Page 56 of A Modest Independence

Tom laughed softly. “Here,” he said, stopping near the rail. “I brought something for you.”

She let go of his arm, watching as he reached into the pocket of his gray woolen topcoat. “What is it?”

He withdrew something and placed it in her palm, closing her fingers around it. It was round and firm, with pebbled skin.

Her lips tilted upward. “An orange!”

“One of the last we took on board at Malta.”

“Thank you, Tom. How very thoughtful.”

“Would you like me to section it for you?”

“I can manage.” She set to work at once. Within seconds, the fragrance of freshly peeled orange swirled deliciously about them. They shared the sections, eating them in contented silence as the sea breeze ruffled their hair. When they’d finished, Tom gave Jenny his linen handkerchief to clean her hands. “They’re very sticky,” she said.

“And very sweet.”

“Wonderfully sweet.” She handed him back his handkerchief as they resumed their walk. “I apologize for being greedy. I didn’t finish my dinner.”

“I noticed.”

“You notice everything.”

“An irritating habit of mine.” Tom thrust his hands into his pockets. “Jenny…”

“Yes?”

“You need to prepare yourself for the very real possibility that Giles is dead.”

Jenny’s spirits sank. The orange, it seemed, was only a bribe. A bit of sweetness to leaven the grim conversation to come. “I’m prepared enough.”

“Are you? It doesn’t appear so. The closer we get to India, the more often I see you distracted. Troubled.”

“If I am, it’s not over myself. It’s Helena that worries me.”

“What about her?”

“Isn’t it obvious? She wants to find him so badly. She’s never lost hope that he’s still out there somewhere. If we discover undeniable proof that he’s dead, she’ll be devastated. And when I think of all that she’s already endured—”

“None of which was your fault.”

“Of course not, but I saw what the loss of her brother did to her. It wasn’t right or fair. She’s one of the finest people I know. The first person I could truly call my friend. If I can repay her in some small way—”

“Lady Helena doesn’t expect repayment from you. She’d be offended at the very thought. She gave you an independence to set you free, not to put you in her debt.”

Jenny knew he was right. Even so… “I don’t know what I would have done if I hadn’t been hired as her companion. My life would have been so very different. She never intended to exact any payment from me, it’s true. She would, as you say, be appalled at the very idea of it. But I do owe her, Tom. I owe her everything. It’s both a blessing and a burden. You can’t imagine what it’s like.”

“Oh, can’t I?” He gave a short laugh. “Would you like to know how many times Alex Archer took a thrashing for me during my years in the orphanage? Or how many times Thornhill intervened when I was being bullied by the other boys? Without the pair of them to protect me, I daresay I might have died.”

Jenny stopped where she stood, turning to look at him. “What?”

He came to a reluctant halt, facing her. “I was the smallest and thinnest among us. Not strong enough to withstand the beatings and the deprivations.”

“They beat you?” She couldn’t conceal her dismay. “And what do you mean by deprivations? What were you deprived of?”

Tom said nothing for a long while. When he finally spoke, his voice was brusque. Businesslike. “It was food, mostly. Cheevers withheld it for the smallest infraction. He didn’t like children. He ran the orphanage only because Sir Oswald appointed him to the post. The entire enterprise was badly mismanaged. The bread moldy, the mattresses ridden with insects. The worst part—” He broke off, his jaw clenching. “The worst part was that Cheevers wouldn’t allow fires in the dormitories. During a particularly harsh winter, a boy froze to death in his bed. Many a night after that, I feared I would suffer the same fate.”

Emotion welled in Jenny’s chest. She felt her lips tremble. “Oh, Tom. I can’t imagine. It all sounds so horrible.” She touched his sleeve. “But you survived it. You made it through somehow.”