Page 89 of A Secret In The Garden

He let out a sigh. “My biggest regret in life was leaving Jasper and being unable to be here for him. The letters were my only way of making sure his mother and I were still parents to him,” he said softly. “As much as we could be.”

My eyes shifted to the door, but I didn’t move my head. Jasper held a finger to his mouth and disappeared on the side of the doorway, letting me know he was out there but keeping his distance.

“Why didn’t you come back?” I asked after making certain Darius hadn’t seen Jasper.

Everything about the man was instantly lit with frantic energy. “I couldn’t come back. I can’t be here, not with her here. They have to put her back; that was her only wish.” Tears filled his droopy-looking eyes.

“Hester? What was her only wish?” I asked, trying to keep my voice gentle and steady.

“To be buried in her garden. After we found out how sick she was, that was her only request. To be put to rest among the beauty and flowers of her garden. Of course I agreed. I’d have given her anything she wanted. I—I didn’t know what it would do to me.” Tears poured down his red cheeks.

“Hester was sick?” I probed.

He nodded. “She had kidney disease, but we didn’t know it. She—” His sobbing gasps broke his sentence in half. “She kept getting UTIs, and the doctor prescribed her sulfonamides. We didn’t know there was renal impairment, and the drug built up in her system.”

“The sulfonamides?” I encouraged him, needing him to keep talking.

He nodded, wiping his wet face with his shirtsleeve. “She developed sulfhemoglobinemia. It leads to oxygen deprivation. She—she suffocated in her own body.” His voice cracked with cries that tore into my chest, hollowing it out. “They told us the news after they took her blood, and it was tinted green. It was too late.” He crumbled in on himself, covering his face with his hands.

She suffocated in her own body. Her hand around her neck.

Green blood.

The green, coppery-scented liquid that had leaked from her locket.

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered, moving to rub his back gently.

The words flowed out of him like a river now. “She had been doing pretty bad and knew the day she was dying. She told Jasper goodbye. We hadn’t had enough time to warn him. He was just a kid, and his mother died. She was the love of my life; I didn’t know what to do without her. I was supposed to tell Jasper and soften it, but I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t stay with her gone. All I wanted to do was make her last wish happen and bury her in the garden,” he whimpered. “I panicked that if anyone found out, they’d move her.”

Oh my god.

“Jasper didn’t know she died.”

“Hester and I agreed: Jasper was a loose cannon and was having a hard enough time with other issues. She didn’t think he could handle it—thought it’d push him over the edge. I was going to tell him after she passed, but I—I fell apart. I thought I could handle her body being in the conservatory; I thought it would be comforting to have her still with me, but I couldn’t. I lost a part of my soul that day. Everywhere I turned, the grief of her being gone was too much. I saw her at my bed, in the halls, in the same red dress I buried her in—her favorite one. I couldn’t take it. The next thing I knew, I woke up and was on the other side of the country.”

“Oh my god.”

“If her death had done that to me, I knew the kid didn’t have a chance—he didn’t even know she was sick. No one did. I’d built the plant in town to test some new medical advancements, and we were hopeful that they would work. Instead the plant leaked and ruined everything. Caused her so much stress and worry. All our money went into testing for a cure. I decided it was easier that Jasper hate us for leaving than grieving like I was. It was all too much. I just couldn’t bring myself to tell him she was gone forever. I still don’t believe it myself some days. I was too cowardly to return until I heard about the renovations to the conservatory. I had to come back and make sure she was left in peace.” He began to pace erratically. “You don’t understand; she’s my entire world. The only thing I promised her is broken now. She’s not in her garden; they took her.” He had moved out to the balcony and was frantically pacing near the edge.

Jasper entered the room, just out of Darius’s view.

“You need to tell the police what happened, so no one gets in trouble. They think Jasper killed her. Talk to them; they’ll understand,” I said, trying to calm him as he continued to freak out. His words became so jumbled and erratic that I couldn’t understand him anymore. I was worried he was going to jump.

I looked at Jasper with wide, panicked eyes.

“It’s no good now. They moved her. They moved her from her resting place. I came to tell Jasper that I was sorry and that I loved him. I need to go with her. I can’t do life any more without either of them in it. I can’t do it,” he rasped through tears. He stopped and turned, pressing his body against the railing.

“You don’t have to; come back this way,” Jasper said, suddenly standing in the open doorframe just inside the room.

“Jasper,” his father whispered, crying harder.

“Come inside,” Jasper said, and I felt the emotions ripple through his deceptively calm voice.

“I didn’t know what to do…” Darius trailed off, looking completely broken.

Movement passed behind me. Two deputies stood at the door.

“I know you didn’t,” Jasper’s voice cracked. “Come over here; let’s talk about it.”