Page 48 of Dark Revolution

“When I woke up, it was devastating. I had to put the pieces together myself and realize that I was alive while my world had crumbled and vanished. Then I smelled you. Not as an omega, but I could still smell the thread of her running through your veins, my Annalise. I followed it, knowing I had to have you.”

Sighing, he ran his hand up and down his face a few times. “I never expected last night to happen. I never ever intended to harm you in any way. Something inside of me snapped, and you were no longer there. Instead, I was back to one hundred years ago with Annalise in front of me instead of you. You can’t begin to know how wretched I feel for any pain and mental anguish I’ve caused you.”

Jaxxon pauses as if searching for the right words. “I need you to understand that she’s nothing to me. I still have no concept of how last night happened. What I feel for you, the depths of our bond, it’s nothing compared to what I had with her. Comparing the two is laughable. There will never be another woman besides you.”

His grin is shaky as he glides his thumb against my lips. I resist the urge to sigh and melt into him, giving in to the arousal that hasn’t fully stopped since I’ve been back in his presence. This is a serious conversation and deserves my full attention. Pain and guilt thump deep inside my chest, but this time, it’s an intermingling of both of us. The suffering that he’s gone through is simply unimaginable.

I may be without my family, but I didn’t just wake up, and they were gone. The closest I have to his grief is my parents, but at least then, I knew there was a chance they weren’t coming back. They both prepared me for the inevitable. Jaxxon had no such courtesy. And to survive the death of a mate? To endure with only half a bond? Thank the gods for an Alpha as strong as him by my side.

The days are tumultuous, and I can’t imagine having some weakling to protect me. With Jaxxon, I know he can survive just about anything. Again, I slide my hand up to his cheek, pushing everything I’m feeling through the bond, so he knows it’s true. I don’t hate him at all. In fact, the only thing I feel for him is sorrow at what has happened. Knowing that he isn’t pining for some other omega goes a long way in easing the agony from last night.

His face softens as something akin to love shines through his eyes. It feels similarly coming through the bond, but I know we aren’t there yet. We’re still practically strangers, but it gives me hope. Glancing down at my arm in the sling, I spy the new insignia denoting my omega status, and my blood freezes.

“Do you think I’m related to her? Why else would I smell the same?” My brain clicks as horrible scenarios play through my mind. What if I’m the product of their union. True, it would be a hundred years apart, but the joining would still be an abomination in the eyes of the High Echelon and the Goddess Ilaria.

“I know what you’re thinking, little omega, and no, you are not from my lineage. Your smell, no matter how far down the line, would be repugnant to me. It’s a way to ensure pure lines with no cross-breeding. Others, namely the High Echelon and some of the Guardian Alphas, push past that, wearing respirators and forcing themselves into a false heat in order to mate and breed. Many times, the children are not viable unless they are strong Alphas.”

He pauses for a moment, a smirk crossing his lips. If his thoughts are along the same lines as mine, perhaps Caulder is one of those inbreds. It’s not charitable, but then he doesn’t deserve anything from me after what he’s done. “If I had to wager a guess,” Jaxxon continues. “Caulder is the product of Roderick’s line, but probably not directly from the source. He craved you far too much for it to be just a political union.”

A shudder racks my body as I remember his feverish demands. The fact that Jaxxon managed to outbid him was a miracle in and of itself. That alone is enough to forgive him, even without his tragic tale. With Caulder, things would have been much worse. “My Lord Alpha, I hold none of this against you. I only ask that you stop torturing yourself.”

“You don’t understand, Annora. I broke a vow towards you. It might have been unspoken, but my word is my bond. How are you to trust me with your protection and guidance if I’m liable to slip back? I don’t know what set it off this time; how will I prevent it in the future?”

I lay my hand on his chest, feeling the bond vibrate between us. “You were insane, driven mad by the missing bond. You feel me now. If this is the result of last night, then the pain was worth it.”

Tears mist his eyes as he shakes his head. “Not to me. You deserve far more than what happened last night. I have already sought physical repentance, but I need it from you as well. Tell me what to do to make it up to you. If it is in my power, I will grant it.”

A smirk twists my lips up as the lower region tells me exactly how it wants retribution. “I feel it’s only fair to give me all the pleasure you can. After all, I still have so very much to learn about these things, and you are my Master Alpha.” I want to be serious, to take this with as much gravitas as he seems to be demanding, but I can’t. I can’t hold something against him that’s not even his fault.

I still detest the designation of being an omega, but if this dynamic comes with all the mind-blowing sex I can handle, then that’s at least one trade-off, right? It also helps knowing I have a warrior Alpha to keep me safe. Last night was not the best night of my life, but he was still controlled enough to not actually damage me. What other Alpha in his position would have done the same?

Langston, of course, comes to mind, but I have no feelings towards him except as maybe a brother or protective cousin. If I picture myself as an omega, the only Alpha I can see standing by my side is Jaxxon. His eyes turn molten as he studies my body, and my nipples harden under his gaze.

Again, my body hums for him, begging for his touch even though I reached my peak just hours before. Is this the true curse of an omega? To crave their Master’s touch until the day they die? There are worse things, for sure. He reaches for me, and his eyes scrunch as pain floods our bond. In all of this, how did I forget his injury?

“Remove your shirt, my Lord Alpha.”

“Giving me orders already, my little omega?” He growls. “Settling into the claiming mark with ease, I see.”

“You don’t scare me,” I tease, leaning up to kiss his nose. “Besides, if you act like a brute, I can always find ways to annoy you through our bond. I’m not sure how yet, but I know I’ll find a way.”

“You’re such a brat. I should have belted you last night, for sure.”

“Ahh,” I fire back, using my good arm to help ease the fabric over his shoulders. “But you didn’t. And if you tried now, that would just be overkill. Let's just forget the punishment you owe me and wipe the slate clean.” Even as the words leave my lips, a slight stab of longing twists my gut. I can’t define it, but the feeling is overwhelming.

Leaning down, Jaxxon captures my lips with his, flooding our bond with all the lust and desire he has for me, kindling a response of my own. Arousal floods my system as he forces his tongue into my mouth, filling my senses with him and him alone. “Don’t tease me with your wanton thoughts, omega. I’ve vowed to never touch you again until you’re in heat and begging for my knot.”

I pull back and pin him with my fiercest glare. “Let me get this straight. You accidentally hurt me last night and then make a vow that will force me to continue to suffer? Are you crazy?”

“What else would you have me do? I can’t chance harming you again, and in the heat of things, I don’t know if I can stop.”

“I don’t know. I guess if you consulted me first, I’d say your punishment was to pleasure me until I can’t move regardless of how you feel about the matter, but no, you had to be stupid and make this godsforsaken vow. You’ve already said you don’t break your promises. So, what am I supposed to do now?”

My brain whirls for a moment until a grin slides across my face. Pulling away from him, I sit back down on the toilet and spread my legs wide, letting him see the effect his presence has on me. His eyes grow darker as he stares at the juncture between my thighs as wetness starts to gather. Unable to resist any more, I slide my hand down, brushing over that sensitive spot, groaning at the pleasure flooding my system.

It’s a pale replication of the sensations he provided for me last night, but it at least takes the edge off. Groaning, I lean back and arch my hips up into the air, increasing the pressure until it’s closer to his touch. He stands there watching me, his eyes hooded. The spicy, masculine scent of his body calls to me, surrounding me until each breath is filled with him.

The bond sizzles with his growing desire, but still, he stands there, not moving. What will it take for him to ravage me again? Now that I know he’ll be seeing me and not her, I want him to take me, to drown out the noise in my head until all I can think about is the delicious pain and pleasure warring in my body.