Page 116 of Point of Contact

Jesse closed his eyes, the sound of his friends’ banter in his ears, hoping Watty was okay out there in the dark. He had a sneaking suspicion he wasn’t far away and was listening to their conversation. Jesse bit his lip. It wouldn’t just be Jesse’s sexual orientation bothering him now, but something else entirely.

His suspicion was confirmed the next morning when they struck camp and headed off down the trail.

“So, did you tell Estes’s dad I killed his son?” Watty’s voice was low and furious. Jesse could see Enriquez whip his head around, and Jesse gave him an unobtrusive stand down gesture.

He looked at Watty. “No,” he said as calmly as he could. “Because you didn’t.”

“If you told him what happened that day, what the fuck else is he gonna think?”

“I didn’t tell him what happened, because he doesn’t want to know.”

Watty’s eyes widened incredulously and he opened his mouth to say something. Jesse cut him off.

“You know why, what he said to me? He said, ‘It played out the way it played out, Jess. Knowing the details won’t change the outcome.’ It’s simple, but true, man. His fight is in learning to live with the fact he’s gone, Watty, same as ours. He’s not blaming anything except the war.”

His lips still set in a hard line, Watty started to stride on ahead, and Jesse called after him, “War is fuckin’ hell, man. It’s hell, and it took Estes, and Patsy, and Miller away. But it didn’t take us. For whatever reason, that fuckin’ Valley didn’t take us, and we owe it to those guys to live our lives in a way that honors theirs.”

Watty stopped walking, his fists clenched at his sides.

“It’s true.” Silvera came up to them, his voice quiet. “There’ve been many days where all I wanna do is suck-start my M4.” He waited until Watkins looked at him before going on. “The only thing that stops me is the thought of Patsy kicking my fuckin’ ass in the afterlife. ’Cause he would. ‘You lived through that shit, Sil, and this is what you do? Fuck you, man.’ So I tell myself I can get through one more day, because I have the life he doesn’t get to have.”

“Is it—” Watkins forced out, clearing his throat. “Is it any better for you, Sil? Does it fuckin’ get better?” His voice was hoarse, anguished.

“Yeah, it gets better, man. I promise you, it gets better. Don’t let that piece-of-shit Valley win.” Silvera slung his arm around Watty’s shoulders. “Come on, let’s go recon for railroad assholes.”

They walked on ahead, talking in low voices that Jesse couldn’t make out, and Jesse dashed the back of his hand impatiently across his eyes.

No way they’d let that fucking Valley win. No way.

* * *

“Take care, brother.”

After one last backslapping hug all around, Jesse got into his truck, sticking his arm out the window in a wave and holding it there as he drove away. He was tempted to head straight to Trevor’s, but when he stopped at a light, he pulled his visor mirror down and gaped in horror at his reflection.

His hair was so dirty and greasy it looked brown instead of blond, and it was matted to his head in several spots. His face sported a ten-day growth of beard, which looked straggly and unkempt, and was that a fucking twig caught in it? Body odor rose from him in a thick miasma, and he groaned, shaking his head in disgust. Nope, he wasn’t going anywhere near Trevor like this.

When the light turned green, he reluctantly took the turn-off for his apartment and spent half an hour luxuriating under the hot spray in his tiny shower, his anticipation over seeing Trevor again after so long making him achingly hard. He filled his palm with body wash and leisurely stroked himself to orgasm, picturing Trevor on his back in their bed, his eyes awash in desire as Jesse made love to him.

Soon.

The drive over seemed to take forever, and Jesse cursed the fucking traffic, at last pulling into Trevor’s driveway just as the sun was setting. He hurried up the walk and let himself into the house, calling Trevor’s name.

“Jess?” Trevor poked his head out of his office, the delighted smile that lit up his face warming Jesse’s heart. He took two giant steps forward and hauled him into his arms, threading the fingers of one hand through Trevor’s hair to anchor him as Jesse ravaged his mouth with his.

“That felt like ten years instead of ten days,” Trevor murmured when they broke apart, and he peppered fervent kisses all over Jesse’s cheeks. “I missed you so much. How was your trip?”

Putting his hands on Trevor’s hips, Jesse walked him backwards in the direction of the bedroom. “Talk later? I feel like a total Neanderthal, but all I can think about right now is sex.”

“Mmm.” Trevor reached down to dig his fingers into Jesse’s ass cheeks. “Right there with you, darlin’.”

Clothes were shed haphazardly and they tumbled naked into bed, where time seemed to stand still as Jesse reacquainted himself with every inch of Trevor’s body until Trevor’s voice turned hoarse and he was glistening with sweat.

Suddenly he rolled over and pinned Jesse to the mattress, kneeing his legs apart and rocking up against him.

“Please, Jess,” he begged in a tone saturated with need. “Please.”

Their eyes locked before Jesse lifted his head to kiss him gently. “Yes.”