Page 43 of Paper Horses

“But you and Hudson…” He stopped as my face contorted, twisting with the agony that had been convulsing in me with each day closer I came to graduation.

“Can’t be. Just like you can’t have anyone. Promise me, Gabe. If I give him up…” My voice cracked, and I looked away from him, fighting the burn behind my eyes. I wouldn’t cry because I didn’t cry. Somehow my father would know and use it against me. “…you and I remain unattached until this is over. That keeps us free to put our full attention toward the plan and satisfies the conditions of the trust.” Which is why I hadn’t brought Hudson home since my freshman year. There were so many insults from my father after Hudson left, the accusations that I was doing just what he thought I would, throwing away my opportunities and proving that I wasn’t as dedicated as Gabe was. I was never enough, and having a boyfriend was proof that I would fail him.

“Are you sure?” Gabe asked.

“Yes, can you do the same? Promise me there will never be anyone serious to jeopardize what we’re doing?”

“I promise, Liv. This is for Mama and for you.”

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “You’ve done enough for me. This is for Mama.”

He gave me a small smile before he stood and stretched. “Gotta get moving. The market opens in thirty minutes, and I need to check the futures to get a feel for any opportunities for the portfolio.”

“That’s some spring break, dork.”

He snorted. “No distractions, remember.”

I chuckled, my eyes slipping to the horizon as he walked away.

“No distractions,” I whispered, hearing my voice fracture. Only two months to stay in the safety of Hudson’s arms, the fairy tale world that I’d built with him. It would all come tumbling down on me and leave him hurt. But that wasn’t the whole truth because I suspected it would leave him devastated and me so wrecked I would never be the same.

“Nice of you to finally wake up.” My eyes flicked to see Hudson sauntering toward me. Behind him, the horses grazed, and above him dark clouds sat, brooding and intimidating like the storm that sat in his eyes. His defenses were up again, and I couldn’t blame him. I just wished I could keep mine up. “You spend every day like this? Sleeping until ten, then sitting around while the rest of us work?”

“I pay you, remember? That means you work and I get to sit around and watch.”

His lips turned downward, the intensity in those brown eyes leaving them on the cusp of black. He pulled his hat off and ran his fingers through his hair, mussing up the blond strands. My fingers twitched at the thought of plunging into them. A flash of him on his knees while I tugged handfuls of hair entered my head, and I looked away from him.

He came up the steps of the porch and stood over me.

“You eat?”

“Do you ever form full sentences?”

There was a tick in his jaw before he said, “Only when you’re not around. Did you eat something?” Pinching the bridge of his nose, he added, “I don’t know why I even care.” He walked away from me, heading back down the stairs. “Get your boots on and help me get ready for the storm.”

“I’m here to evaluate, not to work.”

He stopped in his tracks, whirling around and glaring at me. “Get your damn boots on and meet me in the barn. I don’t give a fuck why you’re here, but you are, and I’m going to use the extra hands.”

“Language,” I snapped, rising and tugging the blanket to me before grabbing my coffee so roughly that it sloshed around.

“Still not comfortable with a man who swears?” he asked, taunting in his tone that had me looking back at him.

I didn’t have an answer for him because he was the only man I knew who regularly swore, and it did something to me every time he did. That was Hudson, rough and brittle to my soft and delicate. And without him to balance me out, I’d built defenses to protect that side of myself.

Turning from him, I went inside the house, ready for this emotional storm to stop. Why hadn’t I simply insisted we focus on the business instead of having these moments where familiarity eased its way between us? That’s what I should have done. Focus when I was in his presence and stay out of his way until the plane returned for me. One more day.

Thunder rumbled in the distance as if in answer. I left my coffee on the island and the blanket on the couch before I ran upstairs. Grabbing my phone, I dialed Gabe.

“Hey,” he said, and I fought my grin. He sounded so relaxed now. So happy, and I had to give the credit to Tori. She and Reid were his world, and I was glad he was finally smiling again.

“Hey. What time is the plane scheduled tomorrow?”

A pause had my nerves jumping.

“Well, I was going to call you about that.”

I pinched my forehead between my fingers. “If you say it’s the stupid storm, I will reach through this phone and strangle you.”