Page 77 of Here We Go Again

“That was amazing,” she says, leaning back onto her hands.

I drop onto the sand beside her, happy to enjoy a little shade. “Yeah?”

“Ten out of ten,” she says. “Thanks for coming with me. I don’t think I would have gone out so far without you.”

“Some of the best snorkeling I’ve ever done is at a barrier reef off the coast of Belize,” I say. “My friend, Astrid, had a former roommate who lived there for a while. We saw nurse sharks and rays and enormous sea turtles. It was amazing.”

Becca shifts, brushing the sand off her hands before she asks, “Astrid. Was she a girlfriend?”

My eyebrows lift. “Oh … uh, no. Just a friend.”

She bites her lip. “So, is it true what they say? The charming Theo Williamson will never settle down?”

My jaw clenches as I consider how to respond. I’m not unaware of the reputation the internet has bestowed upon me, no matter how unearned it may be. And I have been photographed with a number of beautiful women.

But they’re only photos. Not at all a reflection of what’s actually going on in my personal life. In the past, I haven’t minded letting people form their own opinions. It’s kept me from having to explain the truth—something I’ve kept from everyone, even my brother.

If no one expects me to ever be serious about someone, then I never have to explain why I’m not serious about anyone. And I can’t explain, not without bringing up Becca, and she’s been a subject I’ve been happy to avoid for years.

But now, she’s the one believing the lies. And that’s the last thing I want. But I can’t tell her the truth. If I’m worried about pushing too hard, too fast, getting into the why of my dating history is the last thing I need to do.

“They’re just rumors, Bec,” I say, hating that I can’t say more.

She’s quiet for a long moment, but she eventually says, “It must be frustrating to have so many people with opinions about your life. I only have my parents, my sisters, and Mia. And that’s hard enough.”

I let out a little chuckle. “Carter is actually worse than the fans,” I say. “The guy can use his own face to unlock my phone and spy on me if he wants. I can’t keep a secret from him to save my life.”

“And he clearly can’t keep them from your mother,” Becca says.

I huff out a laugh. “You picked up on that, huh?”

“I’m sure he means well,” she says.

I nod and shift, leaning back to mirror Becca’s reclined position. Only, when my scar hits the sand, a random jolt of pain shoots up my arm, making me wince and pull it back. I massage it with my free hand, and slowly, the pain starts to dissipate.

I look over to see Becca watching me. “Does that happen often?” she asks.

“Yeah, every once in a while,” I say. “Less frequently than it did at first.”

“That’s good, at least. But I’m sure it’s still frustrating,” she says. “I actually did a rotation in physical therapy when I was in nursing school. I even wrote a paper on scar desensitization.”

“Did you?”

She pushes herself up onto her knees and turns herself to face me. “Actually, can I try something?” She holds out her hands like she clearly wants my hand.

I offer it to her, and she slowly starts massaging the pad of my thumb, making her way up and over the entire length of my scar.

Maybe it’s the heat or the warm gulf water, or maybe it’s just that she’s really good at this, but it feels amazing. So much better than any massage I’ve gotten in my actual physical therapy appointments.

“How’s that feel?” she asks, her voice soft.

I nod. “Good. Really good, actually.”

“So, if that doesn’t bother you at all, then we can try a little bit of friction.” She scoops up some sand and drops it onto my hand. “I wouldn’t do this if your scar wasn’t completely healed. But … I read something about the extra stimulation and how it can help your nerves remember how to chill. So they only hurt when they’re supposed to hurt.”

The sand added to the massage definitely adds an extra element to the experience. It feels odd, but not bad odd. Just different. “My PT suggested I use a salt scrub at home,” I say. “I guess this is why.”

“Have you tried it?”