Page 112 of Rush

“What are you doing here?” I ask. My voice sounds as rough as his.

“Ari, I…” He drives a hand through his disheveled hair. Gripping the strands, he shakes his head and exhales a soft, painful-sounding breath. “I’m sorry, babe. So very fucking sorry.”

He knows the truth. Someone told him.

A flash of anger runs through me. My eyes go to the door and then back to him.

“Did…my dad tell you?” The words are like rocks in my mouth.

He shakes his head. “No. I saw…Luke.”

“Luke?”

“He came to my place late last night.”

“How…did he know where you lived?”

“Money can buy you a lot of things in this city. And, apparently, my address is one of them.”

“Oh.”

“He came to give me a piece of his mind. And I’m glad he did. Because everything he said was right. It should’ve been me with you yesterday at the hospital. It should’ve been me listening to you when you were telling me the truth…believing you because you’d never given me a reason not to trust you. But because I’m so used to distrusting people, I…” He breaks off and blows out another breath. “I let down the one person I shouldn’t have.”

I wrap my arms tighter around myself. “I don’t know what to say,” I whisper softly.

“Tell me you’ll forgive me.”

I stare into his eyes, his endless eyes that desperately search mine.

And I shake my head. “I’m sorry, Ares. But I can’t be with someone who doesn’t trust me.”

“I do trust you.”

He steps up to me, hands curling around my upper arms. The feel of his hands on me…it’s like he’s burning me.

“I just let my own bullshit cloud my judgment. I made a mistake, and I’m so fucking sorry.”

“I was drugged. Do you get that? I was drugged. I was pleading with you to believe me, and you wouldn’t listen! You dismissed me. Yelled at me. You didn’t listen to a word I’d said to you. You once asked me for the truth, full disclosure, and I promised you that…and I have never broken that promise.”

“Neither have I.”

“No. But you’ve let me down. The only reason you’re here right now is because Luke told you the truth!” I stab a finger at the ground. “Not because you suddenly realized I was telling the truth. Not because you got over your initial anger and saw that I would never lie to you. No, you’re here because Luke told you what had happened. And I have no doubt in my mind that you wouldn’t be standing here right now if he hadn’t.” Tears are running down my cheeks now, showing my pain and frustration.

The guilt that sweeps through his eyes tells me everything I need to know. That I’m right. That he wouldn’t have come. That he would never have believed what I had told him.

“You need to leave.”

Panic flashes through his eyes. “Ari, please. I’ve fucked up, and I’m so sorry, babe. I hate that you’re crying because of me.” He lifts a hand to my face and cups my cheek, brushing away my tears with his thumb. His eyes plead with mine. “Please, Ari. Just give me a chance to make this right.”

I look away from him. “I…can’t.”

“But…” I can hear him searching for words, and what comes out of his mouth next is entirely the wrong thing. “You screwed up before, and I forgave you.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” I yell. I push his hand off me. “I can’t believe you! You’re comparing a white lie when I canceled on you because I was too ashamed to tell you that I’d been to a bar before we were even dating to this!” The words roar out of my mouth.

Surprise flickers through his eyes. He’s never seen me angry. I’ve never seen me this angry. I’m so mad that I’m vibrating with it.

“You need to leave,” I tell him again, low.