Page 90 of Dream On, Liar

I swallowed.

For the first time all day, I didn't feel like I had to hold myself together.

Raina shifted closer.

She waited until the cat had settled before speaking.

“What's going on?”

I opened my eyes.

“Nothing.”

“Rihaan.”

I looked down at the cat.

He was completely oblivious to the fact that he'd chosen the worst possible person to cuddle.

“I don't know. Between the aftermath of Maeve’s paper, Maeve herself, our dearest father showing up, and all of this drama. I feel like my head will explode if I don’t find a bright side.”

“Vedant’s wedding isn’t a tiny part of that bright side?”

I tilted my head, choosing honesty once. “No, that just reminded me I’m always the last one in the loop within the four—well, now five—of us.”

“That’s not true.” Raina defended instantly.

I turned my head to meet her eyes. “You all knew about Ishaan before me. Your boyfriend is upset with Dev, but I’m pretty sure you’re also updated on his current affairs. You’re the closest to Vedant now. I’m pretty sure this has always been the case, but with him now in the picture, it feels like you’ve always had space for the fourth sibling, but I just haven’t found my place yet.”

Raina’s breath stuttered. “Is that really how you feel? Is that why you’re so adamant on not having a relationship with Ishaan?”

“I don’t know. Maybe? I think Ma would also be hurt if we had a relationship with him.”

She paused then. “Okay, there are a few things you need to know. First, I think distance between all of us had just been so normal growing up, that I didn’t realise how disconnected you feel from the twins. I do think a conversation with both of them might be useful for you. Secondly, Ma actually wanted us to have a relationship with Ishaan. In one of her journals, she’d written about how she’d followed you one day for practice—and found out that Dad was taking you to play with him, and when she asked you about it when you got him—you had no idea that he was our half brother. She said you two had so much fun that you were so excited to see him again that it made her realise if he’d been truthful from the start, things wouldn’t have become so nasty. Lastly—”

“Wait. Hold On. Give me a minute to digest that before you continue,” I cut her off. “What do you mean one of her journals?”

She took a deep breath. “You know the one journal you’ve seen? The one that followed the year she passed?”

I nodded hesitantly. “There are more.”

“What? How many?”

She paused. “I think maybe twelve? Dev has always wondered if there are more but he couldn’t find any in storage for our Delhi house. And as they were left for Vedant, he’s not really letting him in on where the rest could be.”

“When did you learn about this?”

“Oh, don’t get mad. I’m breaking a promise telling you this.”

“Raina. When?”

“About a month after I moved in? It was the day you came home absolutely wasted.”

I tried to remember the night, but I failed completely.

Alcohol had a way of doing that for me.

“Where are they?” I asked through clenched teeth.