Page 15 of How Does It Feel?

“Nothing. Years I worked to find everything I could about this mystical fruiting body. Eventually, the state incinerated my notes and fired me. Claimed I lacked the mental capacity to continue.” He looked at the ground, unable to keep eye contact. “Maybe they were right.”

“I don’t think they were right, Earl,” I said as I walked closer to pat his bony back.

“I wouldn’t be so sure. You haven’t even heard what I’ve seen.” He smiled with a tiny sparkle of hope in his cloudy eyes; it looked like it’d been a while since it had been there.

“Well, I’d love to hear more. I’m sure I don’t know near as much about fungi as you, but I can hold my own on a foray. I’m actually collecting mycelium for a project I’m currently working on. It’s to save the luna moth population,” I murmured as I leaned back against the wall and watched his face.

If he really did know as much as I suspected, then I wanted to get his help finding what I needed.

“Really?” He perked up like a golden retriever being handed a ball. “What are you looking for? Maybe I can help, I’m practically a fungi map of Willow Springs at this stage.” He smiled, just like I imagined a golden retriever would smile.

I pulled a stool out and sat down. Was this shaping up to be the luckiest day of my life? I grabbed a thick manilla folder of papers and handed it to Earl, who took them eagerly. He pulled a pair of readers from a case in his back pocket and began to look them over.

“Well, that’s one of my problems,” I stated, and my pulse quickened. “You see, I’m using the ‘roots’ of the mushroom’s fruiting body, the mycelium. I need the highest levels of psilocybin possible to dose the water where the moths will drink. I will place special feeders at the locations where the larvae have been predominantly hatched in the past, ensuring they are thirsty and will have the need to drink. The mycelium water will provide an eighty-six percent immunity growth from the parasites that are wiping them out.”

I smiled so wide it made my cheeks hurt. Usually, no one understood how exciting this was. They just heard “make mushroom water to feed moths, and they will get better.” I knew Earl would understand. The more moths, the easier it would be to track them.

“Holy shit, Callie,” he murmured, staring wide-eyed at me from his seat. “That’s absolutely brilliant. What’s the problem?”

I tried to calm my smile.

“Well, the only problem is I need the highest levels of amatoxin possible in the mycelia, and the only mushrooms I’ve found that would work have already come and gone. There are only a few known varieties that even have that amount of amatoxin. The luna moths are expected to be here in less than a month, and I don’t know of anything strong enough that I can get in time. I don’t have time to spawn anything—”

“I know where you can find some now.”

I looked up, feeling as if the world were in slow motion. Were we speaking about the same things? Were the incredibly rare mushrooms that I searched for the same ones that Earl spoke of? Goose bumps ghosted across my skin. It was almost too great of a coincidence.

I expected to see the happy golden retriever again, but the face he held was somber and full of sullenness. His face was still as stone, but his eyes brimmed full of something I couldn’t quite place. Regret?

“You do? How would I not have seen them?” I asked, feeling suddenly weary.

“Because they don’t show up for everybody.” He swiveled his chair to look at the microscope. “I know where to find them, it’s the fungi that has ruined my life. Maybe you will be able to find a purpose with them. They have only brought me heartache and distanced me from my loved ones.” He cleared the emotion from his voice. “I hope they are what you need, Callie.”

“Do they have a name? What are they called?” I asked curiously.

The mushrooms that would help me the most were only rumored to even exist. I could use a less potent variety, but I wasn’t entirely sure how well it would work.

He turned to me with a tired and heavy expression.

“Destroying angels.”

Chapter 6

An Unexpected Turn

Callie

“I don’t trust the nut. He belongs in an institution or something,” Cliff murmured.

“Oh you’re just mad ’cause ever since she got to talkin’ with Earl, you don’t get to drive Cal around anymore. Harder to get out of the friend zone now.” Cecelia laughed heartily.

“I’m sorry, Cecelia, but it’s Callie not Cal, please, and don’t you two have anything better to do than hover in my office?” I scolded. My office was barely big enough for me, and I was already feeling extra anxious today.

“Oh, exca-use me, Callie,” Cecelia said sarcastically. “Hot date with Earl again?”

I looked up with an annoyed expression from where I sat on the floor, packing my back pack to roll my eyes as hard as I could at the graying woman. She grinned back, thoroughly pleased with herself.

“Tonight we are going to check the west end of the park for the mushrooms I need. So far, we’ve managed to find nearly every other fungi under the sun but the ones I can use.” I huffed grumpily as I continued stuffing slides and gloves into the pack. “Earl’s seen them before, I guess they are just tricky to find sometimes.”