Page 109 of Point of Contact

Ignoring him, Trevor rubbed a circle over the tense muscle. “Jesse, c’mon. What is this really about? Talk to me.”

At the touch and quiet words, the dam broke, fear and anxiety surging through him. “What if your friends think I’m not good enough for you?” he choked. “What if they make you choose? I don’t want you to lose anyone else in your life, Trevor, especially not because of me.”

Jesse clenched his fists, hearing Trevor’s swift intake of breath. “Don’t you know I’d rather have you than a thousand Lyle and Bills?”

“And why’s that?” Jesse couldn’t stop himself. “Because with me around, you feel closer to Riley?”

At that Trevor froze, his hand dropping away. Jesse held his breath through the charged, miserable silence that followed.

“Would you please turn around,” Trevor finally said, “and look at me?”

Steeling himself, Jesse turned.

Trevor’s eyes were glistening with tears, but his gaze was steady, direct. “Remember how I told you once that relationships aren’t black and white?” He waited until Jesse gave a jerky nod. “It’s true, and I need to be honest. Would I be standing here with you now if Riley hadn’t died? No.”

Jesse blinked rapidly, his own eyes burning.

“Is part of the reason I am standing here now because of your connection to Riley? Yes.” He took a deep breath before reaching out to take Jesse’s cold hands in his own. “Sometimes when you touch me, I can’t help but think that these are the same hands that comforted my dying son in his last moments.” He lifted Jesse’s fingers to his lips. “You were there for him when I couldn’t be. You said goodbye to him when I wasn’t able to.”

A lone tear slid down Jesse’s cheek.

“But that’s only one part of the reason I’m standing here.” Trevor brushed the tear gently away with his thumb. “The other part is you. Your kindness. Your patience. The way you make me feel cherished and safe. The way you’ve helped me find some hope again. That means more to me than you’ll ever know.” His throat worked as he swallowed hard, obviously fighting not to cry.

With a ragged exclamation, Jesse slid his arms around Trevor’s waist and drew him close.

Trevor buried his face in the curve of Jesse’s neck, taking deep breaths in and out. “So maybe our relationship isn’t black and white, Jess. Maybe others won’t understand it, and they’ll try to judge us. Let ’em. They don’t know us.”

Closing his eyes, Jesse smoothed his hands up and down Trevor’s back. “No, they don’t know us.”

They’ll never know what we’ve been through.

Pressing his lips to the hollow of Jesse’s throat, Trevor whispered, “One more thing. I’m pretty sure I’ve fallen in love with you, and God, that’s such a terrible, terrible thought.”

A mixture of confusion and joy swirled through Jesse. “Terrible?” he croaked. “Why?”

“Because I have no idea who I am,” Trevor admitted, stringing tiny little kisses along Jesse’s collarbone, “or what I’m doing. I can’t help but think you deserve better, even if the last thing I want to do is let you go.”

Jesse slid his hands inside Trevor’s robe, running his palms along his ribs to tug him even closer. “Well, just for the record, I’m fucking crazy about you, too, which is why I got scared and then proceeded to act like an asshole.”

Trevor shook his head. “I knew you’d had a bad day, and I just wanted you to relax. Why I thought it was a good idea to spring a dinner party at a stranger’s house on you...” He linked his arms around Jesse’s neck, looking up at him. “I think it’s because sometimes I’m desperate to feel normal again, even though I know that’s impossible.”

“We’ll go to the party—” Jesse began, biting back a groan when Trevor rubbed sinuously up against him, the contrast of his warm skin and the cool satin of his robe making Jesse achingly hard.

“Forget the stupid party. We’ll talk about it later,” Trevor breathed, tangling his fingers in Jesse’s hair and lifting his face invitingly.

Jesse poured everything he could into the kiss—his apology, his emotion, all the words that were stuck in his throat. Trevor answered him in kind, the robe slipping from his shoulders to pool on the floor. Digging his fingers into the cheeks of Trevor’s ass, Jesse pulled him up against him before walking him backwards in the direction of their room.

They stumbled a few times, holding on to each other, laughing, before falling into bed in a tangle of arms and legs. Jesse pushed up on one elbow to look down into Trevor’s face.

“So other than me making love to you right now, where do we go from here?” he asked quietly, brushing a lock of Trevor’s hair off his forehead. He rocked his erection against Trevor’s hip, growling in pleasure when Trevor pulled him flush on top of him and wrapped his legs around Jesse’s waist.

“I don’t know.” Trevor cupped Jesse’s face in his hands. “Maybe...one day at a time? You leave your toothbrush here, come over whenever you want. We spend as much time together as we possibly can. How about that?”

Jesse pretended to consider it, even as a cautious happiness started to bubble in his veins. “I guess it’s a start,” he murmured, leaning down to nuzzle Trevor’s cheek with his lips.

“Gotta start somewhere,” Trevor agreed, his voice warm and husky with arousal. “Like you kissing me.”

“Oh, I can definitely manage that.” He brushed gentle kisses along Trevor’s jaw to his mouth. “Most definitely.”