. He didn't get to walk away from that without consequences."

"I'm not saying you were wrong. I'm saying I'm scared anyway."

We sit there for a moment and she's still holding my hand and I can feel her pulse in her wrist where my thumb is resting and something about the quiet makes me want to tell her things I haven't told anyone.

"I was wary today because I was trained to be," I say. "Nine years military. Two deployments. You learn to assess and execute and not make mistakes because mistakes get people killed."

She's watching me now with complete attention. Doesn't say anything. Just waits.

"Second deployment I was twenty-six. Sergeant. Responsible for my guys. We took a convoy route outside Fallujah that intelligence said was clear." I stop. This is harder than I thought it would be. "Intelligence was wrong."

Her hand tightens on mine but she still doesn't speak.

"IED took the first vehicle. Three men. PFC Danny Torres. SFC James Keller. Corporal Marcus Webb died in Germany three days later." I look at her. "I made the call to take that route. I trusted the intelligence. I was responsible for them and they died because I made the wrong call."

"Holt," she says quietly.

"The after-action review cleared me. Said the intel was bad and the decision was reasonable given what I knew. Doesn't change the fact that I'm the one who made it and they're dead."

She's quiet for a long moment. Then she asks, "Is that why you're so careful with everything? With Louis? With decisions?"

"Yeah. You make one wrong call and people die. I won't make that mistake again."

"That's why your marriage ended."

It's not a question but I answer anyway. "I came back different. Jenna needed me to be warmer, to talk about feelings, to be emotionally available. I tried. I couldn't be that person anymore. She needed more than I could give and we both knew it. She signed over custody of Louis when he was three and moved to Arizona. It was the right decision for both of us."

Katherine is still holding my hand. "And you've been alone since."

"Yeah."

"By choice?"