Page 50 of A Secret In The Garden

“This is my house, damn it! Mine!” he shouted back. “I was at the top when I lived here.”

“Is that why you’re here?” I challenged, taking a step closer to him. Even if he wasn’t in his right mind, I wanted to hit him. Hard. “You need money? What do you want? It will be worth it to get rid of you.”

Eliza took an involuntary step forward. “Jasper,” she warned softly.

Darius’s anger seemed to deflate, the fight draining out of him. “I don’t want your money; I want you to leave this house. Let the earth take it and every spirit that haunts me,” he said, his voice breaking. “I’m here because…because I can’t outrun her anymore. I’m tired of the distance. Tired of the guilt. This is where I belong, where Hester and I belong, where we were happy. You need to leave.”

It felt like an errant rock had lodged itself in my throat.

“After the declaration of my death, they were supposed to dissolve the trust. But they never did. Someone kept paying the property taxes, maybe you?” He gave me a look. “Legally the house still belongs to the trust. And I created the trust. Once I reinstate myself, it’s mine again.”

For a moment, I saw only a broken man. The anger that fueled me for years suddenly felt hollow, replaced by a confusing mixture of pity, anger, and lingering hurt.

Sowerby moved closer, placing a supportive hand on my shoulder. “We will be expecting something from your lawyer,” he murmured to my father. I could tell this was causing him a lot of anxiety as well.

“I want to understand,” I said finally, the words surprising even myself. “I want to know why. Why—how could you leave me?”

The fire flickered in the fireplace, a silent witness to our confrontation.

He nodded, a single tear tracing a path down his tan cheek. “Because I had to,” he whispered. “I had to. Leave before it’s too late for you.”

Frustrated, I shook my head. I had to turn away to collect myself. He couldn’t even give me a real answer after all this time.

The silence that followed my father’s hollow demand sat heavily in the air of the manor. His declarations seemed to shake the very foundation of the estate. I watched as Darius’s figure grew smaller, his silhouette disappearing through the doorway, leaving behind a wake of unresolved tension and unanswered questions.

Eliza approached me cautiously. “Hey,” she said softly, her hand tentatively reaching out to touch my arm. “Are you all right?”

I wasn’t. The confrontation with my father had reopened wounds that had been scarred over. “I’m fine,” I lied, my voice more brittle than I intended.

Sowerby, who had been quiet as he watched Darius leave, now stepped forward. His hand clapped my arm. “There’s a lot more to this than meets the eye, Jasper,” he said cryptically. “Are you all right? I’m going to go call the lawyers now.”

I nodded and watched as he left.

A crimson shadow flickered at the edges of my vision, a brief, almost imperceptible movement that vanished as soon as I tried to focus on it. The scent of women’s perfume permeated the air, the scent snagging on a hook in the recesses of my mind. It smelled like my mother. I jogged to the door to look out the window as the taillights of my father’s car disappeared. I had thought seeing my father had hurt. But feeling my mother’s presence was like being cut into without sedation. Had she been with him and just didn’t want to see me? My teeth ground together until all the muscles in my face were tender and aching.

When Eliza looked at me with a question in her eyes, I just shook my head. “I smelled my mother.” I let out a long sigh. “That didn’t sound creepy.” I winced. “She wore Chanel No. 5, and I just smelled her.” Why did Chanel No. 5 feel so fresh in my mind? Had someone recently talked about it? Worn it? Why did this feel like a full-circle moment suddenly? Did one of the maids wear it?

“Trust me, it’s not as creepy as you might think,” she mumbled, letting out her own long breath. “Well, at least you’re back.”

Her smile felt like the only thing keeping me from losing my mind right then. I wanted to grab ahold of her and pull her into my arms, so there were no gaps between us, but I didn’t. Even though we had somehow managed to get closer since I’d left, seeing her now was all the reminder I needed that I didn’t want to ever cause her any more hurt, and I knew I couldn’t do that while being with her.

“I’m going to go to bed. I’m exhausted. I can’t imagine how you must feel,” Eliza said.

“I’ll walk with you.” Things felt weird between us; it was easier when we knew we weren’t within reach of one another.

Each step we took felt weighted, charged with an electricity that pulsed between us, only adding to my onslaught of emotional turmoil. The adrenaline from seeing my father still coursed through my veins, and I knew I’d either spend the rest of the night in the gym or at the shooting range at the back of the property. If I’d have been a little more of a monster and cared a little less about Eliza, I would have put my feral energy into fucking her into oblivion tonight. I knew she wanted it, but I doubted she could handle me on a normal day, so I knew she couldn’t handle the way I would ruin her while I was angry. No. I wasn’t going to touch Eliza Arnold tonight.

My head swam, replaying everything my father and I had said to one another over and over again.

“Thank you for walking me,” Eliza whispered as we approached her room, her voice barely audible. Her hand brushed mine, sending a current of sensations through my body. I could see the stress still lingering in her eyes. Damn it, she needed to stop touching me before she unleashed the monster inside that would chew her up and spit her out. I wanted to kiss her. The desire burned within me, a raw, primal urge that didn’t care how awkward things were right now. My history of emotional disconnection had always kept me somewhat distant, but something about Eliza broke through those carefully built walls and nuzzled against me. Her vulnerability, strength, and understanding were unlike anyone I’d ever known. I hadn’t wanted to come back while she was still at the manor. I knew how hard it was to keep away from her—it was why I’d left. I felt like a pit bull on a chain trying to keep a barrier between us. I wasn’t a good guy, and she was easy to manipulate.

I watched her closely. I knew everything to do and say to get everything I could want from Eliza if I chose to. I knew what she craved—what she wanted to hear. If I wanted to, I could have her ass up on the bed, milking my cock in the next six minutes.

But that wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted to hurt someone. Badly.

“Good night,” I said, my voice rough. I was acutely aware of how close we were standing and how easy it would be to close the distance between us. God, I wanted to. Not only because I’d been wondering how she would taste for the last few weeks, but because in my current state, I felt reckless. I knew sliding my tongue in her mouth would make me forget everything else in my head. I found myself leaning in.

Realizing what was happening, Eliza hesitated, her breath catching. For a moment, I thought she might say something, might bridge the gap herself as she had stretched up slightly. But then, as if thinking better of it, she stepped back and surprised me by giving me a merciless wink with her hand on the doorknob. “Good night, friend.”