Page 67 of Brought By the Storm

Chapter Twenty-One

Carrington

We hadn’t talked in the taxi. Stefan tried dialing Eric’s number a few times, but each attempt ended with Stefan giving me a defeated look.

I was busy wringing my hands and trying to calm myself through slow, steady breathing. For his part, Stefan looked crestfallen. Except for when he dialed Eric, he kept his eyes on the passing view, seeming as though he wasn’t seeing it.

I knew the Village was quite a ride from the airport, and we still had several minutes before we would reach our destination. I blew out a breath, staring down at my lap. “Stefan, I just don’t understand how you could have invaded my privacy like that.”

I didn’t look to him, but I felt his sad eyes on me. “I know I shouldn’t have. I went downstairs at his house to make sure everything was secure, and the camera was lying out on the table and I thought, I’ll just look at one picture. I felt horrible about it, telling myself that I was a better man than that. You need to understand, I’ve idolized you for years. I thought that seeing a picture of you naked would…I don’t know, give me closure or something.”

I shook my head, still not making eye contact with him. “They weren’t your pictures to see.”

“I know,” he whispered. “I have no excuse. The temptation was overwhelming. I saw the pictures of you clothed, and you looked so happy. Carrington, you were looking at the camera—at Eric—with love in your eyes. It made me cry. I don’t know why. I thought I was over you. I think I am over you. It’s just that it hurt me that I spent so much time hoping for you to look at me like that. I kept scrolling and saw…well, a lot. I’m not proud of it, but I couldn’t stop looking. Seeing you naked and doing things I fantasized about. It was like telling a starving person to look away from a banquet. I thought if I could just burn the images in my head, I would never need anything more from you than the fantasies.”

I sighed. “You realize you sound like a sick stalker right now, don’t you?”

His voice cracked. “Yes. I felt even more disgusted with myself that I resented the photos of Eric. I could see he was looking at you with the same sense of awe, and it made me feel like something was stolen from me. The fact that he looked so…amazing and hot just made me feel worse—like the old guy who’d been tossed aside for a newer, sexier version.”

I glared at him. “You can’t be tossed aside if I never had you. It’s all been in your head.” He nodded. “How did you get the picture to your phone? Please tell me it’s the only one you stole.”

He bowed his head in embarrassment. “I wanted the ones of your ass in the jock strap, but I knew that it would be risky for you if I put those on my phone. I settled for the one of you shirtless, thinking I could explain it away if anyone ever saw it. Once I realized there was a USB cable near the camera, I connected it to my phone and transferred the photo.”

I wiped my sweaty upper lip. “And made it a screensaver? And what kind of security person doesn’t password-protect their phone?”

He grimaced. “One who deserves to be chastised?”

I looked out through the window and saw the hundreds of lights shining from windows, wondering how so many people could be packed into one small area. “You realize you cost me everything?”

I heard him whimper. “Carrington, you can stick to your public statement and the scandal will blow over.”

I was too tired to be angry. I shook my head. “No. The statement impugns Eric’s integrity. I’m going to tell people the truth—about everything.”

“What? You can’t do that. Carrington, they’ll want you to resign,” Stefan protested.

“I know,” I replied in a dead tone.

“Eric may not even take you back. You’re willing to give up the presidency even if he rejects you?”

I resumed looking at the many windows of the city. I reminded myself that there were hundreds of people behind those curtains who were dealing with worse than losing a job they didn’t even want. I had the means to start over. “Yes, even if he rejects me. I won’t lie to the people of Yastarus. I shouldn’t have allowed the statement to go out.” I rested my elbow on the door’s armrest, leaning my mouth against my fist, feeling more disappointment with myself than with Stefan. “I shouldn’t have doubted Eric, either. I should have listened to him. I’m as much to blame for the way things turned out as you are.”

We were silent for a few more minutes before Stefan cleared his throat. “Carrington, do you think you can ever forgive me?”

I didn’t answer for a long while. I didn’t know. I wasn’t trying to be cruel. I just couldn’t think and I didn’t want to say yes, then spurn him later. I didn’t want to say no, because I wasn’t sure that was true either. My head hurt and my heart ached, and I was frightened about what Eric might be doing, or who might be hurting him. “Let’s just find Eric, okay? I don’t feel like talking anymore.”

* * * *

When we arrived at Manny’s, my energy had returned and I was eager to run into the club to find Eric. There was a line of patrons waiting to enter the establishment. All I could think was that every passing moment was another where Eric could be doing something he’d regret.

“Stefan, we cannot wait in this queue. Talk to the doorman. Tell him I’m the president of Yastarus,” I instructed.

Stefan looked back at me like I had been whacked in the head. “A president wanting entrance to a gay bar? Oh, that won’t add to the scandals.”

“I don’t care,” I replied. “I need to get to Eric.” Stefan shook his head no. “Fine, I’ll go tell him myself.”

Stefan stopped me with a hand to my chest. “Let me talk to him.” He went to the doorman and I saw them both look back at me. Stefan leaned in close to the guard, whispering something in his ear. After what seemed like eternity, Stefan turned to me and waved for me to join them at the door. I anticipated protests from the waiting crowd, but they remained silent. Perhaps they were used to some people receiving special treatment. The doorman motioned for the two of us to enter the club.

“Scandal avoided,” Stefan muttered to me.