Page 51 of Dark Goodbye

The sky was overcast that night. Neither moon shone in the sky — an aberration. That’s probably what convinced Clan Mother to take me in. I was an omen to her, a sign of things to come. Now, I’m an ‘adult’ leaving my mate instead of my parents who would have eventually cast me into the High Sanctum.

They didn’t love me… or, if they did, they never showed it in a way that I was able to comprehend. Davix claims to love me. He tells me every chance he gets. But does he? Does he really? How can he claim to have these feelings when I can’t even reciprocate them?

My brain whirls about, trying to put everything into logical perspective, but my heart refuses to go along with it. Instead, it dwells on how well he took care of me, the tenderness with which he treated my arm, the soft smiles he gave me when he thought I wasn’t looking. The traitorous little organ clenches in need as I force my brain to take back control.

Hormones.

That’s all it is.

It’s all it will ever be.

No Alpha is capable of true love unless it’s with a beta. No omega is capable of true love unless it’s with a beta. Biological urges are what make up ‘love,’ not true emotions. I have to grow up, to put aside foolish notions, and follow my brain.

Easing my body out of the window, I sit on the sill, letting my feet dangle for a moment. Once I make this choice, there’s no going back. My stomach churns as I weigh my options. My heart and body want to climb back in, to wait patiently for Davix’s return. My mind, however, will not rest.

I take in a deep breath and hold it as I push myself out, crouching down so that I don’t injure myself. Blinding pain shoots up my leg, and I clamp my lips shut to keep myself from crying out. A loud crunching sound meets my ears, setting my pulse to a rapid staccato.

CHAPTER 22

Ladria

Dear gods. If I’ve broken my ankle, then there’s definitely no way of escaping. Whether it was the fault of the baggy clothes or if I misjudged the distance, it doesn’t matter. The damage is already done. Rolling to my side, I clutch the injured leg in my arms.

With each movement, the snapping sound continues to pepper the air, allowing my brain a much-needed wake-up call. Dry, dead leaves cover every inch of the walkway, crunching with every bit of weight I put on them. More than likely it’s a sprain and not a break.

Extending my leg, I look at the injured ankle, rolling it a few times. There’s pain there, yes, but I’m fully able to put it into a rotation and wiggle my toes. I sag against the side of the house, giving myself a moment for my heart to calm down.

My mind clicks into gear as I hear noises coming from the front. It’s not safe to stay here. I yank off the coat and tear at the sleeve, using that to bind up my leg. It’s not the best thing, but it should at least get me back to the commune. The Clan Mother’s physicians can patch me up there.

Forcing myself up, I put some weight on the joint, nausea rolling through me as pain shoots up my leg, nearly crumpling me. I lean heavily on the other side, dragging my sprained ankle behind me as I shuffle forward. So far, no one has seemed to hear me, but I can’t press my luck any further. Biting down on my lower lip, I look about the area to get my bearings.

Luckily, I’ve been in this sector before, and three years isn’t long enough for me to forget my way. Hobbling over toward the main hub, I stare at the transports sitting there, waiting to take people to other areas. Would the mark Malus gave me be enough to fool the machines? It would be so much easier to use this than to walk all the way.

Biting down on my lower lip, I shuffle forward, brushing off the odd looks cast my way by the various passersby. All I have to do is get to Sector One. From there, no one will pay me any attention. I bare my wrist and hold it to the scanner, mimicking what I’ve seen my parents do.

Time ticks by as the screen comes to life, showing a moving circle as registers the mark. My heart flutters in my chest, nearly beating out through my ribs as it continues to whirl about in a never-ending loop. Next to me, others scan their wrists at a different transport, and the beep is immediate. There’s no thinking, no hesitation.

Perhaps this transport is just broken? Wishful thinking on my part. My ankle throbs as I stand there, muddling my brain, slowing down my actions. That’s the only reason my brain can come up with that I’m not moving to safety.

By the time a red X appears on the screen and sirens pepper the air, it’s too late. We all fall to our knees, clasping our ears as the sound refuses to cease. From my position, I watch as the armored feet of the Guardian Alphas tromp forwards, their movements purposeful, each step bringing them ever closer to my position.

It’s now or never. I didn’t escape my Alpha only to be taken in by them. Rising, I dart to the side as best as I can, whimpering as my ankle refuses to cooperate. The others stare at me, their eyes wide as I maneuver around their bodies. Poor privileged Stanlionians that have been able to stay in their little bubbles and never have to witness someone running for their life.

Blood pounds in my ears as I shuffle forward, adrenaline carrying me where my body refuses to go. Every nerve stands on end as my brain calculates the best options; however, there seem to be none. The transports are the only way to the other levels that don’t seem to require climbing.

I stare over the edge of the rocky crevasse, my heart in my throat. I should have remembered that. I should have known that this sector was held aloft, untouchable by those beneath it. Panic slams into me as everything becomes clear in that moment.

I can’t go back.

I can’t allow them to take me.

I should have stayed with Davix where I was safe.

Lifting the shield, I reach out, doing my best to keep my panic and pain at bay. Right now, I just want to feel him, to know his love. To allow my heart the thing my mind will never allow — cannot allow.

One. Last. Time.

The moment I reach out, he’s there, filling me to the brim with everything within him. It sizzles along my synapse, flooding me with an intensity that never fails to take my breath away. My heart thumps as I take it in, allowing it to fill in those hollow, ragged gaps in my soul.