Page 7 of How Does It Feel?

Callie

“You’re doing what now?” asked Cliff as he stood over me in the deep green grass.

“Don’t move, you make them nervous,” I reprimanded the hovering man as I tried to shoo the teenage bunnies into the grassy field.

They didn’t seem interested in leaving. All five brownish-gray rabbits continued to play and bounce about my legs as I sat stretched out in the grassy field.

“They don’t look nervous to me. They look like they don’t want to leave you, Disney princess.” I could hear the smirk in his voice without looking.

“I’m going to—” I started before Cliff cut me off.

“In non-nerd terms, something I can understand, please.” He smiled down at me.

His golden locks were covered by a worn ball cap leaving just a few tufts of disheveled, sun-drenched hair to pop out wildly.

He was cute in a boyish sort of way. He had made no secret of pursuing me since I had stepped foot in Willow Springs, but I wasn’t interested in him that way. I had goals and dreams, and they didn’t involve love. Love made you hurt. Love made you distracted and inevitably sad and empty when they left.

“Ouch!” My love-hating thoughts were interrupted as one of the small bunnies took a taste of my finger.

I loved animals.

They couldn’t drive. They couldn’t crash rushing home to see you. They couldn’t leave you with an empty hole in your chest. I shook myself out of my thoughts.

Why weren’t they running off into the field like normal wild bunnies? They hadn’t been at the center for very long and had been cleared and ready to be off on their own.

Instead of running free the moment they were let out into the wide open meadow of the large state park, they bounced around our legs in circles playing happily. I was in no rush, and they were a beautiful distraction. Although, I was rather eager to evaluate the infamous “honey hole” and see what I could do to help the bass of Lake Blackwing, if anything.

“Well, initially, I only took this position because it was on the migratory pattern of the Actias luna. Several, if not all, of the lepidoptera are in danger of extinction due to the Compsilura concinnata parasite. I hypothesized that by infusing the water source with the mycelium of the Amanita muscaria, I could re-establish their immunity, thus creating a continuation of—”

“I said in terms a normal human would understand, Callie,” Cliff impatiently interrupted as he tried to shove a few of the fluffy bunnies off into the field. Obviously, he had already grown tired of listening to my interests.

I rolled my eyes so hard I was surprised I didn’t see my brain. “The big green moths that come here have a parasite that’s killing them. Parasite bad, moths good.” I grinned at a fluffy bunny in front of me. “I’m going to take the pretty red mushrooms and make a drink for the moths that will kill off the bad parasites allowing them to thrive.” I bit my lip in an attempt to stifle my laughter as I watched the rusty wheels turning in Cliff’s mind, sorting through all the beer and football.

“You mean the big red mushrooms with the white specks? I thought those were poisonous?”

“Well, to us, they can be highly poisonous, but they also contain trace amounts of psilocybin, so people have been known to ‘party’ with them. Foolishly too, because too many and they can easily kill you.”

I had started walking in wide circles, trying to get the bunnies to wander off. It looked like a bad magic act as they followed absent-mindedly behind me. Why did this always happen to me?

“Geez, Callie, you really are different,” Cliff said with a sincere look as he watched me now try to outrun the bunnies.

“What do you mean? Don’t mock me.”

My mouth felt dry and thirsty as I stopped running and crossed my arms. The sun would be setting soon, and if the bunnies didn’t get out into the woods before dark, I would have to take them back to the center. How the heavens would I tell Cecelia another of my releases wouldn’t . . . release?

“I ain’t pickin’ on ya, Callie, I mean it. You’re smart enough to be some big hotshot scientist at a big company making tons of money, but instead, you’re in bum-fuck Willow Springs running from rabbits with a hundred-year-old truck, livin’ in an old hunting cabin that stinks of piss. All ’cause you wanna help moths. You’re as sweet as they come, Callie Sue.”

He had taken off his aviator sunglasses to study me. His eyes turned serious, and I suddenly didn’t like the way he watched me. I didn’t want that. I just wanted a friend. Why couldn’t we be just friends?

I picked dried grass blades out of my hair, attempting to avoid his perusal. “Thanks, Cliff, that’s sweet. I just want to help the creatures that can’t help themselves. I’m nothing unusual. Look at you. You’re the game warden. That’s a big deal.” I smiled broadly at the man in an attempt to refocus the conversation. “If they don’t leave soon, I’m going to have to take them back to the center with us. Go! Go now, sweet bunnies! It’s time. If you ever need me, you know where to find me, but right now it’s time for you to go!” I shouted at the bouncing cotton balls, suddenly wishing I could leave this situation.

Maybe going fishing alone in the dark with Cliff tonight wasn’t such a good idea. He normally was really nice and a great friend. It was never weird, but lately, he had been putting it in overdrive.

All the bunnies froze to watch me as I scolded them. It was quite comical. Then as though commanded, they each bounced happily off in different directions. Some into the woods, some into the thicket of the field as though they had simply been waiting for my word.

Cliff and I looked at each other wide-eyed.

“Wow,” Cliff murmured to himself. “Disney fuckin’ princess.”