Page 24 of Dark Holiday

I had hoped that by using her as a work submissive, Cindy would have succumbed a lot sooner to my charms, but just like in high school, she’s playing hard to get. What is it about me that drives her away? She obviously wants me. That much was made evident by her little field trip, and it couldn’t have been because of someone else.

Before her excursion to the outside bathroom, the only thing that transpired was her looking over the damned list. Hell, if I knew lists turned her on like that, I’d write one every day, but deep down, I know it’s more than that. She craves the structure, the stability, the ability to work without thinking because I've already done that for her.

If only she’d let me love her, cherish her, care for her. I know exactly what she needs, but she won’t give in. Fucking hell. If only this job wasn’t in the way. If only I could keep her by my side and train her, mold her without all these distractions or restrictions. I’ve seen her downward spiral with the few reports I get here and there from the PI, as well as intel from my own hacking.

She needs this. She needs me. The fact that I have to keep watching her hit rock bottom over and over is agonizing, especially when I have the power to stop it. I just wish I knew why she fights me so hard. It must be because some small part of her knows it's for her own good, and that part keeps rebelling, refusing to let me love her.

Something will have to give, and it’s not going to be me. After a minute or so, she shuffles into the office, defeat etched in her face. I know she couldn’t get off, but that’s no longer my problem. Right now, I need to figure out the long game and stop fucking around with these small sprints.

* * *

Cynthia

Daniel is smug like a king in his castle, and why shouldn’t he be? He has me exactly where he wants me. Glancing over at the older woman as she eases her way around the desks, I lift my hand to wave until I notice her heading to Daniel's office. I shouldn’t be nosey, but I can’t help myself. In the few days I’ve been here, he’s never had someone other than me go in there.

She emerges a few minutes later, arms ladened with papers. My heart sinks as she turns to go over to the copy room. That was my job, but somehow, my ineptitude made it so someone else would have to pick up the slack. Guilt slams into me as she hobbles along, and I so desperately want to help her, to make this right.

I glance down at the list, noting his order in bold. I’m not allowed. I can’t ever make this right. Sliding down into my seat, I rest my head in my hands. I can’t cry. I won’t cry. I despise Daniel for making me feel this way. Instead of instructing me like a normal boss, he’s bullying both the people who work here and me.

The phone rings, interrupting my morose thoughts. At least that’s one part of the job I know how to do. Picking up a pad of paper, I glance over at the list, ensuring I get all the information he needs. If this is going to be my only job, then I’m sure as hell going to do it right.

* * *

All the other workers gather their things, and I’m amazed at how fast the time flew by. Daniel wasn’t exaggerating when he talked about how prominent an attorney he was. The phone was ringing nonstop, and in the few moments it wasn’t, emails were pouring in. I don’t know how the other assistants did it. I’m only doing part of the work, and I’m already swamped.

Shaking my head, I slip my feet back into my shoes and follow the others out. I pause, turning to look at Daniel’s office door, but he doesn’t even acknowledge me. His head is buried in paperwork, that delicious frown marring his face. Stepping closer, I knock on the doorframe, letting him know I’m here before barging in.

“I’m busy, Cindy. Can it wait?”

“I was hoping I could help -.”

“You’ve been helpful enough. Please go home. I’ll pick up the slack from here.”

I open my mouth to ask again, but the pained, angry look he shoots me shuts me up. Yeah. I fucked up. Things were at least good between us while I let him have his way with me, but now that that’s off the table, he’s back to his surly demeanor. Is it too late to renegotiate? Is my professionalism worth this icy rift between us?

If I’m being honest with myself, it was never about being professional and all about salvaging my heart. I’ve already gone through this dance with him before. It would be nothing short of insanity to invite it again. Morals don’t help with the guilt, though. I watched as others stepped up to the plate throughout the day, filling in the gaps that should have been mine to take care of.

I thought I could wing it. I thought I could just show up, and everything would work out. Being an assistant shouldn’t be difficult, and yet, somehow, I managed to mess all of it up. Shaking my head, I leave the room, heading down to Jack, who I know is patiently waiting for me. With a small smile and a wave of his hand, he lets me into the car and takes me to my temporary home.

Ryan and Brittany will be out late tonight, leaving me all alone with my thoughts. As we whizz by the buildings, watching them morph from fancy highrises to middle-class homes, my brain drifts back to the butt plug. If there was ever a night I needed absolution, it was tonight. Somehow, it feels wrong to do something so intimate when Daniel and I are barely on speaking terms. Thanking Jack, I walk into the house and settle for a soak instead.

CHAPTER 13

Cynthia

Daniel walks into the main office, dark bags under his eyes and his hair a little unkempt. He looks like shit. Guilt gnaws at me as he walks straight to his office without saying a word to any of us. I know it’s my fault; I just don’t know how to fix everything. Glancing down at the massive list, my breathing quickens as I take it all in. It’s so much. So overwhelming.

According to him, this isn’t even all that he would expect from a personal assistant. If this is less than the bare minimum, just how much does he have to take on? The second the phone rings, I jump into action, picking it up before he has to. If the way back into his good graces is through doing a good job, I’ll do the best damn job I can.

I jot down everything, making a separate list for myself of just the phone call information, and hang up, a smile crossing my face. That wasn’t so hard. As the hours tick by, I become immersed in my work, trying desperately to ignore the urge to go to the bathroom. Daniel did say I had to ask before I went, but he couldn’t really mean that...right?

Glancing back at the all-mighty list, I notice it’s not on there. I squirm a bit in my chair, glancing up at Daniel’s office, noting that all the blinds are open except the one next to my desk. I guess he’s still pretty upset about how things went down. Setting my papers onto the desk, I inch my way over and knock on his door.

The slight smile on his face disappears the moment he looks up. “Yes? How can I help you now?”

“I - I - Ummm.”

“‘I ummm isn’t a request. Spit it out, Cynthia. As you can see, I’m very busy.”