Page 55 of Dark Goodbye

The feelings and words coming through the bond are a jumbled mess, and I cannot make sense of anything she’s trying to say. Mostly, I feel her sorrow and fear, but what exactly does she have to be so afraid of? I’m the one accused of murder.

Unless they think she’s an accomplice. I do my best to shield the spike of panic and anger so that it doesn’t come across the bond to Ladria. Without her being here, without her knowing what’s going on, I’m sure she’ll misinterpret it.

Conjuring her in my mind, I allow myself to calm down, breathing in and out as I slow my pacing. I focus on her, using this opportunity to delve into her mind before she can shut it off. Physically, she seems to be okay, which is paramount to my ability to remain calm.

Emotionally, however, she feels like a nervous wreck. Sitting down on the pitiful cot, I lean my head back against the wall and purr. Even though she can’t hear or feel it, I’m hoping it will convey across the bond and relax her a bit.

Bit by bit, the tension between us lessens, giving me hope that I can help her in this way. Being apart makes me feel so helpless, and I detest not being able to cradle her in my arms and rock her to sleep.

After several moments, that familiar barrier climbs back up, and I ball my hands into fists, slamming them against the cot. Why? Every fucking time we take one step forward, she has to erect this wall between us. I don’t understand. Have I failed her so much as an Alpha? Is this to be our forever if we make it out of here?

Even in the looming threat of execution, she denies me. I never asked much from her. I allowed her so much free reign, to do as she pleased within the confines of my home. And this is how she repays me? Why in all the earth can’t she let me love her as I long to do? Especially now in what could very well be our final hour.

Before I can answer any of my questions, the loud squeak of the cell hinges cuts off my line of thinking. Two Guardian Alphas stand in the doorway, their arms crossed. I guess that means it’s time.

Taking in a deep breath, I rise, extending my hands. Nothing in my movements should convey me as a threat, and I plan to keep it that way. Ladria is too important for me to just die because I fought the law.

As the cold irons encircle my wrists, I let my mind drift. I’m not thinking anything really, just keeping my face neutral and my body languid. If I allow myself to think of Ladria, it will only heighten my desire to plow through them, escaping so I can rescue her.

Just in case she is here, I breathe through my mouth, taking shallow breaths in and out, just enough to keep me from passing out. No doubt the very scent of her will be enough to send me into a protective rage, and I can’t allow that. I must remain strong for her, for us.

We traverse the long hall, both sides surrounded by endless rows of cells. Most of them are empty, but the few that hold prisoners reek of fear, hopelessness, and desperation. I pray Ladria isn’t in one of these — the scent alone would overwhelm her.

Plink. Plink. Plink. Off in the distance a leaky pipe drips down onto the stone, the only sound in this godsforsaken place. Plink. Plink. Plink. It crawls beneath my skin, filling my brain with its hellish sound. How can people live like this? Just being here for a few moments, and I already want to commit crimes against the two forcing me to endure it.

Then, amidst the fetid stench of people and rotten food, I catch the whiff of innocence, of sunshine, of the one bright spot in my life. I keep my posture neutral, but all my attention is attuned to that scent.

The more cells we pass, the stronger it becomes, until we finally pass her. Pulling away from the Guardians, I wrap my fingers around the bars, ignoring their shouts of protest as they yank on my shoulders.

I need to see her. I need to look into her eyes. More than that, I desperately need her to know just how much I love her. “Ladria!”

My heart pounds in my throat as I stare at her small form, nearly swallowed by the cot. The only thing that tells me she’s still alive is the motion of her breathing as it forces her shoulders to rise and fall. For a moment, she doesn’t move. I hold my breath, blinking back scalding tears that threaten to slip.

Eventually, she stirs on the cot and blinks up at me, her eyes filled with confusion. For a moment, it’s as if she doesn’t even recognize me. Slamming my palm against the ragged metal, I ignore the fiery pinpricks as they splinter along my nerves.

Ladria’s eyes widen as she rolls off the cot, hobbling over to me as best as she can. Her lips tremble as she smiles up at me, her face stained with tears. It tugs at my heart, demanding I rip these bars apart and take her into my arms.

Strain as I might, they barely budge. And that’s when I notice her ankle. Rage bubbles through me as I stare at her injury. What did they do to her in here? A growl vibrates my chest, driving fear into her eyes, replacing the tentative affection that had been there moments before.

She misunderstands. My anger isn’t at her. Never at her. Switching to a purr, I reach through the bars, needing to touch her more than I need to breathe. She leans forward, nuzzling her cheek against my palm as tears shimmer in her eyes.

“Step away from the cell, prisoner,” the Alpha booms, flooding the air with his authority.

But I ignore it. They will have to tear me away from her to get me to move. Pain explodes over my shoulders as they slam their fists down on me, punching me in their attempt to get me to obey.

Pulling back, Ladria sobs, dropping her head into her hands. Pain yelps escape her throat with each blow they inflict on me. For a moment, the barrier falters, allowing me to feel her emotions wash over me. They’re like acid slicing through, full of terror, anguish, and sorrow.

Her lips move, but nothing comes out. She can’t even talk past the tears rolling down her face. I never meant for things to happen like this. She was supposed to be shielded from all of it. Self-recrimination slams into me as I’m forcibly dragged away from the bars.

“I love you, Ladria,” I call out, my heart breaking as I watch her delicate fingers slip through, waggling about as she reaches for me. “I have always loved you. Be strong for me, my good girl.”

Her fingers clench as she grasps at my hands, desperate mewls ripping from her throat. Despite the strength of the two Alphas, I pull forward, holding her hand in my grasp for a few precious moments, infusing everything I can into that one touch.

Her soft cries are the last thing I hear as they pull me past the large iron doors. I reach out to the bond, needing to feel her, but it’s still closed off. Madness eats at my brain. Even now, even when facing the last moments of my life, I will not be allowed to face my final judgment with her presence guiding me through.

No doubt she’s trying to shield me from the pain she’s feeling, but I want it. I want all of it. Every bit of her. It’s selfish. I know that. But still, an irrational part of me roars at the fact that I’m left with nothing.

No, I drill into my brain. Not nothing.