Page 23 of Check You Out

I ball my hands into fists and chew on my lower lips. “We got the same answer from Mayor Harrington.” Defeat builds in my stomach. “If we can convince the County Council to reject the budget, will you propose a new budget where the library stays open?”

He looks at me for a long time. The clock on the wall ticks, and we just stare at each other. Finally, he says, “It’s not that I don’t want to. But it’s going to be really hard.” He gestures to a binder nearby. “If I keep the library, then I have to cut something else. We could cut from the fire department.” He grabs the binder and starts flipping through it. I peer over the desk and spy charts and spreadsheets. “But what if there’s a major fire? We won’t have enough firefighters and then have to asks Howard to help us.” He makes a face. “I hate those guys.”

I swallow but don’t say anything. Fighting the bile, I wonder if perhaps I was wrong in coming here, not only is it a waste of time, but I’m losing faith that keeping the library open is possible.

Stephen looks at me with a raised eyebrow. “This process is so difficult. We spend months analyzing and reviewing past budgets. I’ve got a whole team of budget specialists. They know what they’re doing and we don’t make mistakes.”

My gaze travels around the practically brand-new office and the breathtaking view. “What about the office? Could renovations wait a year in order for the budget crisis to fix itself?”

He chuckles. “Charlotte, I feel guilty saying this, but we shouldn’t even be in here. There’s asbestos, and mold, and probably all sorts of horrible chemicals that we shouldn’t be breathing. The renovations are necessary for the safety of the workers. I’m trying to get the building department to declare this facility as condemned so we can move temporarily into another building.”

“Oh,” I reply. “If we shouldn’t be sitting in here, why’d you meet me here?”

“I have to use this office until I can get this building condemned.” He flashes one of those “what are you gonna do” looks. “There’s a lot of red tape I have to follow.” He flips through the pages of the binder again. “We might be able to cut the budget from one of the high schools. There’s at least one that will soon break ground on a new renovation that can wait a few years.”

Guilt washes through me.

Am I wrong to want to keep the library open?

I watch as he flips through the pages in the binder, hiding the inner turmoil in my mind.

Even if the council rejects his budget, there’s no guarantee that the library will stay open. There are so many other areas and projects that need money. Will our small-town library just be forgotten amid the sea of squeaky wheels?

He looks up and studies me for a few seconds. “Are you ok, Charlotte?” Stephen asks in a gentle voice, breaking my thoughts.

I nod. “Yes. I just didn’t realize just how complicated this all is.”

He leans back in his chair and flashes a toothy grin. “Yeah. It is pretty difficult. There are so many things that you have to consider, and of course, everyone has their own agenda. But I learned a lot about budgeting when I worked in the Governor’s office, and I’m pretty good at it. They called me, the ‘Budgetser’.” He rises from his chair and guides me to my feet with his hand on my elbow.

“Well, Charlotte, it was really nice catching up,” he says with that honey slick voice. “But I’ve got another meeting right in,” he checks his watch, “five minutes. I’ve gotta run. Thanks for stopping by! Say hi to your parents for me. Tell your dad I still think about his class!”

The door closes behind me, and I’m left alone in the lobby. That fake ocean candle scent burns in the back of my throat. A foreboding sense of failure and guilt settles over me. I thought this was my shot to leverage a connection that could save the library without a long, potentially drawn-out fight, and it’s a dead end.

Taking a deep breath, I adjust my purse on my shoulder and mentally decide which flavor of ice cream I’m going to pick up on the way home for my wallow session.

I’ll be strong tomorrow, but today, I will feel sorry for myself.

Once I get into my car and away from the overpowering smell of jasmine, I replay the conversation in my mind and think about what was said, specifically what Stephen said. After a few minutes of feeling the air through my vents shift from hot to cool, something clicks in my mind.

“Did I fuck this up?” I ask my stuffed dragon sitting in the little cubby hole of my car’s center console. I call him Tairn, after the dragon from Fourth Wing, while Nicole calls him Leonard.

Tairn doesn’t respond. For the umpteenth time, I wish he was real.

“Motherfucker,” I scream and slam my fist against the steering wheel. A fire breathing dragon would solve most of my problems.

He didn’t even know that my dad died.

My mind keeps churning. What if Stephen Gott kept on deflecting and talking in circles because he either doesn’t care or worse, doesn’t want to keep the library open? It seems weird that he was so adamant about renovating those stunning offices. But then, what do I know about buildings? Perhaps there is some mold or gross stuff underneath the carpets and in the walls.

Regardless, it doesn’t change the fact that the Save The Library Committee has its work cut out.

10

Aidan

38 Days until the Council Meeting

“Want another espresso martini?” the bartender of The Food Market in Columbia asks as I glance up from my copy of Winging It With You by Chip Pons.