Page 131 of Dream On, Liar

I lowered the phone, opening the app to call us a cab.

After a few minutes, I finally spoke. “C’mon. Our cab is here.”

I stood up, before offering her a hand. When she looked at me then, the regret was clear in her eyes.

“Rihaan.”

I waved my hand, before she gave in. Pulling her up, I could help myself when my eyes fell back to her mouth.

“We can’t.”

I could only give her a nod.

But it wasn’t until we were settled inside the back of the car, when she finally whispered the words. The ones I was sure she hadn’t realised that she’d spoken out loud that had truly hit the nail in my heart.

“This was such a mistake.”

23

Rihaan

FOR THE REST OF the trip, I tried my best to ignore her.

Not dramatically. And, not entirely.

I didn’t storm out of rooms when she entered them or make a point of turning my back whenever she spoke. But I didn’t make an effort to give in to the pull I felt either.

If she was in the treatment room, I found somewhere else to be. If she sat beside my sister at breakfast, I chose another table. If she spoke to me professionally, I answered in the fewest words possible and gave my attention to whatever was directly in front of me.

It was easier than looking at her.

Easier than remembering the beach.

Easier than remembering how perfectly she’d fit against me when I’d kissed her. How alive I felt when I held her. How my heart raced just a little better when she was smiling at me.

Most of all, easier than remembering the way she’d looked at me immediately afterwards, before fear had come back into her eyes.

I buried all of it beneath cricket.

Thankfully, my wrist and shoulder behaved.

For once, my body seemed willing to cooperate with my decision to pretend everything else was fine. The swelling settled, the discomfort faded, and the medical staff, including Maeve stopped hovering quite so aggressively.

We finished New Zealand with the result we needed.

That took us through to the final of the World Test Championship.

With one match at the end of April, between South Africa and India in April.

Then June would bring the final decision, depending on who came through the other side of the draw.

There were numbers, fixtures, travel plans and press obligations to occupy every spare inch of my brain.

I let them.

They were easier than thinking.

The strangest part wasn’t that I missed Maeve.