Page 124 of Love Unspoken

At least no one can see what's in my heart and mind. I'm going to be okay. I'm going to be absolutely fine.

Flynn chuckled. "And here Lucas thought he hurt you; probably a good thing he left you if you so quickly moved on, right?"

"Crossing lines, Flynn," Jax warned.

"Oh please, Jax, Amara has been seeking a man in Charleston society and—" Shelby began.

"Excuse, us, but I've had enough of your company," Jax smoothly cut her off. "In the future, Shelby, Flynn, you see either Amara or me, just keep walkin', yeah? I don't think I want to mix with uncouth assholes like you."

There was a gasp that ran through the group and from the few people who overhead Jax, who hadn't tempered his volume; Emily smirked, and Ace openly laughed.

Jax led me away from the crowd and down to the water's edge, where the noise of the party faded into the background, replaced by the soothing sound of the waves. The sand was cool beneath my feet, and the moonlight blanketed us with calm, but I couldn't find any peace in it. Not with Shelby's words still ringing in my ears.

"Amara," Jax said gently, his voice cutting through the fog in my mind. "Talk to me. Tell me how you feel."

I held back my tears but I knew he could hear them in my voice. "Hearing about Lucas and Kath made me realize how much I'm still not over him, and I hate that I still love him, and I hate that he's getting married to…someone else."

Jax was quiet for a moment, his gaze thoughtful as he watched the waves roll in. "You shouldn't be so hard on yourself, darlin'. I get it. I've been there."

He had mentioned being in love once. "Still not over her?"

He nodded, a sad smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "I am now. We were together for a few years, and I thought she was the one. But things didn't work out, and I took it hard. Real hard. It took me a long time to get over her, and for a while, I thought I never would."

I could hear the pain in his voice, the remnants of an old wound that still hadn't fully healed. "I'm so sorry, Jax."

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Yeah. She wanted things I couldn't give her then. A life I wasn't ready for. She ended it, and I spent the next couple of years trying to pretend like I was fine, but I wasn't. I dated other people and tried to move on, but nothing ever stuck. I wasn't ready."

I nodded, understanding all too well. "That's how I feel. I thought I was ready to date again, but the truth is, I'm still hung up on Lucas."

Jax turned to face me, his eyes kind and understanding. "You'll get over it. I did…mostly."

I laughed. "Mostly?"

He shrugged and winked at me. "Yeah. I think when you really fall in love, the years blunt the pain of loss, but it never goes away. My grandma has been gone for a decade, and I still miss her, not with the same intensity as before, but there's a hole in my heart. We humans are resilient, though. We can survive with a hole in our heart."

I leaned into him, and we watched the waves.

"I never thought I could be friends with someone like you."

"What does that mean?" he asked.

I looked up at him, smiling wide. "Someone so full of himself."

"With good reason," Jax countered. "I mean, when you're perfect, it's hard to be humble."

"You're a lot like Lucas," I mused.

Jax nodded. "Yeah. I know."

"When he was with me, he was sweet and loving; affectionate, supportive…except when it came to his family."

"Lucas is a Covington and thinks the family name is important; that following traditions and all that shit matters. See, I gave it all up, and sure, my family is thrilled now that I'm successful, but when I said no thanks to the Caldwell textile empire, my father told me I'd fail, and he wouldn't lift a finger to help me; granddad basically disowned me. Good times."

He said it casually, but I could see that his father and grandfather's defection—not having faith in him and not wanting his happiness—had tainted his feelings for them.

"And now?

"Now, I'm the Caldwell who won the PGL Championship."