Page 28 of Bruised Hearts

“Why yall not outside?” Landon walked in and this was what I was trying to avoid.

“Yall making a lot of noise. Gah damn!” Moms woke up out of nowhere.

“Go ask your mama why she not ready.”

“Yall could have drove if yall was going to take all day. I thought you didn’t like bodyguards and drivers?” He was trying to be funny since I made a crack at him before about having them.

“When I’m outside, I move in and out. Your ass about to have us sitting in there for a whole day. I’m trying to see if you brought a couple more people with you.”

“I’m telling Titan you said he ain’t shit and don’t know how to do his job.” Laughing, I thought this would be the perfect time to show him the Tik Tok.

“How about you tell him I still got it.” Pressing play, I waited for him to start talking shit. He smiled as he grabbed the phone from me.

“I’m not gone lie, you move good to be an old nigga, but don’t wear them shoes no more.” I grabbed the phone back and looked at the video.

“What’s wrong with my shoes? Look at how I spun around your ass.” Landon pointed at the screen causing me to laugh.

“Look how them mufuckas folding up. Don’t be mad when somebody clip this video and caption it “What are those?” You make too much money for that.” Snatching the phone back, I couldn’t stop the smile that spread on my face.

“Okay, I’m ready.”

“Bout time,” me and Landon whispered under our breath at the same time.

“Twin-…”

“Shut the fuck up and gone on to your lil interview.” We all laughed at moms as we walked out the door. Titan opened the door, and we all climbed inside. We had small talk as we made our way to the boys and girls club. Landon was mostly trying to go over his speech. I couldn’t help but feel proud as I watched him nervously prepare. When we got there, I let Blaise out first before I turned to Landon.

“Relax. You get to control the narrative. It’s not an interview; you’re just telling your story. Giving kids hope.”

“Aight, thanks Pops.” Smiling one last time, I climbed out of the car. The moment we walked inside, everyone began taking pictures. Jr ran up to Landon and you could see the look of relief on his face.

“Your ass late. I thought you wasn’t coming, and I was gone have to whoop your ass.” Landon laughed hard.

“Hey, lil nigga watch your mouth. I told you I would be here, I never said I would be on time. Where do I sit?” He walked him towards the front, and me and Blaise found some seats in the back. Titan stood off to the side making sure all of us were in his line of sight. I scrolled my phone, until I heard the counselor call for the next person.

“Jr, can you introduce your guest, please.” I looked up and you could see how excited he was.

“He doesn’t need any introduction. The whole world knows who he is. My nigga, Breaker. Oh, and I told yall asses he was coming. Yall-…” Landon snatched the mic with an awkward smile. You could hear him trying to whisper, but the mic caught it.

“I told yo lil ass to watch yo mouth.” Everyone laughed causing Landon to look up. “Sorry about the technical difficulties, but what the lil homie trying to say is, he ain’t got no reason to lie to yall for clout.” Blaise dropped her head in embarrassment, as I smiled with pride. This took me back to our beginning and the feeling it was giving let me know him doing this was right.

“Uhhh ummmm.” The counselor cleared his throat trying to keep this from going left.

“My bad. Yall know me though, and yall know I don’t do the fake shit. We not gone sit in here and act like I’m going to give a pretty speech. If you’re from this neighborhood, then you already know life ain’t pretty.” He grabbed the papers he had and sat them in his seat. I guess he was choosing to speak from the heart.

“It sholl ain’t,” somebody yelled from the crowd.

“Yeah,” was all he said as if he drifted off somewhere mentally. I was about to stand up and walk up there, when he continued. “I know because that was me. A lil jit from the hood without a thought that I might get out. Shit, I was just trying to survive the moment. For me, that was enough.” Landon stopped talking, so Jr passed him a bottle of water. After he took a few sips, he finally continued.

“Survival for most kids in the hood is going out in the morning hoping to make it back in at night. Hoping some rival gang don’t catch them slipping or just getting hit because you were at the wrong place at the wrong time. For me, survival was hoping my mother stayed clean long enough to stop my father from almost killing me. Hoping I would wake up and get to go to school like the other kids. Just wanting to not hurt for one day. Survival wasn’t me outside playing hide go seek. It was me hiding from my father, and hoping I could stay hidden long enough that he passes out.” I could feel myself getting emotional, and Blaise began dabbing at her eyes, so I knew it was getting to her as well. We both knew the story, but it still hurt to hear it. Not only that, he’s never openly told his full story to the media. Standing up, I went into protect mode.

“Son-…”

“I’m good, Pops.” Sitting back down, I let him finish. “I’m not here to make you feel sorry for me, or even tell you what you going through is small compared to what I went through. I’m trying to tell you to find purpose in your pain. Reality is, everyone ain’t gone make it out, but you damn sure not gone do it if you don’t try. That’s how Breaker was born. I didn’t have a story and a dream. I focused my pain and energy, but I was lucky enough to have someone pushing me. For that, I was lucky enough to make it out. It’s not going to always feel like everything you going through has a reason. I remember one night, I was ready to end it all. I was sitting outside wondering how I would do it. A car pulled up and the person driving asked me was I okay.” Hearing him speak about Checkers made me smile.

“I thought about that question and I answered him with a question. Have you ever felt like the only reason for your existence was to be somebody’s punching bag. That nigga told me hell naw.” We all laughed hard. I wiped the tears from my eyes and continued to watch my son with admiration.

“Was this Devin? Is this the night you met?” A reporter asked pissing me off. If he wanted to reveal that, it should have been up to him. However, Landon nodded without hesitation.