Page 10 of Bruised Hearts

“I’m not.” I am.

“You are, and I’m telling you to keep it professional. He’s a boxer and nothing good will come from that. You know deep down, he doesn’t give a fuck about you. They never do.”

“It’s not that deep. You asked me to get in his space for him to train me, and that’s what I’m doing. I’ll need a ride to the gym tomorrow. I’m going to bed.” He wore a look of disdain, but I had no idea why. Stone never gave a fuck about me or who I dated. I guess this was another way to control the narrative. Walking in my room, I slammed the door. I wanted to punch something, but there was no bag here.

Getting in my stance, I started swinging at the air. This would have to do. Swinging with full force, I tried to release my anger. Every time I thought I had something, Stone intervened. The more I swung, the more I realized it wasn’t Stone I was pissed at. He just said out loud what I already knew to be true. I let myself believe that someone could see me. Even if it was only for a little while, I couldn’t afford that. Now, it was time for me to remember who the fuck I was and what I was trying to do. I stopped swinging and smiled as I walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. Nova was back.

7- Landon “Breaker” Mercer

POPS: You around here trying to get laid when this all you should be focusing on.

There was a video attached to the text message, and I was annoyed before hitting play. I watched pops chase my moms even though she dogged him out on the air every chance she got. He was at the height of his career, but nobody told him he needed to focus. Now, we did tell him he was dumb as shit, but it had nothing to do with his career. My moms was married, and then found out she hid a child from him. At the end of the day, he did what he thought was best, and it turned out to be the best decision he made besides adopting me. He should be the last person coming at me for chasing a feeling. Knowing it couldn’t be any worse than what he said, I clicked play.

“Listen, I’m not saying he’s a bad fighter. I’m just saying he’s not ready for me. He’s lucky, not a beast.”

“Danger, I can admit luck is definitely on Breaker’s side. He can get pounded on for eleven rounds, and in the last round he finds some kind of monkey strength and pull it off. However, he’s taken down the best fighters in the sport. We have to give him credit,” Jake Morris gave me a backhanded compliment and I shook my head. Danger was giving an interview, and he was talking shit like fighters do. Pops acting like this is something new.

“This ain’t a movie, and Breaker ain’t no Rocky. Taking that many hits only gone get you on the mat like Apollo fucking with me. You know my power, and you all know what I can do. Then minute I’m given the opportunity to be under the lights in the big ring, Breaker ass is gone get broke. Quote that.” Exiting out of the video, I couldn’t control my jawline from jumping. Walking in the gym, I immediately put my gloves on and climbed in the ring.

My trainer knew me well enough where he didn’t have to ask questions. Climbing in with me, he slid on the focus mitts and got into his stance. Giving me the look to let me know he was ready; I began punching hard. My emotions were all over the place, so it was hard for me to get focused; yet I kept going. I needed to release some steam; I didn’t care about my form in this moment.

“You’re fighting angry. Slow it down and throw precise hits. Well, at least that’s what my half ass trainer aka my friend told me.” Hearing her voice immediately calmed me, but I didn’t respond. Taking a moment to breathe, I focused and threw an accurate punch. “Do you mind?” Ariyah came into view and grabbed the mitts from Swift.

“Ariyah, I need a minute. I’ll come holler at you when I’m done with my training for today.”

“No.” She climbed in her stance and put the mitts up. “What you need is an anchor. You were that for me the first day I came in the gym, so I’m going to be that for you now. You know how to fight, but in this moment, you don’t know how to control your emotions. Now, are you going to keep arguing like a girl or get your ass whooped by one?”

“You always gotta do the most. We not even fighting, you holding your hands up hoping I don’t hit too hard.” Before she could respond, I threw a punch hard and fast that knocked her back a couple of steps. As soon as she recovered, I threw two more rights and a left before her feet fully got planted. “You alright over there.” Ariyah swung the mat, but I dodged it while laughing.

“Fuck you, Landon.”

“I told you, your emotions cost you every time. Get them mufuckas in check, or you will never be a pro.”

“You’re a hypocrite. Why is it okay for you and not for me?” Shrugging my shoulders, I swung again.

“I am. However, my emotions landed me the heavy weight title. Where has yours gotten you?” I could see her thinking it over, so I continued to swing. Seeing she didn’t understand what I was saying, I continued. “I have no idea what you have been through in your life, but I do know it’s what’s fueling you. Instead of funneling it into a power punch, you fall apart and get lost in your thoughts. You won’t make it like that. That’s not being emotional, that’s being controlled by emotion. You called me a hypocrite, so that should tell you I’ve fought this fight.”

“You’re calm now, so I think you got it.” Removing the mats, she took them off and walked away. I didn’t go after her because Ariyah needed time to think about what I said. I wasn’t trying to hurt her, but she needed to know the truth. Either she had to learn how to use her past in that ring, or be another person that never reaches their full potential.

Swift was back in front of me with the mitts on, so I nodded. This time, I could see every opening. My mind was finally quiet, and I could do what I came to do. Train. We were going hard, and I could tell Swift and everyone in the gym was impressed. Most of them stopped their training in order to watch. Not Ariyah. Glancing over to her area, I noticed her expression. She was still in her feelings, but she was doing everything that I had taught her. I smiled before turning back to Swift, and was met with a mean right hook that stumbled me back to the ropes.

“She’s a distraction you don’t need. Get your head in the game, and let’s go.” That was the second time I heard that today, but I didn’t have time to argue why they were wrong. Hell, I wasn’t even sure. I just knew what I felt. Shaking off the hit, I got back to training. Once I was done, I saw Ariyah was still here, so I walked over and watched her for a while. Jimmy was doing roadwork with her, and I must say her boxing movements were improving.

“Alright, we gone pick this up tomorrow. I gotta get home to the wife.” Jimmy was wrapping it up, and I didn’t blame him. It was late as hell, and niggas was tired.

“Awww, Jimmy got a curfew. Gone head and put the kids to sleep, I’ll see you in the morning after you cook their breakfast.” Jimmy laughed, but he shrugged his shoulders.

“I’ll choose family life over being alone any day. Waking up to the sound of laughs, chaos, and screaming, that’s waking up to love. Yall have a goodnight.” Jimmy wasn’t trying to take a crack at Nova, but I could see she was offended by his statement.

“You have a bad habit of talking shit, but getting in your feelings when somebody talk it back. You’re a sensitive ass jit, ain’t you?” Ariyah looked at me with a death look causing me to throw my hands up in surrender. “Just an observation. Another thing I observed is that you been in here for hours and haven’t eaten.”

“For somebody that should have been training, you sholl been keeping your eyes on me.”

“You hungry or not? No boxing talk, nothing about the demons from our past, just food. You down?”

“Fine.” Laughing, I followed behind her and walked her out to my car. Titan’s smirk didn’t go unnoticed as we climbed inside. I let her in first before walking around to the other side.

“Where to boss man?”