Page 11 of From Russia With Blood

The song ends, and I blink. The man is gone. What the actual hell is happening to me? Looking over at Lizzy, she is so busy flirting with a leather-clad stranger that she doesn’t even seem to be upset at my lapse in singing anymore. At least that’s one good thing. I ease myself off stage and walk back over to the bar. I never did get that drink, and I need it now more than ever.

“What can I get for you?” The bartender leans over to scan my band and smiles at the screen. “Want to space your drinks out or get them all at once?”

As much as I want to get myself tipsy, I’m no longer sure I’m currently in control of my faculties while sober. If I’m going to watch over Lizzy and play, I probably need to just stick with one. “I’ll just take whatever is not super strong. I’m a lightweight.” With a wink, he starts to prepare the ingredients.

Despite my inner voice telling me to watch him as he makes my drink, I turn back to the pool, just needing to see them one more time, to convince myself that I’m not crazy. Now, it’s completely empty. At least I don’t have the strange men distracting me. Turning back, I see him finish up before he hands it off. Nothing in his actions screams predator. Besides, if you can’t trust a bartender, who can you trust?

“Here you go. One hurricane. Extra light. If you get tipsy off of this, then God help you because I sure can’t.”

The irony of the name is not lost on me. Did he somehow hear about my antics earlier? I take the drink with a smile and give it a tentative sip. If he doesn’t know, no sense in pulling out the embarrassing saga and reliving it.

The fruity flavor explodes on my tongue, and I find it quite tastier than a margarita. Despite its namesake, I’m more than willing to make this my new go-to mixer. Normally, my arms and hands are already tingling after a few swallows, but not this time. I’m almost convinced he’s fixed me a virgin drink yet registered it as me using one of my two drinks.

When I raise my hand to get his attention again, Lizzy bounces up to me. She’s with the Dungeon Master I saw earlier. Unease gnaws at my insides as I note her wide smile. That can only mean one thing; she’s found someone to play with. Now that he’s not in the shadows of the pool, his skin doesn’t look quite as pitch dark as before, though he’s only a shade or two lighter than the leathers he’s wearing.

“OMG, Kat! I met the best guy ever! We have just so much in common.”

My warning alarms start to blare as he looks from her to me, a predatory smile lifting his lips. What would a Dungeon Master have in common with a novice?

“We both love small, defenseless creatures. I guess that’s what passes for ‘in common’ these days.” His voice is deep and gravely. It washes over my skin like water over a pebble. Any discomfort I was feeling is now gone. Instead of the danger my brain was screaming earlier, it’s now demanding I give in and trust this guy with my best friend.

Taking in a deep breath, I force myself to stand my ground. I’m not letting Lizzy play with anyone I don’t think is safe, and this man, as attractive as he is, is a stranger. Everyone here is a stranger, and yet you chose one to play with. Why not her? The mutinous thoughts blaze through my brain, cutting through every argument.

I can’t fault her for finding someone. Hell, I’m sitting here hoping my own knight in shining armor shows up and whisks me away. “Aren’t you a Dungeon Master? I saw you hovering over the players in the pool. Don’t you have responsibilities that don’t include hitting on my friend?”

Lizzy’s eyes narrow, flashing at me as she wraps her fingers around his arm. “He wasn’t hitting on me. I saw his outfit and asked him a question. He promised to show me the ropes.”

With a small lift to his lips, he reaches in his pocket to pull out a hank of rope. I don’t know much about the kink, though I always wanted to try my hand at being a bunny, but it looks like a good quality binding.

“Yes. I am one of many Dungeon Masters on this ship.” He glances down at his watch before flashing us a killer smile. “But my shift just ended, and I’d rather have her introduction into kink downstairs. That is if it’s okay with you. I didn’t realize she needed permission from her Domme.”

His retort hits me square in the chest, and I have to keep myself from literally moving backward to get away from the sting. I didn’t think I was being unreasonable, yet here Lizzy is, looking at this man as if he’s a god. And who knows, to her, he might just be that god. My main goal was to ensure she didn’t get hurt, but that’s probably part of the journey.

God knows I didn’t have anyone to protect me those few times. Agony twists in my heart like a knife, stealing my breath. That’s one of the reasons I’m here. It’s not just the rejection of my boyfriend. There are other traumas I want to reclaim on my terms. The way Lizzy looks at this man is probably how I looked at the first Doms that chose to mold me, use me, toss me aside.

I want nothing more than for her to have only the positives of this lifestyle, but I can’t guard her forever. What happens if I end up leaving, moving out? “I don’t own her. She’s my best friend.” The look she gives me is a haughty combination of venom and ice. I’ve never seen that look on her before.

Again, the unease is back. It’s like I’m looking at a complete stranger. What is happening to my friend? Before I can continue, they walk away arm in arm, as if they’d always been together. Hopefully tonight, after all the adrenaline of today has worn off, we can have a discussion. Lizzy needs to know I only have her best interests at heart. I never wanted to deny her an experience.

Helpless, I follow after them. I can’t control him, and I don’t even want to try. As much as I want to yell at Lizzy and tell her to run away, I can’t. The words are stuck in my throat. It’s as if I’ve eaten a spoonful of peanut butter - everything is closed off. I can’t even swallow. Bringing my drink to my lips, I chug the rest down, needing any liquid courage that might be in there. Who knows, maybe if I believe it enough, I can make myself feel that much-needed buzz.

I open my mouth to call after them, to see if they’ll wait for me, but they’re gone. Noise and lights flood my system as I look around for Lizzy and the Master. It’s as if everything had been muted before but is now back in a riotous cacophony. I don’t even know his name. How can I find him again if I don’t know his name?

Tears prick at my eyes as I make my way to the elevator. How could she just leave me like that? The walls of the ship close in on me as I trudge down the hall. I was starting to feel better about this trip, but now everything seems off. With all the scenarios that flooded my mind when planning this cruise, being alone and more sober than I should be wasn’t part of the itinerary.

Soon, the noise spills out behind me as people make their way to the main play space. Their bodies jostle mine as they push past to get to the elevators. It’s as if I’m invisible. I feel so small and alone as wave after wave of people joke and laugh. Smacks here, gasps there. Everyone is so alive, so ready to have fun. Why am I the only one that feels like they’re heading to their death?

I trudge onward, the need to make sure Lizzy is safe, even if she doesn’t want me mothering her, driving me. The elevator is empty as I pour myself in, all trace of raucous merriment gone. It’s as if it never happened. My brain pounds in my head as everything dips in front of me. I’d only had one drink, but suddenly I feel like I’ve guzzled down an entire distillery.

Perhaps it’s a late onset of seasickness? I’d been so nervous that I hadn’t truly let myself think, and now, I have no choice. There’s no friend chattering in my ear, there’s no frantic trying on clothes, it’s just me and my thoughts. Closing my eyes. I clutch my stomach as the elevator descends. Every molecule of my being is on edge the closer I get to the play space.

The need to hurl churns my stomach until I’m forced to hold my hand over my mouth and pray for it to pass. When the doors open, I’m once again assaulted by bright lights and noise. Everything is too much. It’s way too much. Groaning, I trip out into the spillway and hold my wrist up to the man letting people in.

He frowns as he looks me up and down, and why wouldn't he. If I look half as wretched as I feel, then I wouldn’t even let myself in. As he looks at the info from my bracelet, he nods and motions me through. I must have passed whatever test it was that he gave me. No beeps go off as I ease through the detectors, and I grab a phone. I’m not completely sure why I did that. In my current state, I don’t think I should be playing.

A flash of brown curls and dark skin prickle my awareness, and I watch as the Dungeon Master loops ropes around each of Lizzy’s limbs. She’s practically naked, and if the sounds coming from her lips are any indication, she’s enjoying everything that man is giving her. His head turns to me, and once again, his dark eyes glint in the light, sending my stomach pitching.

His smile shows off a set of fangs, and I feel a slight bit of vindication. I must just be sick. I wasn’t seeing things earlier. Cool breath flutters against the back of my neck, and I whirl around, about to order whoever it is out of my space. Ice-blue eyes arrest my thoughts and peer deep down into my soul. He burrows deep within my brain until I swear I can feel him crawling around in my thoughts.