Page 119 of Love Unspoken

"Make some decisions, son." Hugh stood up. "Your mother and I are expecting an engagement by Thanksgiving."

A wave of frustration washed over me at his casual statement. I could feel the tension in my neck, the way my jaw clenched involuntarily. I wasn't just pissed off at Hugh. I was pissed at myself for letting it get this far. For letting them all believe that Kath and I were headed somewhere we weren't.

I knew why he was mentioning my mother; she wasn't as direct as Hugh, but then she didn't need to be. She knew how to nag and get her way. She'd been dropping hints, pushing her agenda, trying to make it seem like marrying Kath was the natural next step, the one that would tie our families together in a neat little bow. It was as if everyone was more concerned about the optics than about what I actually wanted. Or maybe they just assumed that what I wanted didn't matter. But it did. And the more they pushed, the more I realized that I didn't want what they were offering—not right now, at least.

"I'd hate to let you or Mama down, Hugh, but I need you to be prepared for me doin' exactly that."

Hugh's eyes narrowed. "Lucas, think carefully about how you treat my daughter."

"I'm treating Kath with the utmost respect," I informed him, raising myself. I was two inches taller, and I wasn't going to cower like a kid who had been caught with his pants down with Hugh's teenage daughter. "In fact, I have been as respectful as I was when she was with Mercer."

Hugh seemed to consider that for a moment, and his demeanor softened. "Son, she never married him. She wants to marry you. It's always been you."

"Then why the hell did she leave me for him?" I demanded.

Kath had given me the whole spiel ever since she dumped my ass. She and Mercer were friends, and then it became more. She was young and confused. She and I had been together since we were eighteen, and she thought she wanted someone else. Now, she was wiser.

"She made a mistake," Hugh gritted out. "The girl has paid for it. Hasn't she?"

I quirked an eyebrow. "How do you think she did that?"

Hugh shook his head. "She lost you, son. Can't you see how that messed with her? Man up, Lucas, and claim her. Don't let Kath down. Don't let the family down."

He walked out without waiting to hear from me.

I sank back into my chair.

Kath had always been the easy choice, the expected choice. We had history. She knew my family knew the world we moved in. It had always seemed inevitable that we'd end up together.

The truth? The Kath I was with now wasn't the same girl I'd fallen for years ago. Or maybe she was, and I just hadn't seen it back then. Now I was older, hopefully wiser, and what I saw didn't fill me with the kind of certainty I needed to make a commitment like marriage.

Fuck, if I was honest with myself, it didn't fill me with anything but dread.

I ran a hand through my hair as I tried to shake off the frustration. The problem wasn't just Kath. It was everything. It was the fact that no matter how hard I tried to convince myself otherwise, I couldn't get Amara out of my head. Even after everything—even after I'd hurt her more times than I could count—she was still there, a constant presence in the back of my mind.

I didn't know if I was in love with her. That was the part that fucked me up the most. I'd told myself that what we had was over, that it was better this way. But every time I saw her, every time I thought about her, that confidence slipped. I didn't just want her back—I wanted to be the man she deserved, the man who wouldn't fuck it all up again. But I couldn't be that man if I was still tethered to Kath, to a relationship that had become nothing but an obligation.

The door to my office opened, and Kath stepped in. "Hey, you."

She crossed the room to me, her tone light, trying to brush away the tension. "I thought we could grab lunch today. Maybe go over some of the details for the meeting with Emeril Restaurants next week?"

I looked at her, really looked at her. We used to be close. I didn't want to hurt her.

You didn't want to hurt Amara either; how did that work out for you?

"Your father was here."

Her smile faltered, but she recovered quickly, stepping closer to me, her hand reaching for mine. "Lucas, I told him not to talk to you about⁠—"

"He and Mama are expecting us to be engaged in a couple of months. Did you know that?"

I could see she did because she flushed and looked guilty as hell for an instant before she reeled it in and let the socialite take over. She straightened and held her chin up.

"And what's wrong with that? We're together, aren't we?"

"Are we?" I asked baffled.

"Just because we haven't slept together doesn't mean we're not together. We've spent most of our evenings together and…Lucas, you love me, and I love you."