Page 141 of Black Light: Cured

Should I even say anything to her? This is merely the preliminaries. There’s still a chance I won’t

get the job, or there will be some other issue that makes it untenable. Why should I stress Lila out by

telling her something that may not even happen?

Until I get an official job offer in hand, there’s no point in upending her world.

But, no matter what it would do for my career, can I really bear leaving her for this job? Only the

most elite surgeons get invited to work there, and it wouldn’t be just basketball anymore. I’d be the

consulting surgeon for both the Mavericks and the Cowboys. Basketball and football. It’s a dream

I’ve had since I decided to pursue orthopedics… but Lila has made it clear that she never wants to

leave. D.C. I can’t—no, won’t—selfishly ask her to drop everything to move across the country

because of my dream. Especially after I’ve been so disrespectful of her job… it would be the ultimate

slap in the face.

As much as the idea kills me, her dreams, her ambitions are what I need to protect. She’s so

content giving of herself, even to her own detriment. If I don’t stand up for what’s important to her,

then who will? If I asked she’d more than likely throw away what makes her so happy and fulfilled to

follow me—and I won’t do that.

If anything, I finally understand what massage means to her. It’s not just a means of relaxation like

I thought. It’s an art, a skill, a passion. And now that I finally respect the hell out of it, it means I’m

willing for us to both be devastated in the short-term if it means she can continue thriving. She’s

worth it to me. I love her enough that I’m willing to give her up so she can pursue what makes her

truly happy.

And I can make sure all my sacrifices aren’t a waste either.

Stagnating here in D.C. would be toxic to my career. It will be decades before I even get the

chance to be the head of my department here, and I’ll never get the opportunities to make a name for

myself as a surgeon if I’m doing routine procedures—no matter how perfectly I do them.

Deep down, I knew something this good wouldn’t last, not for me, but it’s not time to say goodbye

yet. I still owe her the Shibari scene she deserves, and that means tying her to the best of my ability

and making her see stars.

I so desperately want to play with her in my own way as well. I need this to ground me, to remind

myself that no matter what happens, we will have these moments, these memories.

I look up and see her crossing the main floor, this time wearing a light-green, lacy lingerie set.