Page 58 of It’s The Dawg In Him For Me

“Why? I want to be an ear if you need it.”

I took a sip of wine and exhaled. “I hate it, but I want my husband back. I've been trying to talk to him, been trying to see him. He’s ignoring me. His friends think I'm a joke. I hate that I still love him after he hurt me the way he did.”

Shyheim nodded. “You love hard. It’s nothin’ wrong with that when you’re being loved by the right person.”

“But I wasn’t, and I want him to love me so bad.”

Shyheim walked ova with our plates in our hands and took a seat beside me.

“I don’t know your husband, but I can say that I know for a fact that I am not like him at all. I can treat you right, and I can help you heal.”

“How can I heal from somebody that I am not ready to heal from?”

Shyheim wiped my hair from the side of my face.

“Just let me be there for you.”

I nodded and leaned ova, and he kissed me. He was so soft, so caring, everything that I knew that I needed, but for some odd reason I didn’t want at that time.

For the rest of the night, my mind rested. We didn’t fuck, nothing more than soft kisses on my hands, shoulder, neck, and arms.

We laid on his sofa and put on a movie.

“I could get used to this,” he said softly with a smile.

I smiled back.

I wanted to agree with him so bad, but I couldn’t, deep down. For some reason, I couldn’t let Rosama go.

Chapter 18

Nylah

Iwas catching feelings for a Brooklyn nigga.

And I didn’t know how to feel about that.

Even though I wanted to take my time, even though my trust in Rosama was low, that nigga was applying pressure, and I wasn’t talking no lil’ pressure either.

Rosama asked where I worked and showed up with lunch when he was in the area. When I had a late class, he would pick me up. Rosama would randomly send me money for bills or to make sure it was groceries in the house that he liked.

On my days off, if he wasn’t catching plays or moving guns, we would have movie dates or go on walks. I saw another side of Rosama that I could tell he didn’t let many, if anybody, see.

He was so caring, so attentive, but at the same time controlling. He stood his ground and made sure he was the leader in every situation. I was finding myself becoming submissive. Letting him lead, I don’t know if it was the dick or the way he was taking care of me off the rip, but he was putting me in my soft girl era, and I was loving it.

One night my girls were hitting me, trying to go to the club, but I turned them down. I was already at Rosama’s, and he was cooking dinner. After Raven got done cussing me out for not coming, I placed my phone on the table and went into the kitchen to see what he was doing.

“You know how to cook? I asked, looking ova his shoulder.

He laughed. “Chill out, I got this.”

Rosama was pan-frying some chicken. He had some veggies steaming and some rolls in the oven.

“Okay,” I said as I looked around. “Let me find out you know what you doing in here.”

He put the tongs down, wrapped his arms around me, and placed me on the counter beside him with a kiss.

“You think I can’t feed myself?”