Page 108 of Little Miss Fortune

‘Who cares? He broke up with me. There is no future for us. This is it.’

‘I care! I care about you, Fuko. I think he was good for you.’

‘This is not what you’re supposed to say. You need to tell me he was a dog, that I will be better off without him, that he was a bum and I’m too pretty for him, anyway.’ My voice breaks. ‘You have to say those things, because I also think that we would have worked out, and he was good for me, and I need someone to tell me that this is not the end for me, even though right this moment I don’t know what I am meant to do without him.’

There is a beat when Sashka’s gaze softens, like when you see an abandoned puppy on the road that you know needs some warmth to calm down.

‘You will be fine without him.’ Her voice is gentle.

‘I know.’

‘You deserve better than this.’

‘Yes, exactly.’

‘He is the biggest idiot for letting you go.’

I cry into the table, hiding my face with my elbows. When a phone rings, my phone lights up with a number I haven’t seen before.

‘Hel-lo,’ I whimper in between syllables.

‘Is this Fuko?’ a female voice at the end of the line asks. She sounds somewhat familiar.

‘Yes?’ I put her on speaker.

‘This is Chloe, Toby’s friend.’

‘Oh, uh, hi,’ I say, and Sashka makes a face at me.

What are you doing?

I don’t know. Why is she calling me?

‘So, uh, I don’t know how to say this. I got this number from Toby’s phone when he wasn’t looking.’

I hold my breath. Is she with Toby? Is she with with Toby? How long has she had feelings for him? How long did he have feelings for her?

‘Yes?’ is all I say.

‘Toby didn’t tell you the whole reason today, did he?’

‘For ripping my heart out of my chest and tossing it into a shredder?’ I deadpan and get a slap behind the head.

Stop being pathetic! Sashka waves her hands.

I’m just being honest. I shrug

‘Well, he told me. I’m breaking some friendship ground rules, as I have promised not to tell anyone. You there?’

‘Yes, I am listening.’ I am just completely still.

‘So, a couple of months ago, right before his trip to Japan...’

‘Uh-huh.’

‘Toby was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s lymphoma. Very early stage, very curable.’

Hodgkin’s lymphoma. Toby has Hodgkin’s lymphoma. He’s had it the entire time I’ve known him and hasn’t said a word. When your mum dies of cancer, you look up which cancers she could have had and survived. He has such unbelievable luck, that even when he gets cancer he gets the most curable one.