Page 83 of How Does It Feel?

I studied her heart-shaped face in surprise. “You—what? I was under the impression you all liked Prince Mendax?” I rose from my chair, now fully dressed in a beautiful crimson gown that fell in a heap to the floor. It instantly reminded me of pooling blood.

“Oh! Miss—we do! We very much like the prince!” She scrambled, beginning to look flushed as the maids all exchanged worried looks. “We like him very much, which is why we champion for you to survive. Had Prince Mendax not killed his father—well, there is no telling what would have happened to all of us.”

The small group of maids walked me toward the door and stopped so the one speaking could adjust the back tendril of hair that kept releasing itself from my updo. She looked exactly like what the human fairy tales assumed small fairies to look like, petite with slightly more angled features and incredibly pointed ears.

Eventually, she stopped trying to fix my hair and snapped her fingers. A large luna moth that had been floating through the room—they always seemed to be—flew smooth and unhurried to the back of my hair where it landed, holding the misbehaved tendril in place. Another came and rested on the top, fluttering as if they were excited for the task.

“If you are on Mendax’s side, then why do you root for me?” I asked as I watched the maids all blush in unison.

“We have been maids of the Unseelie castle for hundreds of years, since His Highness was only a baby.”

Hundreds of years old?

She continued, looking down in an attempt to hide her face under her ashy brown hair. “And he never laughs or smiles, never has. He is completely unable to feel anything but hatred.” She reached out to put her small hand on my arm. “Please know that not all Unseelie are this way. We have normal and happy villages, much like I have heard of in the human realm—”

“What does this have to do with me?” I asked, feeling a painful twinge at the mention of the human realm.

She moved close to my face, her brown eyes glittering. She reminded me of a giant doll that smelled like cupcakes, not at all what I would expect from a maid of the horrible Unseelie castle. “He likes you, we can tell. The prince—it’s like he’s numb all the time. Never changes expressions or seems to feel unless he is killing.” Her round bark-colored eyes sparkled. “But he feels with you, his eyes dance when he looks at you, and he is constantly watching you. If . . . if he bonded with you, then he could ascend and take the throne as king!” She finished excitedly.

The other three had now joined her in quiet harmony as they smiled and whispered excitedly to one another pressed up against me.

So that was why he hadn’t become king. Because no one wanted to be tied to him forever, I certainly wouldn’t blame them for that.

“You are foolish. He doesn’t like me. In fact, he despises me. You do remember he’s trying to kill me with these trials, right? I’m sure there are plenty of shadowy maidens that would love to bond—or whatever—to him.” I pushed back my shoulders and steadied myself for what was to come today, not liking the nonsense they spoke.

I didn’t want to bond to anything. I wanted to go home.

“Oh, there are plenty of women who have tried desperately to claim him, he has never entertained one that we are aware of. He says he will never bond to another and share his powers and will never become king.” Her round eyes drooped in sadness, and a dramatic frown creased her doll-like face. “Though he thinks he will live forever, he will not, and as of now, who knows who or what will take the throne if he is gone! His people need him to remain. With the expelled Fae holding rebellion, it’s trying times to have an empty throne.”

I shook the confusing words from my head. This wasn’t my world, and I wouldn’t get tangled up in any of this. I just wanted to go home.

“I think I should go. I truly am sorry about the troubles you all face, and I hold faith in the hopes that you find a solution that works. Are the guards coming to assist me?” I asked, stepping out of the door to an empty hallway.

Where were my shadow guards?

“No.” She smiled coyly. “The prince said that the guards were futile. That he would find you easily and enjoy the hunt should you try to escape.” She covered her mouth, and I swear a breeze of vanilla cupcake wafted into my nose. “He and the queen are escorting you in the carriage to the Court of Faerie themselves. Good luck.” She smiled, and I found myself cringing away from it.

I stepped into the dark hallway and headed for the grand staircase.

As much as I thought I would hate so much darkness, the castle had a cozy feel as the amber flickers of light cast a warm glow against the dark floors and walls. Maybe I should paint my rooms at home black if I returned.

I had to clutch the banister at the top of the stairs and close my eyes.

Home.

What if I didn’t survive the trial today? What if I never made it home again? Never got to see Willow Springs or Earl again? I would never see Dorothy the turkey or the cabin I had so newly called home.

I stepped onto the dark wood of the first step, trembling.

This was real.

I could easily die today.

My chest tightened, and the crimson fabric sparkled with my quickened breath as I clutched the iron balusters fighting to keep upright, but failing as I dropped to sit on the step.

I couldn’t do this—I couldn’t.

A solid hand gently pressed against my lower back.