Page 3 of Dating is for Suckers

I thought just doing simple arms dealing would be it. I could run weapons to various organizations and get paid handsomely. Too bad I didn’t check out Luka and his team before agreeing to work with them. I thought the gun run was just a one-time thing. I didn’t realize I was auditioning to be a permanent member of his team.

Year one, and already immortality sucked. But I can’t get out now. There’s no magic cure, no sting operation that will let me escape and turn state’s witness. Even now, I can feel his presence in my skull. A never-ending ache that reminds me that things will never be the same. But I can’t tell her this. To confess my sins would sign her death warrant. I’m not allowed to turn anyone. That was made abundantly clear. So, the only recourse would be to drain her to the point of death.

Since I don’t want this pretty, young thing’s death adding to my already blackened heart, I opt for the lie that rests so easily on my lips. “I got out of a serious relationship a few months ago. I’m not really ready for the dating scene, but I didn’t want to be alone on Valentine’s Day either. Believe it or not, men can be sentimental creatures too.”

Her eyes mist over as she turns away to dab at the corner. I don’t even need my enhanced senses to tell me she’s hurting. Someone caused this rift in her heart, and for the first time since my turning, I feel a possessive urge towards someone other than my maker. I want nothing more than to scoop her in my arms and demand she tell me who’s causing these tears.

I want to rip him limb from limb if only that would bring a smile to her face. Where in the hell are these thoughts coming from? Most women get a cursory glance that stirs my hunger, but nothing more. But something about Lissa has me dreaming again. Shaking those insane thoughts out of my head, I open the door and usher her inside.

She pauses, her gasp going straight to my dick. I groan under my breath and slide my hand down to adjust things. If this is any indication of how tonight will go, I’ll need to get her downstairs fast and relieve myself before someone gets hurt.

Glancing around the bar, I try to see things through her eyes. Seeing as I live here, it’s become mundane. Just another place to reside. The thick, plush, blood-red carpets cover almost every available inch, giving the space a hushed, almost reverent tone. Even the people at the tables speak in whispers, not wishing to break the spell.

It reeks of humans. Most of the other vampires are either downstairs preparing their meals, or they’re prowling the streets, pushing the drugs we are ordered to flood the city with. Desperation rolls off of the humans as they hover over their plates, the small bites speaking of elegance, but in reality, it’s smaller portions, so they’re not too full to fuck later.

That’s one of the appeals of this place. The men can lavish their women with money, get them drunk, then have a night of sloppy, unfulfilling sex. At least Lissa won’t suffer that fate. She’ll see God several times before I drink from her. Leading her to the bar, I pull out the chair, attempting to be a gentleman before sitting next to her. I need to take the edge off. The scent wafting from her eager body is almost too much for me to handle.

Motioning for a bartender, I do the universal symbol for blood on tap. A negative if they have it. “What would you like?”

“Oh. I really don’t drink.”

“Come on, you have to have something.” I flash her a killer smile, embedding a hint of compulsion in my words.

“You’re right,” she replies back, her voice wooden. I think I went a touch overboard with the order. I don’t want to strip her of her free will. It’s supposed to be a nudge. Nothing more. Turning to the bartender, she gives her a small smile. “I’d like a virgin daiquiri?”

Not what I had in mind, but I don’t want her thinking I’m just trying to get her drunk. That’s for later. Jessica slides her knowing gaze over to me, waiting for my response. Normally, when I have a human with me, they’re ordering the most expensive drink on the shelf, but not Lissa. It’s highly irregular.

Giving Jessica a nod, I watch as she slides back over to prepare the drinks. Hopefully, soon, I can get her loose enough to at least try something stronger. I can’t bring her downstairs until she’s fully drugged. Though I would like her to take it willingly, I’m not opposed to spiking her drink if needed. I’ll allow her this one, but the next will be alcohol, even if I have to force it down her throat myself.

Once the drinks arrive, I shoot the blood down like a shot, sighing as the crawling need quiets to a low hum. If only immortality didn’t come with such drawbacks. Most have been able to get past the cravings, but I haven’t. For some reason, my humanity still wars with me, something Luka promised would die in time. But he’s wrong.

Drink in hand, Lissa starts to relax, opening up. Surprisingly, we have far more in common than I ever could have imagined. If we were both human, I would claim her as my own and insist that we take this date further than just tonight. The agonizing pang of my former humanity slams into me as she waxes poetic about her hopes and dreams.

It’s almost not fair. Why can’t I be one of those cold-blooded killers that take to being a vampire as easy as taking a breath? It would be far easier to look at this as the simple transaction it was instead of pining for something I can never have again. Phantom pains where my heart once resided spike through me as Lissa tosses her hair back, laughing at some lame attempt at a joke I told.

It would be so easy. So perfect. I never believed in soulmates. It just wasn’t something that ever came up, and at thirty-five, I was too old to even think in those terms. But now that eternity looms before me, it seems so dark. So bleak. So lonely. I crawl deep inside myself, looking for my master. Looking for something to reassure me that it won’t always be this way.

But there’s nothing.

I’m not surprised. Once Luka turned me, he doted on me for about a month or so, guiding me into the life of being a vampire. But soon after, he let me loose, along with a few others he turned around the same time. He’d check in with me every other day or so, but the last few months, he’d been silent.

At first, I was worried, thinking he’d been displeased with us, but every month, his orders still come through. If he was that upset, I’m sure we’d be dead by now. He made it abundantly clear that his reach far exceeds Russia. Just because he’s not here to keep an eye on things doesn’t mean he won’t execute swiftly and decisively. Sloughing off those morbid thoughts, I stare once more at Lissa, letting her soft voice and calm presence fill my body, soothing me.

I have to bury myself deep inside her soon. If I don’t, I’m liable to lose what little humanity I have left by letting her break the remainder of my heart. Lifting my hand, I motion for Jessica again. “I’ll have another shot and a Fallen Angel for my lovely date here.”

“Oh. I can’t. Please. I’m such a lightweight.”

“Don’t worry,” Jessica purrs, her voice ladened with a compulsion that’s far more alluring than mine. If hers is a seductive whisper, mine is certainly a battering ram. But I guess that’s what happens when you have decades of practice. “It’s almost a virgin,” she continues, winking at Lissa. “It’s what I give my new drinkers when they turn twenty-one. Just something with the barest hint of a buzz.”

“I -. I don’t know. I really don’t want to get tipsy.”

Jessica leans down onto the bar, leveling her eyes with Lissa’s. “I promise you, sweet thing. You won’t.”

Red tinges my vision as I watch Jessica flirt with her. Shamelessly. Right the fuck in front of me. I know I’m new here, but she’s mine. I fucking brought her here. That should count for something. The corner of my lips rises up in a snarl, revealing just a hint of fang. I know I’m not intimidating to someone far older than me, but at least it’s proof that I’m staking my claim.

Jessica laughs and pulls away, shaking her head at me like I’m some cute, errant child that doesn’t stand a chance. Pulling in a deep breath, I puff out my chest, reminding her that even though I’m still a young vampire, I’m not a young man. All it does is make her laugh more as anger threads through my body like barbed wire.

Turning to Lissa, I force the thoughts away and stare at her, watching as she sips on the drink. Her lips purse around the edge of the glass, and the visual of her pouty mouth sends a vision of them doing far dirtier things. Gripping the edge of the bar, I force my thoughts to take a more mundane turn. I’ll need the distraction to be able to last the night.