Page 2 of Unlock My Heart

A cute little dog being walked on a leash perks up my mood. “Hey, puppy,” I call, and the dog and owner pause as I hold out my hand, the dog giving it a sniff. I smile, giving its head a scratch.

My smile fades when I spot the sign announcing the upcoming NOSAD spring fashion show.

Things go from bad to worse when I arrive at my therapist’s office. A feral cat is blocking the lobby entrance. It’s doing nothing nefarious, other than choosing this particular spot to groom. But my palms become sweaty as the cat rises and stretches its back, sauntering to the alley.

The alley.

My dress soaked from the rain.

A cat startling me.

My body freezes as fear wraps its cold hand around my throat.

I can’t breathe.

My head spins as I try to swallow a breath, but the more I try, the more oxygen eludes me. My heart pounds wildly as panic cripples me.

This is a panic attack. I’m right here in the now, not back then in the alley…

My body slides against the wall until my ass hits the pavement. I tuck my head between my knees, mentally repeating my mantra over and over.

This is a panic attack. I’m right here in the now, not back then in the alley…

Deep, long breaths. In and out slowly. Like a wave cresting, the panic eventually recedes, and I open my eyes.

A deliveryman steps outside, hesitating. “Miss, are you okay?”

Embarrassment colors my cheeks as I scramble to my feet. “There was a cat…” I trail off because it sounds silly as hell. “It freaked me out,” I finish anyway. He holds open the door, and I tell him sheepishly, “Thanks,” as I enter the building.

Reaching my therapist’s office, a wave of exhaustion washes over me. God, I’ve already been through the emotional wringer, and the appointment hasn’t even begun. I plop down in the waiting room chair, my head falling into my hands.

“Sienna,” she calls, opening her inner office door, and I’m ushered inside.

“How are you?” My therapist takes a seat across from me with a notepad and pen ready.

“Drained. I just had a panic attack outside the building. All because of a freaking cat.” I rifle through my bag, finding my water bottle and taking a big gulp.

“It makes sense a cat would trigger you,” she says gently. “Tell me about this panic attack.”

After I recap what just went down, she comments, “It’s major progress you were able to identify the panic attack in the moment and apply your tools. You should be proud of yourself.”

My throat constricts. Fabien was the only other person in my life to tell me that he was proud of me.

“Thanks,” I mutter, changing the subject. “Oh, I got a marriage proposal.”

“My, that is big news,” she comments.

I nod, crossing my legs. “Michele proposed. It would make sense financially.”

“Would it make sense romantically?” she presses.

“Romance is for fools,” I tell her dismissively. “My savings are dwindling, and I need a long-term plan.”

“What about returning to school? It was understandable that you needed time after everything you’ve been through,” she says gently, and I swallow an uncomfortable lump in my throat. “Have you considered reapplying?”

I shake my head. “I don’t have the money.” Or the drive. Or the passion. Or the creativity. A naive girl once thought nothing could derail her dreams. She had no idea what a huge train wreck her life was going to become.

“What about student aid?”