Page 66 of Library or Lattes?

Me: Just ran into Sara … I’m so sorry for everything

Me: I know I’ve been the worst friend. I miss you so much

Three little dots appeared almost immediately, then disappeared again. Then reappeared …

Lennie: I miss you too

Lennie: But Sara was so hurt. I was too

Me: I know. I want to do better

There was a pause then. Was that it? I was pretty worried until I read her next message on a different chat.

Lennie: Movie night. Tonight? Everyone? Sara too?

Avery: YES!!!

Me: Want to come to my place?

Lennie: Only if I get to choose the movie …

Krista: No. Lennie is banned from choosing, I’m not watching someone get their head cut off on a Friday night. TSITP rewatch!

Me: I don’t care what we watch, just glad everyone can make it.

Lennie heart emoji’d my message and I held my phone to my chest as I walked down Main Street. Then I saw him. Red flannel shirt rolled up to the elbows, sweeping leaves off the sidewalk. Completely focused on what he was doing.

My feet slowed without permission, and I gazed at James’s profile. The bone structure that looked so sharp and sculpted from this angle, the way his forearms tensed as he swept the broom firmly against the ground. Before he could look up and see me, I crossed over to the other side of the street. I put my head down and kept on walking, while I tried not to replay our kiss in my head.

But how could I ever be brave enough to see the world if I couldn’t even cross the street to say hello?

Pop wasn’t home, so I started making lists in my new notebook. Lists of cities, the hotels and highlights in each one, all mingled with bits of journaling. And as I wrote, something shifted.

I’d screwed up with Lennie and Sara, but people were allowed to mess up and move forward. And, James, yeah, I’d majorly put my foot in it with him, but maybe he wouldn’t shut me out completely … And maybe I could want both? To see the world and have something worth coming back to. Maybe leaving and caring weren’t mutually exclusive? And maybe I didn’t have to decide just yet …

I opened the fridge, thinking of mac ‘n’ cheese. Pop’s favorite. Making up with Lennie and Sara had seriously flipped my mood, but it couldn’t be fully fine until Pop and I were good. I’d keep my momentum going with my friends, maybe with James, too … I turned Sabrina Carpenter up LOUD and danced along as I started cooking.

Suddenly the music dropped and my out-of-tune singing blared through the kitchen. I looked up, panicked. Pop and Jo were watching me, trying not to laugh.

“Oh my God,” I said, then clamped my hand over my mouth. Pop let himself laugh then, and it was catching. The three of us just howled in the kitchen, and when we stopped, the mood at home felt peaceful again, along with the crackling of the fire and the creak of the old floorboards beneath us. It was like the laughter had washed everything away.

“I thought you were at Lennie’s tonight. Movie night?” Pop looked at Jo, who’d moved so she was standing behind his shoulder. “I can’t keep track.”

I made a face. “Movie night kind of got sidetracked for a while, but it’s back on, and we’re hosting, and it’s not just Lennie coming …”

Pop and Jo looked at each other.

“Krista, Avery, and Sara too,” I told them.

“Phew,” said Pop. “I thought you were gonna tell us you were having a party.”

Jo laughed. “Nothing wrong with a party.” And Pop gave her a look. A look that was natural, and relaxed, and kind of sweet. I could see they really liked each other, and it filled my heart.

James filled my mind then. The looks we’d shared across the coffee shop when Mr. Crossword came in. Or the times he’d caught me watching him at the coffee machine. The kissing …

“Over my dead body. This place is already falling apart.” Pop laughed. “But that’s no problem, Will. We’ll get out of your way. We could go to Pepe’s?” he asked Jo.

“You could stay? If you wanted?” I offered, wondering why the words were coming out of my mouth, but not hating them.