Page 16 of Unlock My Heart

“I don’t care for your disrespectful tone. Now is not the time,” she says in a clipped tone. “Your brother is⁠—”

“Dead? Yeah, I know,” I say coolly. “I’m the one who found him.”

Black belt tied to the bathroom doorknob, head lolled to the side, eyes wide and lifeless…

“Girls, it’s time to go,” my dad calls, and the hostilities are put on pause.

We ride to the funeral in unbearable silence, until finally I blurt out, “Was Oliver’s boyfriend notified of the funeral?”

“Oliver didn’t have a boyfriend, and I won’t hear another word about it,” my mom snaps.

“He did have a boyfriend,” I say firmly, refusing to be gaslit about this. “Oliver was gay, and when he was outed, instead of supporting him, you abandoned him.” The biggest scandal of the ward: my eighteen-year-old twin brother was caught having sex with the bishop’s seventeen-year-old son. Word got out, and to save face, the bishop’s son was sent away on a mission, and my brother was painted as the problem.

The pervert. The abomination. The predator.

An investigation was opened. Oliver was excommunicated.

He ended his life three days later.

“Enough!” My dad thunders, and I bite my tongue.

We arrive at the funeral home, as everyone in leadership had agreed church wasn’t the most appropriate setting for the funeral, given the “circumstances.” My feet feel heavy, like my boots are lined with lead as we reach the front row, the closed casket directly in front of us.

A framed picture of a smiling Oliver has my stomach roiling violently.

“I have to go to the bathroom,” I lean over and whisper to my mom, unsure of whether I need to throw up or cry.

Maybe both.

“Hurry up.” She sighs, annoyed. “The service is about to begin.”

With my head down, I walk the length of the aisle, ignoring the feel of eyes on me as I step out of the chapel. Slipping inside the restroom, I enter the last stall and close the toilet lid, taking a seat and tucking my knees to my chest.

The sound of the bathroom door creaking open has me holding my breath. “You know his weirdo twin found him hanging from a belt tied to the ceiling fan.” The caddy voice belongs to the resident mean girl from Oliver’s temple class.

Rage has me flinging the stall door open, and I get in her surprised face. “It was the doorknob, not the ceiling fan. Get your gossip straight.”

“Speaking of straight, are you an abomination like your brother? You going to try and assault me too?” she taunts.

My fist slams into bone and cartilage as her head snaps to the side; the most satisfying thing I’ve ever done.

She shrieks, bringing her hands to her nose that’s gushing blood.

No try about it.

I storm out of the bathroom and into the chapel, marching onto the stage. Ripping the microphone from the stand, it makes a high-pitched squeal as I bring it closer to my mouth.

“My brother, Oliver, is gay. Was gay.” My voice fills the eerily silent room. “He was in a consensual, loving relationship with his boyfriend, but was thrown under the bus by the bishop.” I point to the enraged man in the front row. “By his parents.” I point to my parents, who look like they’re trying to crawl under their chairs. “And everyone in this supposed ‘loving’ church. You excommunicated him, but I’ll go ahead and save you the trouble with me: I hereby excommunicate myself.” Flipping the shocked crowd the middle finger, I toss the microphone to the floor as I storm out of the funeral home.

The spare key to the family vehicle is in my pocket, and having already committed an assault, I figure what’s one more crime. Slamming the door closed, I shift into drive and peel out, making it home in record speed.

Home.

A bitter laugh gets stuck in my throat. This place was never my home.

It looks like a tornado hit my room as I get the last of my belongings packed. With a final glance inside Oliver’s room, I fight back the tears as I walk out.

My mind’s reeling as I drive to the bus station and lock the keys in the car. It’s not grand theft auto if you leave the keys in the vehicle you stole. That’s my logic, anyway.