Page 63 of Can you take it?

We walked over as my mind swirled, not knowing what was going to happen or what to do.

Sure enough, out of nowhere, an intricate iron door stood in the middle of the forest behind a small, raised garden bed framed in with sticks and brambles. Had I not known better, I would have thought it was a decorative door. For a moment, I wondered if we’d been tricked and this really was just garden decor, as I could easily see straight through to the other side.

“I’m staying,” said Bexley. Eletha nodded.

“You can’t stay,” Anna said. “Come on, this is the time.

We’re going to get you clean.”

He grumbled something under his breath.

Panic had begun to grip me. I couldn’t let them stay trapped here, but I needed to get out. I grabbed the door, unable to resist, and opened it to see what would be on the other side. Nothing changed. As the door swung open, I saw the forest on the other side exactly as it was.

“You have to make your choices before anything will change,” Bexley grumbled, crossing his arms.

“If anyone should get to go through, it should be me,” I snapped. “I came here alone. You guys followed me. I’m the only one who really wants to go through. Just let me through!” My eyes flicked to Anna and I realized that this might actually work in my favor. If I left first, she would be so driven to catch me and the pendant that she would not only find a way out for herself but find me and hopefully, by then, I would be in the Elysian Fields.

“What?” Anna said. “You’re just going to leave? Why should it be you?”

“Oh, you want to go by yourself?” I said.

“Yeah, give me the pendant and I’ll go by myself,” she said. “What about you two?” I snapped at Walter and Eletha.

“Who do you vote to leave?”

“We think Anna should go through,” they both mumbled in unison.

“Ha!” she shouted at me.

“What?” I couldn’t believe them. “Why would Anna go through?”

Walter shrugged. “Well, because Kaohs needs her to help run things and it is her pendant.”

“And I’m the one tied to them. Doesn’t it matter at all what I want?” I yelled.

“You have to vote, and it can’t be for yourself,” Anna said to me with a wide grin.

“Well, so do you,” I returned. Our bodies angled at each other as if there were a possibility one of us might pull a weapon on the other. “Aaagh!” I hollered, feeling as if steam were about to rush out of my ears. Why did everything have to be so confusing? I didn’t have time to be hung up on a woman right now. My future was hanging by a thread. “You will all vote for me to leave so that I can get the fuck out of here! I am done with all of this!”

Everyone stared but Bexley, who had busied himself picking berries from the patch and placing them in the hammock of his shirt. It felt good to let a bit of anger loose, so I continued. “My life has fallen apart and I don’t even know who I am anymore.” I typically wasn’t so vocal about my inner turmoil, but for some reason, I couldn’t shut up and the words kept falling from my mouth. “I don’t want to hear your diagnosis about why you think I want to be loved or helpful,” I snapped at Anna. “No one has my back, not truly.” This one was directed at Walter. “I just want out of this hellhole!” Bexley mumbled something under his breath.

“Well, guess whose fault that is?” Anna said, stepping in front of me. The sun had begun to go down and the dark orange hues from the sky blanketed her face.

I don’t know what happened, but something came over me. I grabbed her and turned her around to face the others, tightening my forearm around her neck. “Everyone vote for me to leave, or I’ll snap her neck.”

Walter held Eletha back from charging me. “He won’t,” he said calmly, glaring at me. “Because one, he is a good man and even good men get confused sometimes. That’s what makes us real and authentic. And two, because if he touches her or anything that belongs to her without her consent, I will personally kill him.” His eyes darkened.

I held strong for another minute before my desperate anger turned to sadness and I dropped my hold on Anna, turning her to face me. Horror washed over me at what I’d just done. I didn’t even know who I was anymore. Was that from the itch or was that a part of me that I’d never known existed until I’d been pushed and pulled like this? I was mortified. “I’m sorry, I would never have hurt you.” I spoke the words directly to Anna with the utmost sincerity. I never could have hurt her, but the fact that I’d even acted like that had me more shaken than if I’d actually hurt her. Who was I?

She was furious. “You volunteered to come here. You chose to tie yourself to my sister. Your prejudice against this place and these people is causing your suffering. No one has your back and why would they? Your family caused two of us to be here and you don’t hear us bitching. You are the decider of your life, so if you’re miserable, blame yourself.”

Needing space from everyone, including myself, I walked off about twenty feet, sat on the ground, and leaned my back against a large ancient-looking tree.

‘Cal?’ I reached out in my mind. I needed to talk to her—I needed a friend.

‘You again,’ Mendax chimed in almost instantly. ‘Great.’

‘Where is Cal? I want to talk to her, now. Tell her to open her mind.’