Page 66 of Point of Contact

“He was the only one who knew, and the only one I trusted.” Jesse watched his sparkler fizzle out, and with a trembling hand he set the blackened wire stick down carefully with the others collected on the bench next to him. “Considering my job, and the fact I’d be kicked out of the Army if the wrong people found out, well, him knowing was a little bit of safety and sanity for me. I wasn’t so alone anymore. That’s what I meant when I said Riley was there for me in ways no one ever was, even my parents.”

“Oh, Jesse.” Trevor’s voice was hushed. “I don’t even know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything. Just be proud of your son.” He paused, emotion clogging his throat again. “The truth is I have a lot of favorite memories of him, and I could’ve told you something light and funny, ’cause there’re tons of those.” Jesse shook his head. “Jesus Christ, he could be a fuckin’ goof.”

Trevor just looked at him, his eyes shining with unshed tears, waiting for him to finish.

“But what he did that day will have a lasting effect, a positive effect, on my life and I just wanted you to know that.”

“Thank you, Jesse.” Trevor reached out and touched Jesse’s leg. “Thank you. These little glimpses you keep giving me of the man he was helps me more than anything else. I just want you to know that.”

“I do know, and I’m so glad. It’s what he would want.”

Jesse pulled the last two sparklers out of the box and lit them, handing one to Trevor. They sat in silence, watching them burn brightly but much too briefly. As each sparkler finally guttered out, Jesse couldn’t help but think how symbolic it all was, of a shining life over way too soon.

At last they stood and shouldered their packs. As they walked away, first Trevor, then Jesse, turned to look back at the bench, and the cliff, and somehow Jesse knew neither one of them would ever return to this place.

It was a fitting goodbye.

* * *

Jesse ran by the restaurant to drop Trevor off at his car.

“You gonna be okay? I’ll come hang out with you if you don’t want to be alone.”

Trevor shook his head. “I’ll be all right.” He got out of the truck and Jesse followed, walking him over to where he was parked. Trevor turned to him. “Thank you. You got me through a very difficult few hours, and you made me laugh, and let me remember him the way I wanted to. Thank you for being such a good friend to me...and to him.”

“You’re welcome,” Jesse said hoarsely, and before he knew it, Trevor was in his arms. They hugged each other tightly, and at last Trevor pulled away and clicked his car open.

“Call me if you need me,” Jesse said, and Trevor looked back at him.

“Same goes. If you need anything, Jesse, I’m here.” Trevor paused. “What you told me tonight, about yourself, well, thank you for trusting me. I know how big a deal that is.”

Jesse’s lips trembled for just the tiniest instant before he firmed them. “It felt good to share it with someone else I trust.”

“I’m honored. Truly.”

He got into his car with a wave, and Jesse watched until his taillights disappeared around the corner, then headed for home himself. Just as he pulled into his parking space, his phone rang. Jesse grabbed it up and answered it.

“Hello?”

“Byrney?” The voice on the other end of the line was slurred, ragged.

“Who—”

“I killed him, Byrney.” There was a muffled sob. “I killed him.”

“Oh, Watty.”

Jesse rested his forehead on the steering wheel for a moment, then got out of his truck and wandered in the direction of his apartment complex’s playground. It was full dark, no one around, so he sank down onto a bench next to the jungle gym.

“You didn’t kill him, Watty,” he said softly, nausea surging into his throat as the sound of gunshots echoed in his mind, that sickening snap... “The bullet did.”

“But I threw the lighter, and if he hadn’t gone for it, he wouldn’t have been standing right there. Why didn’t I jus’ hand him the fuckin’ lighter instead of throwin’ it? I fuckin’ killed him!”

Watkins wept, hoarse sobs tearing from his chest.

“Watty.” Jesse clenched his hand so tightly on his phone it was a wonder he didn’t crack it. “Come on, man. You know that’s not true. We’d never been sniped from that ridge before. No one expected it or saw it coming. It’s not your fault.”