Page 10 of Naughty

He stands in front of me and crosses his arms. I really should have a word with him about his insubordination; however, I just don't have the energy to fight one more battle, especially with Red. His eyes glint in anger. I guess it's too much to hope he'd gotten over that.

"Look, she's with Asmon now. No harm, no foul."

"There shouldn't have been an issue there in the first place. I can't believe you would do something like that. What would your father have said?"

My vision hazes over for just a moment. All I can see is white. A strange roar echoes in my ears, and it's not until I feel a sudden sense of irrational calm that I realize my hands are wrapped around Red's throat. A pair of thick arms wrestle me back, but I'm too caught up in the adrenaline.

Dancer runs her fingers over my bicep, whispering nonsensical soothing words in my ear. The roar and haze fade until my world rights itself. With a shove, Red tosses me off of him, and I allow it. I can't believe I lost control like that. Bitterness fills me, and I can taste it on my tongue. How dare he utter anything about my father.

"You don't know what in the tangled tinsel you're talking about. My relationship with Kringle is none of your concern."

The venom pours from my lips. Unfortunately, the wounds I dredged up didn't just go away. I should have known there was layer upon layer just festering in my heart. Setting my back to the wall, I slide down and cradle my head in my hands. How in the hell can I be Father Christmas with this much hate?

One by one, the other reindeer leave until it's just Red and me. He joins me on the floor and sits there in silence. In fact, just his presence is a comfort. Glancing to the side, I eye my childhood friend. He's not so much different than back then, but there's an air of sadness in him. Same with me. Maybe Christmas is just cursed.

"Have you ever thought of just giving it all up?

Red turns and looks at me, his eyes wide. "Give up what, exactly. Christmas? The North Pole?" He shakes his head and stretches out his legs. "There are things I'd change, but I'd never just give up. What type of protector would that make me? You're not the only one who depends on me. I have all the other reindeer under me that look for guidance, a friend, a mentor. Where would they be if I just gave up?"

Sighing, he thuds his head back against the wall, a sudden weariness passing over his face. "Do I wish we could go to the beginning and start over? Most definitely. But that will never happen. We both have regrets. Big ones. But that doesn't mean we get to take the easy road and just give up."

Red pats me on the knee and stands up. I join him and pull him into a large hug, and he hesitates for just a moment before hugging me back. Maybe giving up isn't the answer, but something's got to shift. We can't all keep living like this. Now that the North Pole, and the world in general, depend on me, I have to stop wallowing and start living.

I release him and let him go on his way, my mind consumed with my thoughts. Looking back towards the dining room, I watch the four banter and laugh again; a pang of grief and loneliness sweeps through me. Even the servant elves bustle about with a smile on their face. They all tease and laugh. It's like a big family that I'm not a part of.

Several elves duck in and clear plates, many of them I've known since a child, some are new. The elf that caught Asmon's eye just a few days ago comes in with the others and moves about with the ease of someone that's used to being there. There's no way he's new.

Shaking my head, I duck into the kitchen. The smell of food drives out all other thoughts except for my stomach. I grab a plate and load up, trying to sneak several sweets from the breadbasket near the sink.

"Now, Master Claus. I know you're not getting into the cookies before you're had a proper dinner."

My cheeks flush for a moment before turning and smiling at the aging cook. Reaching out, I grab a hunk of chicken and a heaping of vegetables, completely hiding my dessert plate.

"Protein and veggies accounted for."

With a harrumph, she slides up her glasses and crosses her arms underneath her ample bosom.

"Don't think I don't see that plate of goodies. You may be Father Christmas, but it's still my job to make sure you eat right."

I lean over and give her a quick peck on her weathered cheek. "Don't worry, Mamma Gloria. I'm eating well."

A misty look passes over her eyes as she nods and continues clearing the dishes. "I'll send Jacob in for you plates when you're done."

"No need," I call out, slipping back into the dining area. I'll have them for you tomorrow morning."

Not wanting another lecture from the matronly woman, I race back towards my workshop. I've already left Noel by herself for far too long. By the time I've gotten through all the panels, my heart is beating out of my chest. It's not until I see her sleeping peacefully that I finally calm down.

I set the plate over at my desk and hurry over to the cage. Hunching down, I skim my fingers over her cheek, delighted when she nuzzles into me. We stay there like that for more time than is necessary, but I still don't know what to do with her. Perhaps when I interrogate her some more tomorrow, she'll be able to give me something to go on.

I keep her asleep as I make my way back over to the computer. With the monitor off in my study, I'm able to redirect everything back to this one. Names and codes fly across the screen, and I swipe to slow everything down. Each time I look at the list, I curse that I allowed Asmon to take Caitlin back to his home. But what was I to do? To keep her here would cause a battle the likes of which North Pole Proper has never seen.

No, it's better she stays there. I don't want to stir up any more memories or ill will. Glancing over at Noel, my gaze softens. She's nothing like Angelica or Caitlin. I turn back to the screen and try to remember what she did to access the backdoor code. It takes several frustrating minutes, but there everything is.

From what I can tell, no one has entered it again, at least from outside this computer. I should feel relieved, but instead, all I can feel is an impending dread. I look at the date on the monitor, my heart plummeting. How am I going to ensure everything goes right on that big night?

Not only is Father not going to be there with me, but someone is also fudging with my lists. Why couldn't this have happened when I had a safety net? Groaning, I swipe off my monitor and gather the plate. Trying to figure this out on an empty stomach isn't going to help. Closing my eyes, I skim my fingers over Noel's hair and send a bit of magic to wake her up.