Page 115 of Experiments in Offline Dating

“Really.”

“But I thought we didn’t have time?”

“I made time.”

If we hadn’t been in the car, I think I might actually have hugged him. “Oh my God. You really are a secret softy, aren’t you?”

“No. Now, you’re going to be late for your time slot, so move your ass.”

“Wait. Just me?”

“Just you. Peace and quiet in the most beautiful library in the world.” His smile warmed his eyes, and they sparkled. He knew he’d done well.

I looked at the time and grabbed my bag, but I turned back. “Come with me.”

“Naa. This is just for you. Time for yourself. To recharge.”

“If it’s for me, then come. It’ll be more fun if you’re there.” I hadn’t planned to say that. I hadn’t even realized that was how I felt until it was out of my mouth. If I hadn’t just woken up, perhaps I would have made it into a snarky remark—I wanted him there because I needed him to reach the high shelves, or carry my heavy bag from the gift shop, or find the sheep illuminated in The Book of Kells—I would have covered this rare softness and vulnerability with a stupid joke. Instead, I left the raw comment to hang in the air without adornment, let the emotion warm my voice without second-guessing it.

He narrowed his eyes and studied me. Then he looked away, nodded. “All right” was all he said, clearing his throat.

“All right,” I said back. And just like that, we quietly accepted that there was something new in this friendship, something more tender than I had realized.

The two of us wandered in wonder, drifting slowly under a firmament of dark wood and ancient books. With its arched nooks, sliding stairs, thirty-five-foot ceiling, and rows and rows of two hundred thousand books with beautiful leather spines on display and mysteries hidden within, it was a castle built with paper, a shrine to dark academia, and I worshiped in awe, my breath well and truly taken.

“Thank you.” I was whispering as I looked up into Tadhg’s eyes, not because anyone would shush us but because libraries were hallowed ground. His face softened and I grinned wickedly. “This almost makes up for you being a total dickhole all the time.”

“Almost, huh?”

“Almost.”

I almost wanted to grab his hand just to hold it. Almost wanted to break the rules.

Almost.

I guessed I finally had to admit to myself that I really liked having Tadhg around. More and more I, shockingly, preferred his quiet company to being alone. Despite everything, we had slowly been making space for each other and building a quiet friendship there.

Until Giant’s Causeway, that is.

Where that quiet, safe, unassuming friendship exploded.

Chapter 34 An Experiment with Honey and Mr. Darcy

Giant’s Causeway had always been on my bucket list. I knew it would be crawling with tourists, especially in the summer, but I had seen photos of it since I was a little girl. Those hexagonal stones and pillars were so otherworldly, something so perfect and strange that it shouldn’t be allowed to exist outside of fairy tales. But first I had to face down the suspension bridge.

Jackie had arranged for us to meet a younger couple who lived in Ballycastle. We had stayed a night in Derry, walking the beautiful old walls of the city and taking selfies at the Derry Girls mural. I was delighted to use pounds instead of euros. The next day we hit the suspension bridge first because of the long lines. Tadhg had warned me of the heights, but since the bridge had safety ropes on either side, I decided it was statistically unlikely that I would plunge to my death.

We wove through the line like it was Disneyland, and the anticipation started to make me a little skittish. Then we got close enough for me to see it in real life for the first time. It was a rope bridge. Suspended between a perilous cliff and an equally perilous rocky chunk of island. I gasped. The sky was gray and windy, and rain spat at our raincoats, conspiring to make the rope bridge slick and deadly.

Tadhg saw the look on my face and chuckled softly. “All right, you. You’ve seen it. You can officially tick it off the list. Let’s give it a miss and go have a hot cup of tea.”

“No.” My teeth chattered. More from nerves than anything else.

“Don’t be silly.”

“I can do it.”

He narrowed his eyes and scanned my face for a moment. “All right. If you’re sure. But tell me if it gets to be too much.”