Page 53 of Experiments in Offline Dating

“Okay, fine. But we didn’t have to come this far. And we didn’t have to walk on the unprotected trail. And we definitely didn’t have to walk so close to the edge.”

“Well, it’s a good thing we did. Because look at it!” I grabbed another chip and took a big bite to punctuate. “I can’t think of any better place to have a fish-and-chip picnic. Even with you two for company.” I grinned, but this didn’t seem to pacify him. “Calm down. That furrow in your brow needs a vacation.” I did my best impersonation of his furious face, and Finn barked at me. Tadhg didn’t laugh, really, but I thought the corner of his mouth tilted upward. Very slightly. If you squinted. It was probably gas.

“Hey. That kid Kevin . . . he’s a wanker. I’ve known him since he was four, and he’s barely changed in twenty years. So, don’t let it . . . you know.”

“Twenty-four? Is that how old he is?” I laughed so hard my eyes watered. “Oh my God. The girl from Dune! What on earth would make your dad say that?”

“I don’t know. It’s a thing he does.” He leaned back on locked arms, and I thought that would be the end of the conversation, so I was surprised when he broke the silence a few minutes later.

“So. You’re afraid of heights enough to shake all over like a leaf, but you just decide to get on with it? Do it anyway?”

“Yeah.” I leaned back too, next to him, our feet out toward the edge but still yards away.

“What’s that like?”

Interesting question. “Scary. Sometimes unsettling. But also exhilarating.” He didn’t say anything, but nor was he scowling, so I went on. “I used to be the sort of person who was really set in her ways and didn’t like new things. I didn’t like change. It caused anxiety. But then I wondered what I might be missing out on. So I decided not to be that way anymore.”

“Just decided?”

“Yeah.”

“So you just . . . changed who you were on a fundamental level.”

“Sorta. It was difficult at first, but I internalized it over time. Now, when I make a rule, I always follow it. It makes change easier. Things don’t have to be complicated. I just decided I was going to say yes to things that I was curious about.”

“But . . . people don’t just wake up one day and decide to change who they are.”

“Sure they do.”

We let a quiet minute pass. Then he turned and looked at me for a long, weighted moment, head tilted to one side like a confused dog. Heat prickled up my neck.

“Hum” was his response.

I was still shaking a little, but the food and distraction had calmed me. I was no longer picturing what it might be like to run and jump off the side of the cliff. Instead, I was wondering what he saw.

Instead, I was wondering what it would feel like if his warm hand came around my waist and pulled me under him on the grass.

I cleared my throat and looked away. “Hey. Do you want the rest of this?” I gestured to my fish and chips to break the spell.

“Naa, I’m good, thanks. But you can give it to Finn.”

“Pfft. You give it to Finn.” I passed it to him. “I don’t want her to think that I approve of her tyranny.”

His mouth tightened into one of those little smile-frowns. “All right, then.” He opened the box and inspected it. “C’mere, baby. Who’s my best girl?” Whoa! What new voice is this? “Do ye want some chips, do ye? All right, you beauty. You hungry, sweetheart?” Finn launched herself into Tadhg’s lap and covered him in frantic kisses, knocking him back flat on the ground until he was helpless. I didn’t blame her. “All right. All right, now. You win, my darlin’. You win. You can have whatever you want. Here you are. What a good girl.”

Dear God, it’s me, Maya. If I do end up falling off the cliffs today, can I please come back as Tadhg’s next dog?

Finn ate and almost wagged her tail clean off. Then we all got up and returned along the trail, this time at a slower pace than before. The areas where the trail veered very close to the edge, Tadhg stepped in and walked alongside me, putting himself between me and the sheer drop, Finn leading the way.

I leaned over very slightly to get a better view, and it sent icy adrenaline pumping through my veins. “The Cliffs of Insanity!” I said, mostly for my own amusement.

But Tadhg’s mouth tightened. “He didn’t fall?” he answered.

I gasped, and something flipped in my stomach. “Inconceivable!”

“I don’t think that means what you think it means.”

I laughed. Who was this man? He didn’t laugh, per se, but I noticed that his eyes crinkled at the corners as if he was trying to hold a smile back.