Page 39 of Paper Horses

My insides tumbled over each other as they knotted. There was no describing what those words did to my body.

I pulled his other shoe off, then his sock as the heat between my legs had me shifting my weight. His smirk told me he knew exactly why I’d done it, and I smacked his foot before I crawled back to sit beside him.

“What now?” he asked. “Because my suggestion sounds more satisfying than this.”

I glowered at him, which only made him laugh. Leaning my head back, I closed my eyes and sank my toes into the grass. He was quiet, his laugh fading. The sound of chatter from the other students, cars passing by a few streets up, a bird flying overhead, and the wind rustling in the trees took up the space where his silence fell.

His eyes were on me. There were times when he was pensive. A stillness would come over him, the intensity making his eyes darken. Like the burdens of his life found him, strangling him like they did me. Together we mostly ran from those burdens, but when we were apart, mine found me and buried me again. I wasn’t so sure his didn’t do the same. With a mother who owned one of the most successful consulting firms in the country, she expected him to take over the company just like my father did with Gabe. Me, I was an obstacle my father had gotten around with an offer of COO, but Gabe was his favorite child. The prodigy who would take over when he retired.

And Hudson was that for his mother, only he wanted to be anywhere but in a boardroom.

I peeked my eyes open, seeing how his irises were like mocha. He gave me a crooked grin, the steely gaze disappearing.

“You know you’re the most gorgeous thing out here, right?”

I tossed my hair back. “Maybe.”

He snorted and lay back on the grass, so I snuggled into his body, loving the weight of his arm around me.

“When we’re married, I want you to continue running in the grass barefoot and laughing in the sunlight. I want to dance with you in the rain⁠—”

“That’s cliché.”

He peered down at me. “Then I want to twirl you around in snowstorms.”

A laugh bubbled up from me. “That’s better.”

“On our farm with the horses behind us.”

“How many horses?”

“As many as you want,” he said, kissing my head. “Just never stop being you, Olivia. The girl who jumps at thunder, who takes her shoes off to run through the grass, who laughs at my silly jokes, and…”

He stopped, his hand holding mine tight, and I snuggled further into him, finishing with, “And loves you so irrevocably that her heart would stop beating if she ever lost you.”

“Yeah, that,” he said, pulling me closer. “Because without you, Olivia. I would cease to live. Life would be nothing more than a series of steps without the grass and the laughter, and I don’t think I could survive like that.”

A gust of wind sent my hair tumbling into my face, and I pushed it back, dropping my eyes from Hudson as he stepped away from me, tucking his hands into his pockets. Memories. Stupid, obnoxious memories. They wouldn’t stop. After years of hiding them behind barriers that only grew faulty on days I couldn’t avoid—Hudson’s birthday, our anniversary, the day we met—they had found a weak spot in my defenses.

He cleared his throat and turned toward the land.

“Tell me your thoughts,” he said. “Where you’re thinking of adding.”

Hands freeing from his pockets, he crossed his arms. His thick forearms bulged below his flannel shirt.

I took a step, closing my eyes and relishing the smooth touch of the grass below my feet. There had always been something freeing about Hudson. He was so grounded in the outdoors, and his relationship with it had infected me. I tipped my head as the breeze wafted across my face. How long had it been since I’d taken the time to enjoy the silence? I had spent my years trying to block it out because it let in too much pain.

Opening my eyes, I looked out at the land, seeing the horses to my right, behind the only fenced-in section of the ranch. I recalled the farm Hudson had worked on in our youth, where he would take me horseback riding. Every weekend, when he finished working, we would go out. Spending the day together. Just us and the gentle strides of the horses, the quiet of the world enveloping us like a safety blanket.

“Well,” I stepped forward, envisioning what this ranch could be. The potential he must have seen when he bought it. He’d taken on too much, so his dream had never taken form. I knew it was still there, and I understood it like it was my own. Because I had lain next to him, listening to his voice lull me into a state of peaceful calm as he told me about it. A horse farm that would be the go-to spot for the best horses. Breeding, training, and learning. His vision was grand, but that was Hudson. “We would extend the stables. Add enough to house twenty horses.” I glanced over at him, seeing him shake his head.

“Too many for me to be hands-on. Start smaller. Maybe three more. Add from there once word spreads. That’ll mean training new hands to handle what I can’t.”

“A team of trainers, all taught by you. The premier place to earn experience.” I bounced on my toes. “Oh, Hudson, that’s it! Not only a place to train the horses but to train the trainers.”

His fingers raked through his hair, the sun lighting strands to a golden hue. “I don’t know about that, Olivia. I haven’t trained a horse in years.”

With my hands on my hips, I marched over to him, looking between him and the two horses in the field.