Page 169 of Dream On, Liar

Not because I didn’t understand why he’d said them.

That was the worst part.

I understood, and still, I’d offered him exactly that.

A secret.

Something tucked away behind closed doors. Something that could exist only when nobody was looking.

My chest tightened beneath the duvet.

I turned onto my side and pulled the blanket higher.

It wasn’t what I’d meant.

Of course it wasn’t.

I’d meant time.

I wanted time.

Time to figure out how to stand on my own without my father’s words stretching across every decision I made. Time to build something that belonged to me before he had the opportunity to take it away. Time to see if we could really work. Time to convince myself that he wasn’t like my father.

But none of that changed how it had sounded.

I want you, but only where nobody can see you.

I squeezed my eyes shut.

Pathetic.

I had spent my entire life terrified that I would be someone people didn’t choose, and now I’d managed to make him feel exactly that.

The thought followed me into sleep.

It waited beneath it.

Then pulled me under.

“DON'T LEAVE ME!” I woke screaming.

My chest heaved, and for one horrible second, the nightmare didn't release me.

I couldn't breathe.

My heart hammered so violently it hurt.

“Mum?” The word escaped before I could stop it.

Then my door opened. “Maeve?”

Rihaan. Cabin. Our talk.

Everything came back crashing.

He crossed the room immediately.

“Hey. Hey, look at me.”