Page 12 of Two’s Better

Fuck. Was this a good idea? Why had Fiona put this shit in my head? I couldn’t so much as look at my best friend without feeling too big for my skin.

“Hey.” I nearly had a heart attack. I turned to find Uzezi perched on the armchair I was sitting on, laughing silently at me. When had he gotten here? “You look a little out of it. Do you want to call it a night?”

Oh God.

Fuck it. Fuck it.

“Yeah. I think so.” I stood. Don’t throw up. Don’t throw up. “Think I’m going to call it a night, everyone.”

My friends echoed their goodnights, and my stomach lurched into my throat when Uzezi stood to follow me upstairs.

I spared a glance for my heels sitting messily with the rest of our shoes in the tiny entryway but resolved that I’d grab them to put back in my wardrobe tomorrow; the girls and I didn’t like clutter at the front door.

When we got to my room, I sat at the foot of my bed. Uzezi closed the door behind him, then came to sit beside me, on my left. He took my hand in both of his, his usually comforting touch doing barely anything to quell my rattling nerves.

“Are you sure you’re all right?” he whispered, giving my hand a comforting squeeze. “You’ve been off practically all day. I didn’t want to push, but if you’re—”

“I think we should kiss.”

I heard his teeth click as his mouth snapped shut. His hands spasmed around mine. I couldn’t look at him. We were silent for several moments, the only sounds our hushed breaths and the muffled noise of our friends in the sitting room directly below us. I gave him time to let the words sink in.

Then I said in a rushed breath, “You said—what you said—suggested—before. I’ve been thinking about it. I’ve been ... considering it. And I thought, maybe, just to ... be sure we don’t mess up our friendship or what have you, that we should ... kiss. Just to ... see.” Well, I’d explained that badly.

I peeked at him from the corner of my eye. My stomach went from knotting itself to trying to light itself on fire.

His eyes were dark, serious. The moment my eyes met his, he said, “You know what? I think that’s a good idea.” He gave my hand another squeeze. “Just ... give me a moment.”

I blinked in confusion, clenching my hand to get the warmth back as he let go and stood, took two steps to the light switch, and flicked it off.

We were plunged in immediate darkness. My curtains were still open—I hadn’t shut them before we’d gone out—but the pale light of the moon outside and those of the neighbouring houses were just barely enough to make out his shape in the darkness.

He sat beside me once more. I tried not to squirm nervously. The darkness made me feel hyperaware of myself, of my skin. Of the solid warmth of his body right next to mine.

He twisted around slightly to face me, and, after a moment of hesitation, I did the same.

“Hi,” he whispered with a crooked smile, which immediately made me relax.

I bit back a hysterical giggle as I replied, “Hi.”

“Shall we lie down?”

“Yeah. All right.”

A shaky breath eased out of me as we moved up the bed until we were lying on our sides, facing each other, with me on my left side, my back to my wardrobe a few feet from the bed, and him on his right, his back to the wall my bed was pressed against. My eyes had adjusted to the darkness, so I could see his face and expression clearly. He shifted closer until we were almost breathing the same air.

“Fure,” he murmured.

“Yes, Uzi?”

He grinned slightly. “Have you ever found me attractive?”

I felt slightly thrown off at the question. “I mean, you are attractive.”

“Not what I’m asking.”

“I don’t know,” I said flippantly. “Have you ever found me attractive?”

I didn’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t for him to grow suddenly serious.