Page 71 of Here We Go Again

“Yeah, I guess that’s true,” Theo says.

We stand there for another long beat of silence before I lift my toiletry bag to my chest. “I should—” I start to say. But Theo starts talking at the same time.

“Listen—”

We smile at each other. “You go ahead,” I say.

He clears his throat. “I was just going to say I had a good time with you today.”

My stomach flutters at his words, even as my mind jumps back to the conversation I had with my mom, to her claim that Theo is interested in more than just mending the past.

“Yeah,” I say, my throat suddenly dry. “Me too.”

For the briefest moment, Theo’s hand grazes along the edge of my pinky. It’s so subtle, it could be an accident, but then he doesn’t stop, his touch featherlight as he traces a line up to my knuckle.

“Goodnight, Becca,” he says, his voice low. He gives my hand a quick squeeze, then steps backward, leaving me in the center of the hallway, breath caught in my throat.

“Good night,” I practically whisper.

“For the record?” he says from his bedroom doorway. He gives me a teasing smirk. “I really like you in my shirt.”

18

BECCA

I’m surprisingly rested when I wake up the next morning, considering how little sleep I actually managed to get. With Theo directly across the hall—sound really does carry in this house—I was constantly aware of him. Every creak of his mattress. Every step across the floor. Not to mention the memory of his parting words last night. I really like you in my shirt.

Is he kidding me?

If this keeps up all week, I might not sleep at all.

My phone buzzes from the nightstand beside me, and I reach over to scoop it up. There’s a text from my mom.

Mom

Good morning! We have coffee and bagels in the kitchen when you’re ready to eat. Kim and I are heading into town to pick up a few groceries. No big plans for today. Just lounging by the pool or heading out to the beach. See you soon!

I stare at the ceiling, somehow feeling eager to see Theo and terrified to see him at the same time.

I can’t help but feel like I’m standing on the precipice of something big. If I were to actually consider dating Theo, we wouldn’t be starting something new. We’d be going back to something we already know in our bones.

Back then, we knew each other better than we knew anyone. It might have started as something youthful, a pair of smitten teenagers fumbling through our first serious relationship. But we were together for almost two years. We grew into adults together, taught each other how to love with our hearts, our minds, our bodies.

I close my eyes, snatches of memories flooding my mind in rapid succession. Whispered words, gentle kisses, touches that lit my skin on fire. The first time, Theo asked me three different times if I was sure, just to hear me say my answer hadn’t changed. But I’d never been so sure of anything. For better or worse, loving him was so overwhelming, it felt inevitable. Like it was the only place for all those feelings to go.

I don’t know how to think about now without the context of then. It makes everything seem bigger, like the stakes are higher somehow.

I climb out of bed and stretch, then peek into the hallway to look for Theo. The bathroom is empty, and his bedroom door is open, the light off, so I’m guessing he’s already downstairs.

I hurry into the bathroom to pee and brush my teeth, then I head back to my room to put on the bikini I bought right before my trip.

I needed a new suit anyway, but now that I’m here, about to put it on, I’m wondering if I was feeling a little too bold when I was shopping.

I shouldn’t have taken Mia with me. She always pressures me into buying things I’d never buy if I were shopping on my own.

The suit is black, which is good, at least, but I don’t remember the butt being quite so cheeky. I do love the top, though. My boobs aren’t half the size of Mia’s, so I often struggle to find tops that accentuate my smaller cup size without looking like I’m trying too hard. I want to look like I have boobs but not like I want my boobs acquainted with my ears.

With the suit on, cheeky bottoms and all, I turn back to the dresser to find my swimsuit coverup. Except, the one I find isn’t the one I packed. I bought it just for this trip, and it was so cute. Flowy and long and breathable and absolutely perfect.