Page 116 of How Does It Feel?

His frozen face stopped me completely.

“You remember it?” his whisper laced with panic.

I nodded wearily, and his amber eyes seemed to thrum with magic before he bent over the bed and grabbed my hands.

“Tarani was with me, I-I was taking her back home from beyond the veil, and I had to make sure you were okay.”

The panic in his voice set my blood pumping in overtime. I swear I could smell the faint scent of smoke from the forest that night. I was so tense.

“What did you do?” I asked.

The feel of his hands around mine unsettled me for some reason. It didn’t feel right. The smell of smoke filled my head enough that I had to sniff to clear my nose.

“I will not jeopardize my baby sister, Cal. I never should have taken her with me to the Unseelie realm, let alone have her witness—” His voice cracked, filled with pain and regret.

“What did you do, Aurelius? Why would Princess Tarani be in danger now? You both left the Unseelie realm safely—I don’t understand,” I whispered as I tried to pull my hands free, but he held firm.

For some reason, the action made my senses flare, and a tiny swirl of anger floated in my mind. Normally I would be comforted by his touch?

“I-I just couldn’t lose you, I couldn’t,” he said as he squeezed my hand tighter, pulling it up to his cheek.

It was oddly intimate, and I shifted uncomfortably, wanting to pull away.

He’s my best friend, like a brother to me. This was weird, and I didn’t like it. Burning wood, like the scent of a forest fire, was everywhere. I sniffed again.

“What did you do?” I asked again, pulling my hand back, losing my patience.

“You can never tell anyone, anyone, what you saw me do. Do you understand? It will result in mine and Tarani’s death . . . and likely yours as well.”

My breath hitched, and my eyes began to water uncontrollably at his words. I had never been close with Tarani or Langmore, only the queen and Eli, but I still cared about what had happened to them.

He squeezed my forearms so hard I thought it might bruise. I looked away, attempting to school my features.

I had already told the Unseelie prince.

For the very first time, a tiny bit of me was glad he was dead and couldn’t hurt my family.

I opened my mouth to make my confession to Eli and to tell him that he was hurting my arm, but when I looked up to meet his eyes, they were filled with horror as they stared at me.

Minuscule wisps of black smoke moved from my skin before dissipating into the air.

“Oh, my sun—” His mouth gaped open with shock. “His powers—”

He flung my arms from him in pure terror as we watched the smooth velvety tendrils emit themselves from my arms and hands.

As soon as he stopped touching me, the smoke ceased.

We looked at each other in silent alarm.

“Maybe it’s something that happens when one of the bonded dies,” I said, knowing in my gut it wasn’t true.

I swear I could feel a distant amusement that didn’t feel like my own.

“Yea . . . maybe,” he said, staring at me as if he’d never seen me before this moment.

I quickly tried to change the subject.

“Do you think your mom—Queen Saracen—will really let me live with you guys in the Seelie court now? That she will return what’s left of my heart?” I asked my best friend, and I couldn’t help but feel a little sad.