Page 51 of Experiments in Offline Dating

“Why are you like this?”

“Why? Because I’ve tried chatting to you over a meal before, and I’m in no hurry to repeat the experience. So let’s hurry up and go.”

I scoffed. “Yeah, you were every bit as charming then, weren’t you?”

“Just hurry the hell up.”

Chapter 11 An Experiment in Adult Swaddling

In the Jeep, I managed to doze for a bit. I wasn’t sure for how long before we came to a sharp stop that jolted me awake. Tadhg grabbed a backpack from Finn’s foot space and stuffed in a water bottle, zipped a mystery package into a thermal-looking thing, and crammed that in too.

“If you have a water bottle, bring it. And something to keep warm, and something in case it rains.”

“But there’s not a cloud in the sky.”

He got out and glared at me, his brow so furrowed that one might have sowed seeds in there.

“I’m good, really.” Aiming my rear high, I shoved myself out of the car, ass and all, in under two minutes. “Ooo. I’m getting better at that.”

He ignored my gymnastic feats and continued to scowl despite their excellence. “Fine. Have it your way.”

“I usually do.”

He slammed the door behind me, and the sound was like a swear word.

“Oh! The Cliffs of Moher!” There was a sign as we walked through a large, busy parking lot with several big tour buses, and I was excited. This was one of those super-touristy things that one was not supposed to miss on a trip to Ireland.

“Hey.” I looked at him, and I let the word tie us together for a moment while I searched his annoyed face. “You did something nice for me.”

He puffed joylessly. “My dad planned it.”

I walked to cut him off and bit back a smirk, delighted that he’d been caught in a lie. “No, he didn’t. He said that we probably wouldn’t have time to come here today.”

“Well. I did it for Finn. She loves this walk. Besides, I figured you’d be too busy taking bloody selfies on the side of the cliff to be an aggravating handful.” I laughed, and he stepped around me in a huff. “Feel free to wait in the car if you want to complain.”

I laughed again and skipped ahead.

The cliffs were unspeakably beautiful. I was, quite literally, unable to speak. First, because of the majesty—it’s a strong word, I know, but honestly, it felt like the only one up to the task of capturing how it felt to stand near the edge of those cliffs and look out over the seven-hundred-foot precipice while the wind pushed and pulled at you, and birds dove and soared on the breath of the wild sea that crashed so dizzyingly far below. Second, because it was fucking terrifying!

We had walked, silently of course, in one direction along the edge, until at some point, the easy tourist path with the high protective wall stopped, and we moved onto more of a wild trail where lots of warning signs told us in no uncertain terms that we might very easily fall to our death. I couldn’t help but stare at a sign for a moment, with its gruesome symbol of someone falling, screaming all the way down, probably. I took a few extra breaths and reminded myself that the numerical probability of my falling was less than one in a billion.

There were far fewer people on the more rugged trail. I noticed that this time Tadhg did not move on to stride past and walk in front of me but, rather, stayed back and let me lead. He probably wanted to keep a close eye on me in case I should decide to dash myself to the rocks and jeopardize his sheep payment. Finn, he had clipped in and was keeping on a similarly short leash.

As far as I looked were churning sea and pale blue sky. At times the crisp wind, with its cold bite, blew so hard that my lungs caught, and I could not draw another breath until it calmed a few long seconds later. Layers and layers and layers of gray rock made up the sheer rock face, like so many deckle-edged books stacked atop one another, making ledges where seabirds could bravely nest and rear their young. Small islands had broken away from the cliff and crumbled into the sea, making one wonder which bit might go next in another several thousand years, or today, and whether or not it would bring a few tourists down with it.

“Here,” Tadhg said when we’d gotten to a quiet green patch. “Let’s sit.”

We sat down on a flat stretch of grass with a safe view out over the beautiful death plunge. I took a sip of my water and watched him reach into his backpack and bring out the mystery package in its insulated bag.

“Is that food?” My eyes got wide.

It was food. He opened a take-out box to reveal two long strips of fried fish on a bed of thick yellow chips, and handed it to me. He had a box for himself as well.

“When did you get those?”

“When you were snoring.”

I snatched up a chip from his box, miraculously still warm, and closed my eyes as I chewed. “Holy shit!”