Page 138 of Drowning in Darkness

She sighs. “He’s protective to the point of suffocation.”

“Agreed.”

“But you are free to make your own choices, Stephanie, and with those choices comes the very real reality that mistakes can be and will be made. Risks will be taken, but life is nothing without someone to share it with.”

“I don’t understand.”

“My brother is a complicated man.”

My shoulders stiffen, and my belly flips. “I’m all too aware of that.”

“But he does feel. In fact, he feels very fucking deeply.”

“Could have fooled me with the way he’s ghosted me these last few weeks.”

Her lips curve at the mention of her hacker handle. “You’re focusing too much on what he’s doing and not enough on what he’s not doing.” Her fingertips drum on her laptop.

“And what exactly is he not doing that I should be enraptured with?”

She turns the laptop, revealing a set of live camera feeds that show me the familiar lodge. My breath catches as James comes into view, shirtless, sweaty, and carrying another log to the chopping block.

“Hiding,” she says with a wink. “He’s already rescued you, Stephanie. The big question now is whether you’re prepared to repay the favor.”

FIFTY

JAMES

I thought the greatest thing I could give her was freedom. Turns out she was free to choose me.

It’s quiet here, and one of the reasons I fell in love with this spot. The only thing I do battle with is Mother Nature, and she’s an unforgiving adversary. She doesn’t take any prisoners, demanding respect instead, and I’m powerless to do anything but bow.

The first real storm is due, and it’s forecast to be a brutal one. I have enough supplies to last for months. I’ve checked the generators, and I’ve informed anyone who needs to know that I’m here.

The colonies have been dismantled, the men we can pin something on have been arrested, and the biggest cult case in modern history is being built one harrowing story at a time. Many of those born into it will take many, many hours to deprogram. I never bought into Jonathan’s bullshit and don’t need a psych to tell me how fucked up it was. Maybe that’s because while I grew up on the inside, I was groomed to be his right-hand man from a teenager, meaning I was regularly taken into the wider world and knew that the one my mother and sister were trapped in was a bubble designed to keep them weak.

Countless children were born and never registered with the state. They were the ones most in danger. You couldn’t miss someone you never knew existed. You couldn’t log crimes and investigations with literal ghosts.

I find myself in the guest room again, having lost count of how many times I’ve come in here and found another hint of the woman who had infused the place with warmth and love. I haven’t even washed the sheets, but I’ve laid on them like a creep, inhaling her fading strawberry scent like I’m trying to get my next fix. I’ve hovered on the send button a thousand times to ask how she’s doing, to check if she’s okay, to beg her to take a chance on us, to demand she forget I exist.

In short, it’s complicated.

I pull out my phone as I close the door to her room and pull up Daisy’s contact number, rereading the last few messages of concern from her that I haven’t answered. I haven’t felt the need to be at the end of her whip since Stephanie appeared here the first time. Guilt winds me in a chokehold. I should still need the pain to quiet the monsters, but those beasts have transformed, and I’m now tormented by what I had a taste of and lost. That’s a far greater torture than anything Daisy delivered.

Me: I’m good. But I won’t need to see you again.

The dots dance on the screen.

Daisy: I’m always here, even if you just need to talk something out. We don’t always have to tie you up. I make a mean curry.

My lips twitch.

Me: Noted.

An alert pops up in the corner, and my brows lower. The damn wildlife likes testing the security perimeter. You’d think I wouldn’t need them anymore, but the truth is, a lot of powerful people would prefer me dead for the secrets I hold and the atrocities I’ve witnessed. It’s the main reason I’m still walking free and allowed to exist off the grid. Camryn knows where I am and how to reach me. Incarcerated, I’d be dead within hours. This is a different type of prison, but so much more than I deserve.

The outermost cameras track movement. I tilt my head as an unfamiliar car appears, steered by a woman with a mass of dark curls I’d know from a mile away. Adrenaline floods my veins. How in the hell has she found me? I’d made sure to take the scenic route every time we ventured off the property. I doubt she even knows which town we’d visited, and even if she did, it wasn’t the closest.

My phone beeps again, and my sister’s name pops up.