Page 113 of Paper Horses

I missed Hudson, but this time it wasn’t the safety I missed, it was everything he encouraged me to be. Me. The free spirit, the artist, the woman who loved to speed across the ranch on horseback and laughed when she won the race.

I had sent him the journal, hoping he understood why I hadn’t reached out yet. That he would know I was working on myself so I would no longer be afraid to let him love me. I’d filled another journal with memories from childhood and an entire sketchbook with sketches of the ranch that I’d pulled from my mind but those I kept, waiting until I had things in place to show him. Because those I wanted to share in person when I arrived at his door in three days with the plans for the renovations to the ranch and the start dates. Everything was in place. The crew would start the following week, and Gabe and Tori had booked tickets to their first horse auction, an event I was hoping Hudson would attend with me in tow.

“Hey,” Gabe said, knocking on my office door.

“Hey, I was just getting ready to come see you. I have the final pieces all set for the ranch and wanted to review them with you.”

“Don’t worry about it. This is your project. Whatever you and Hudson want to do, I’ve got your back.”

I sat back in my chair, giving him a smile, something I was doing more often and had found I actually liked unless I was staring an arrogant male business owner down who assumed I was a woman and wasn’t lethal.

“So, Tori and I were talking, and we think your idea needs to be tweaked.”

“How so? I figured in enough time to ensure I’m here on a regular basis.”

He took a seat, leaning forward with his hands clasped. “The ranch is an extensive project. One that will need you to be hands-on. Why not establish a base in Montana? You can lead a team there instead of having to travel back and forth like you proposed.”

My forehead furrowed as I contemplated his words. My plan was to live on the ranch and commute once a week to New York, keeping my suite as my base for the days I’d need to be here or any time Hudson wanted to come with me to visit his brother.

I wrung my hands as excitement tingled through me. I was antsy to get back to him. To tell him I was no longer afraid and that we could make this work because it was worth fighting for.

“Gabe, I need to be here.”

“I know, but think about it. We could expand our real estate holdings to the west, maybe even change it up and add more ranches to our portfolio. Buying up the ones that developers are ready to bulldoze for cookie-cutter, quick-build developments.” He rubbed the back of his neck, taking on that serious expression that told me he was three steps ahead of this idea and he’d thought through every possible aspect. “Do some good with our money.”

“We do good with it. Just last night you made me attend that charity ball, or did you forget?”

“You love those things.”

But not this time. It only reminded me how lonely I was and how bland my life had been before Hudson came back into it.

“I’m just saying we donate all the time.”

“Yeah, but we could actually see what our money was doing with this project. And it would allow you to spend more time in Montana, without as much travel.”

“You trying to get rid of me?” I asked.

“No,” he replied with a chuckle. “I’d miss you, so would Tori and Reid.”

I let out a sigh, looking around the office that had been my home since I’d earned my way to the position my father had always dangled in my face. Leaving New York part-time had been a tough decision, but leaving it permanently…could I do that? I thought about Hudson and how happy I was with him.

“Let me think about it. Maybe let me get back to Montana first and see if he’ll even want me back after I left him again.”

“He will. You said you left it open. That it wasn’t really goodbye.” He rose, smoothing out his jacket.

Was that what I’d done? I could only hope that’s how he’d seen it. As a temporary break while I got my shit together.

My phone buzzed, and I peeked down to see that it was Bruce, the front desk guard.

“Take it. I’ve got to make a quick call before Tori and I head out early. You sure you don’t want to go to Connecticut with us?”

“Four days with your in-laws is enough to make my smile disappear, and I just started enjoying it.”

His laugh trailed him out of the office as I answered my phone.

“Miss Icinda, there’s a gentleman here to see you.”

“And?” My tone was sharp. Just because I was working on my demeanor didn’t mean I always needed to be nice.