Page 59 of Paper Horses

“That’s not true,” she said, avoiding my gaze.

I took her chin and forced her to look at me. “Say it again.”

“It’s not…” She stopped, her eyes misting, and I saw her fighting it, her features hardening, icing over as if showing me she was soft would damage her. And perhaps that’s what she’d been doing for the past fifteen years, burying her emotions just like I had, but with me it simmered in constant grumpiness, where for her it was cold and distance.

“You don’t need to do this.”

“I do,” she mumbled, trying to break from my hold. I pushed her back to the door, stepping completely into her space. “This can’t work. We’ll just end up hurt again. I…I can’t do it, Hudson.” A fracture in her voice softened me.

“We’ll make it work.”

Her eyes jumped back to mine, and I loosened my grip on her, still pinning her to the door with my body.

“I promise you, Olivia.”

“We lead different lives. In different states. Too much time has passed.”

“And you think what? That I ever forgot what it was like to touch you? That I erased the hues of your eyes from my memory, the sound of your laugh, the way your smile makes my chest tight like it’s about to burst? Do you think any of that faded or ever will?”

Her bottom lip quivered, and she looked away from me, a tear sliding down her cheek as her jaw went rigid. I smoothed it away with my finger, remembering how she never cried, not even when her mother died. She had clung to me, curling into my body as if it were the only thing keeping her alive, but there had never been tears.

“When was the last time you cried, Olivia?” Because in the kitchen, it was almost like a dam had released.

“Men don’t cry, so I don’t.”

I forced her face back and leaned my forehead against hers. “The day you left me, I cried like a baby. For days I couldn’t stop, the ache was too great.”

A shaky inhale, and her fingers spread over my chest.

“It was the worst day of my life, and I’ve never cried so hard. So don’t tell me men don’t cry.”

Misty hazel, surrounded by thick lashes, held my gaze. “But I don’t.”

Her answer was like the strike of a lash, splitting my soul in two, and I wanted to shake the life out of her father for doing this to her.

“Maybe not there, not in New York where there’s no one there to catch your tears. But I’m here, and I promised you long ago that I would never let anything hurt you. I’ll be your strength, Olivia, if you’ll just let me.”

Her lips parted, and more tears welled in her eyes, making them shine. “I’m so tired.”

“I know.” And I’d seen it. The deep sleep, how easily she drifted off. Because she felt safe here, and I didn’t want her to ever suffer again. I scooped her into my arms, carrying her back to my room. Sitting on the side of my bed, I held her against my chest, her tears soaking my skin as she set them free. It broke my heart just as it had in the kitchen, and I kept her there, being the strength she needed to let herself be weak for once. To not hold the weight of the world on her shoulder or be someone she wasn’t.

When her body stopped shuddering, I continued to hold her, stroking her hair and inhaling the hint of jasmine. Outside, rain lashed against the windows. The storm hadn’t ceased, and I didn’t want to consider the damage that awaited me.

“I tell you what. You curl back into the bed.” I tugged at her towel. “Take this thing off first.”

She lifted her head, her eyes puffy and red, her cheeks wet. I kissed her nose and wiped the tears away.

“No more thinking about what could happen when the storm ends or…” I swallowed back the pressure building in my throat. I didn’t want to think about what she’d said. About our different lives or the miles that separated us.

“Okay,” she said, bringing my face closer, her lips brushing over mine. Currents jolted through me, and I brought her further against me, swiping my tongue to meet hers as my body came back to life.

“Shit, Olivia,” I growled as her towel fell open.

“That’s still a swear,” she mumbled, a smile forming. “And I don’t think I like it as much.”

Nipping at her lower lip, I flipped her onto her back, cupping her breast, its weight doing nothing to calm my body.

“Then I’ll stick to fuck,” I said, dragging my mouth down her neck and suspecting if I didn’t stop myself, I’d never make it out of the house. “Now get that sexy body under the sheets and stay there.”